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Torture Shopping

So...I've got 5 kiddos. Didja know that?! ;)

And, my first 4 children were laid back, go with the flow, happy go lucky children.

Then came she:

And, she messed up our record. This girl is a "her way or the highway" kinda girl...and she let's you know it!

Here's my issue. I'm really not quite sure how I'm going to reconcile this, so help me if you can.

I love to shop.

She hates to shop.

And, therein lies our problem.

It's painful. For both of us.

No, no...scratch that. It's painful for anyone within one square city her ear splitting scream reaches that far.

Just ask the poor, terrified teenagers working at the mall. Ahem...ah...more specifically at my new favorite store, aerie.

We walked in...jammie pants were calling my name...when my sweet, adorable, cherubic little numkins of a love munchkin let out a scream that nearly broke the windows...and certainly broke some eardrums.

I was afraid I was gonna get I pretended she wasn't mine...kidding!! Kidding...but the thought crossed my mind., the babe screams, and the young cashiers slowly turned their horror stricken faces toward me...I'm afraid my baby girl ruined them for life.

I'm quite certain they've sworn off babies...FOREVER.

And ever.


I'm not sure what got her to quiet subconscious blocks these horrible memories for the well being of my psyche. But, we walked from the front of the store to the back (weeellll...hello, sweet jammie pants), and I met the eyes of an "older" mother (and by that, I mean a "been there done that" mother...).

She gently smiled at me, a knowing, wise gaze (coulda had some pity in there too, I'm not entirely sure...), and said something to the effect of "It'll get better".

Again...subconscious at's a little fuzzy.

I said, "why, are you gonna take her for me?"


I love my girl. More than anything.

I just don't love her scream. Or like her particularly much when she acts like a nincompoop in public (weird, aside by me...nincompoop doesn't get picked up by spellcheck?! Sorry...ADD kickin' in...).

But, love her I do.

Ear splitting scream and all.

But, I'm pretty sure the evil Kohl's girl didn't like her. Or love her...considering the daggers she was shooting at her.

Geepers Lou! If looks could kill...that Kohl's girl would be dead. By my daggers.

Nobody looks at my Baby like that.


The sweet, adorable, cherubic little numkins of a love munchkin that she is.


  1. No tips here.. I am one of those "sweet young mothers" you talk about. Only one little she devil and I cant figure out how to tame her most

    Good luck!! Fill me in if you find something that works

  2. Give her candy!! That's my tip..:-)

  3. I got nothing...sorry!! My nephew hates shopping though, and I know my sister in law sets up a deal before they even leave the house "if you behave you can..."

    He has gotten better.

  4. I have one of those "her way or the highway" little girls, she's is just finally growing out of's a good thing she's adorable. LOL

  5. your record is pretty good...1 out of 5 ain't bad!

  6. Oh yes. My lil man has been good birth control for many a grocery store and target worker. When he wants to shop he's great when he is done, EVERYBODY in the vacinity knows it and damn if I think I am gonna shop on. Did alot of online shopping this year for christmas, wonder why?

  7. What a sweet little face! I can't say I have ever experienced screaming like you described, but when we have a meltdown (or showdown...whichever you prefer) in our house, or out and about, I try to distract. "I bet you can't make me laugh." Then I put on my silliest, sad face. Or I say, "Ready, Set, GO!!!!!" (Only works if you're outside. Just used this one yesterday :) !!) Doesn't work all the time, but it does save some of my sanity!

  8. BTDT, and it totally sucks. I don't have any good advice for you really...just a few tips, not sure if they are feasible for you...
    *Get a babysitter so she can stay home when you have the desire to shop.
    *Take your husband with you shopping (I'm sure he'll love that idea) and if little one becomes unruly he can take her out to the car to chill out.
    *If all else fails, online shop...totally not as fun, but will do in emergancies.

  9. How old is she?

    My son went through a phase from about 15 months to 27 months where he would SCREAM bloody murder anywhere away from home. But we couldn't live in a bubble and not every place had a drive thru, so we just bumbled through it, praying that it would get better.

    Come to find out that my son had severe sensory issues (and was later diagnosed with autism) and being around crowds with florescent lights REALLY set him off. But at that point in time, he couldn't verbalize how bad he felt by those things.

