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You Might be a Nurse If...

I think it's time for a little talkin' shop, my friends!!

I'm channelling my inner Jeff Foxworthy, and givin' you my version of "You might be a redneck if..."

So, here we go!

You might be a nurse if...

~At the end of the day, you realize you haven't peed since you woke up.

~You can talk about puke and poop at the supper table.

~You don't understand why people get grossed out by puke and poop talk at the supper table.

~Your kiddo coughs, and you're convinced it's double pneumonia.

~You get a spider bite, and obsess over it's appearance for days...certain an infection is going to set in any. minute.

~You take your child to the doctor if he so much as sneezes...or, you go the opposite, and don't take your child in unless he is near death.

~You frequently pepper your conversations with "stat, GBS, sepsis, multip, primip, bagging, desat, accel...". 'bout this:

You might be a Labor and Delivery Nurse if...

~You can use your first and second fingers to measure things in centimeters.

~Wiping poop from a grown woman's bottom doesn't bother you in the fact, you encourage her to keep it up!

~The sound of a crying baby makes you breathe a huge sigh of relief.

~The words, "Grand Multip" send you racing for a pair of gloves...and the lady isn't even in the building yet.

~You can swaddle a baby in 0.2 seconds flat.

~You're convinced that you have the greatest job in the world.


  1. My mom was a nurse and we NEVER went to the doctor unless it was a huge deal.

    What is "Grand Multip"?

  2. I could do the.. "you know your best friend is a nurse when...

    Every cough and/or sneeze your child has she tells you to run to the doc

    You sanitize wwaay to much bc she tells you about the step virus that could be looming on that high chair

    She fusses at your for putting a blanket in your baby crib (even though the baby is 17 mo old)

    LoL my bestie is a newborn nursery nurse and sometimes...she is a little overboard ;)

  3. Love it.

    I think I may copy this but make it CCU nurese.

  4. Those are great! Especailly the L&D ones ;) Bless you for what you do!

  5. Love it Mama M! Sooooooooooooo true! I love your talkin shop posts!

  6. Those are all so true!! I'm not a nurse, but a lot of my friends are and it is funny how their stories and your one liners just go together!


  7. "~You can use your first and second fingers to measure things in centimeters." - Bahahaha love it!! Hope you're all recovered from the weekend, missed you girls Sat night!

  8. I admire nurses and because of that I admire you! I've always wanted to be a nurse growing up, but decided otherwise. I have had my share of hospital stays and couldn't have been more blessed with the nurses that took care of me. Thanks for the job you do!

  9. Oh, this was soooooo funny! I copied it and forwarded to my mother in law who is a nurse.... she'll think it's great! :-)

  10. I must be a nurse haha. Oh wait I am a NURSE.

  11. You can use your first and second fingers to measure things in centimeters.

    I always wondered how they did that, hence i have no kids

  12. I love these post; i think it is fun to hear what happens behind the scenes at a hospital. :)
    My best friend is an RN so I'll have to share this with her!

  13. The first part of this post- the reg nurse sounds a lot like me although I am not a nurse! Ha!!

    But thank god people want to be L&D nurses. It has to be tough! It sounds like an awesome job- minus the poop wiping but hey I am sure you get use to that just like you got use to it after your first kid, but what happens when something goes wrong. I couldn't handle it. Not with mothers and their babies. Bless you!

  14. My roomie after college was a nurse and I always was shocked that she had gone all day without voiding her poor little bladder! I think it's funny that you can talk about gross stuff at the table, but you get to grossed out taking our the trash! :)

  15. This is great/fun give me much to look forward to since I just started schooling to be a nurse!

  16. I can't even stop laughing at the measuring cm with your fingers!

  17. I loved it! I actually posted about the same thing on my blog today and linked it back to your's! This would be a great blog carnival to do!!

  18. My worst fear of pregnancy was pooping on the table. It just seems so wrong to be in such a compromising position to begin with, and then have to add insult to injury by crapping yourself.

  19. Hey Mama M.! I gave you a blog award! You can see it here:


  20. You are so cute and I love your blog!

    I am a wanna be nurse, so I'm jealous :-)


  21. You might be a nurse if you suddenly realize that you haven't eaten or drinken since you woke up, and now it's 7pm. You ask your co-worker to beef you up with some D5W via IV before you go home so you don't crash your car due to hypoglycemia. Ok, I've never actually asked my co-worker to beef me up but I have gone longer than 12 hours without eating and drinking!

    I'm a pediatric nurse mommy who doesn't take her kids in unless they are near death. I've got proof on my blog when I talked about Tottie spending two days in the hospital!


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