    I am in no way, shape, or form, suggesting that your little one has developmental issues. However, I learned from my experience to try to get to the root of the problem and try to figure out WHY she doesn't like shopping :)

    And hopefully it is just a phase that will pass quickly!

  10. She's so adorable, but I know exactly what you mean! Most days I just cross my fingers and pray for the best. Some days Gracie (19 months) is PERFECT when we're out, and then we've had moments that were quite the opposite...I've actually had to leave a store, go back to the car to take a deep breath (and let Gracie get it together too), then try again. Luckily, at most places I shop, there are random things I can grab off of the shelves to hand to her that hold her attention. :)

  11. She should hook up with my son. he is so embarrassing in public. I try not to go anywhere at all during the day which wont work when the hubster deploys =0(

  12. You know, I think it was really good for the teenage cashiers...I'm always willing to use my screaming children as birth control for others. :) Hope the phase passes soon for ya Mama, someday she will LOVE shopping and life will be good! :)

  13. Well, I don't have any advice because I only have a 13 month old, so I have reached that stage yet. :) Not looking forward to it, though.

    Oh, and nincompoop is an actual word (a silly, foolish or stupid person) and you actually spelled it right! :)

  14. I am a feed the kids the whole mall trip kinda mom but I know that always doesn't work either. I am sorry you are going through this. **knock on wood** both my kids are very good shoppers! Did you start her young enough?!! Ha!

  15. She's beautiful! And, sigh, I used to be one of Those People. You know, the people who are thinking (or grumbling to the other one of Those People who is standing next to them), "Oh my gosh why can't she get her kid to shut up already???"

    And then I had kids.

    And now I understand.

  16. You said Mestray? Thought so.

    Sounds like if the two were in a room together, we'd be in for a brawl of epic proportions!

    My little bro and sis swore off S.E.X. after I stayed with my mom when Mestray was 4wks old...with colic. They've never been so glad to see me go!

  17. Wish I had some answers, but my daughter is every bit as "her way or the highway" as yours. When you figure it out, please pass some wisdom this way.

  18. I have absolutely no advice, since I was soooo lucky and did not have that problem with any of my 3 kiddos. She sure is cute!!

  19. Do you take lots of snacks or toys? I don't have much advice here! Good luck, hopefully she will outgrow it and you will look back to these days with a smile..

    Just wait until she is 16 and only wanting to wear black and you are trying to buy a cute pink cardigan for her first day back to school, and she gives you a look like "Mom you are an idiot." Then you will wish for the screaming baby again!

  20. Do you take lots of snacks or toys? I don't have much advice here! Good luck, hopefully she will outgrow it and you will look back to these days with a smile..

    Just wait until she is 16 and only wanting to wear black and you are trying to buy a cute pink cardigan for her first day back to school, and she gives you a look like "Mom you are an idiot." Then you will wish for the screaming baby again!

  21. I wish I had some great advice for you, but my kids were never screamers at any age. I'm sure she'll out grow it, maybe, if not sooner or later she'll be old enough to stay home all by her lonesome.

  22. oh little girls!! good luck to you on your next shopping adventure!!

  23. Don't you just hate the dirty looks you get when your child is throwing a tantrum? I hate it, but I'm not going to stay home the rest of my life in fear my kiddo might throw a fit. Your right to be mad at the evil kohls girl for looking at your sweetie that way! Wish I had some advice but my kiddos do the same.

  24. I know how you face gets all red and I am so embarrassed when the babe starts screaming/crying in public. I'm sure its not the fact that she doesn't like shopping, but that she might be bored...does she have anything on her stroller to keep her occupied?


  25. I once walked out on a badly needed cart full of groceries behind because of Miss J's piercing screams. Ok, it was partially my fault because I had kept her out much past her regular nap time, none the less, the other shoppers didn't know that. In a small community I'm certain we were tagged from then on. I might just be paranoid, but I could have sworn they would announce a sort of "code red" over the loud speaker when we entered the store after that.

  26. I go home somedays and insist that my kids were the poster-children for birth control, so I get it! I usually get the "been there, done that" mother that thinks it's funny. Then I know that she has blocked those memories because she would NEVER laugh at me if she remembered these days!

  27. My fourth is our rule breaker. She will be four soon and she lives up to her name, Patience. Yes I have to have plenty. I love peace and calm! I use it regularly. You should try it.


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