Okay...so, I have this awesome husband...not sure if I've mentioned him before or not.
Mr. Wonderful?
Yup, him.
He truly is an awesome guy. Loving, patient, kind, thoughtful...ahem...thoughtful?!
My man is not known for his gift giving abilities...he is a spur of the moment, run to the grocery store and pick up a houseplant and a bag of Skittles, kind of a gift giver.
He's an amazing man (just ah...lacking in sweet gift giving skillz...) and sometimes I pinch myself 'cuz I think maybe, just maybe...he's a little bit too perfect.
But, don't be alarmed my friends!! No...no...no need to be alarmed! I am going to tell you a little story about how the Mister joined the ranks of mere mortals like the rest of us!
(Shhhhh...don't tell him, but I'm actually a teeny tiny bit relieved to know that he's got a little bit of normal in him!)
On my Baby Girl's birthday, a delivery truck shows up.
"Oooooooh!!! Goody, goody, goody!!! A gift for ME!!!" I thought excitedly.
I rush out, snatch the package from the delivery dude's hands and scurry back inside. (The rush, snatch, scurry...more because it is cold here...not because I couldn't wait to get inside with that big box. Well...okay, maybe it was a little of both.)
I set it on the counter and read the label:
Baby Girl
C/O Mama M. and Mr. Wonderful
1234 Somewhere St.
Cold as Heck, MN
"Dang...not for me." I thought "It's for you, *mutters under breath* birthday stealer"...and I help her tear into her package.
Not 5 minutes later...there's a delivery truck again!!! "Whooo-hoooo!!!"
Rush, snatch, scurry all over again.
This time...it is for me!! It's for me! It's for ME!!!
However...I'm totally intrigued...and a little afraid of the box:
"Berries?"...weird gift, but I'm goin' with it...it is the dead of winter here in frigid MinneSOOOOta, fresh fruit is hard to come by.
"Who the heck woulda sent me berries?" I keep thinking over and over...all the whilst snapping photos, thinking I'm on to something great.
I finally decide to open the box...I just can not stand the suspense any longer.
Ooooh, look! A box within a box!
Now I'm worried...is this gonna be one of those stupid jokes where I just keep opening box after box after box?!
Hold on...not stupid...usually there is something sparkly and shiny and worth a lot of money at the end of those boxes!!
And, look how cute this package is!!
However...now I'm even more worried. You see...there's a certain smell emanating from this box...
Wait...wait...I need to digress a bit here.
Let me tell you a little something about me first.
There are two things I hate in life:
1. Mushrooms *gag*
2. Chocolate and fruit together *gag barf*
and
3. Carnations
Oops...that was three things. Sorry, bear with me.
So, continuing on...
I finish opening the box, and this is what I find:
I'm nearly in tears. (For one, 'cuz my gag reflex is acting up and I'm trying not to barf, and for two...'cuz I'm pissed!)
I'm totally reacting like a girl.
I'm totally reacting like a spoiled brat girl.
I'm hurt. I'm sad.
I can't believe he got me CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES!!
I mean, for Pete's sake!!! Doesn't he know me at all?!?!?!?!
Fighting tears...I'm trying to pull myself together. I'm giving myself the whole, "It's the thought that counts" speech.
I'm thinking..."Yo, spoiled brat self!! Do you have any idea how many women would be crying tears of joy and love over this gift? Pull it together! Don't act so stinkin' spoiled!!!"
So, I pulled it together. I send a text to my beloved, stating simply, "Got your gift! Thanks!"...'cuz I knew I wasn't a good enough actress to pull of a verbal, "Gee, thanks hon!! It's just what I've always wanted!!!"
He called me right away...on. the. phone.
I couldn't hide it. My voice was cracking.
A tear might have even squeezed out (for dang sake! Why do I hafta respond like such a spoiled girl?!)
He was onto me. I confessed...I blurted out, "Do you even know who I am?!!!" (Why, hello dramatic emotional response...)
He confesses, his "gut told him it was a bad gift"...I replied, "well, you're supposed to listen to your gut, dontchaknow?!!!"
All this for a grand life lesson.
I have truly learned the value of heartfelt card.
Never again will I bemoan the simple gesture of a well thought out card.
Talk about humble pie.
Hmmmm...think I can make Humble Pie with chocolate covered strawberries?
Heck...at least he didn't send carnations, too!
Hi, Mama M. I see that you stopped over at my blog.
ReplyDeleteSo, do you read the Pioneer Woman every day?
I'm a huge fan.
Sorry about the strawberries. :)
My husband once got me a riding lawn mower for Christmas.
All my friends acted like, good grief, no romance.
But I said, "No way, I wanted one desperately and he's very clearly said I need to just keep pushing the mower. So this is a HUGE gift."
So he knows me.
Here's something cool. I've got four daughters, all grown now. Since they've grown up, I've started getting FANTASTIC presents. They get the ideas and their clueless daddy funds them. I'm really cleaning up lately. So hang in there. :)
Oh.my.goodness- what I wouldn't give for some good ol' chocolate dipped strawberries!!
ReplyDeleteDON'T THROW UP ON YOUR KEYBOARD!!
I understand though, my husband drove to the coast on Christmas Eve a few years ago to bring home a USED (and older than the one we had) DISHWASHER for my Christmas present.
Yep, your man did better than mine did.
Have a great day Mama M.!!
Sorry about the strawberries! You can always send them to me... ;)
ReplyDeletesorry! :( posted at BF. but wanted to say i still love the photos!!
ReplyDeleteAwww, don't ya just hate when they do that?! So sorry chick:(
ReplyDeleteAlso, you're response was dead-on to how I would have reacted!! And I think it makes you madder because you know how badly you're reacting. The madder I get, the more I cry. It's a vicious curcle really.
I hope you're birthday was wonderful other than that:)
I'm drooling on my keyboard. Wanna send those bad boys to Tennessee?
ReplyDeleteI feel ya, though. My husband thinks electronics are the only way to go when it comes to gift giving. Which WOULD be nice and all except he usually gets me something that HE wants and then ends up taking possession of it. Gotta love 'em! ;)
but they were very pretty. right? just don't smell 'em!
ReplyDeleteOh Girl I'm soo sorry..I have a similar situation.
ReplyDeleteBefore we got married the hubs and I decided that we would not exchange gifts to each other for our wedding. Conversation over I moved on to planning all the other details of our wedding because I'm a control freak.
The night of our wedding we are at our hotel and he gets this sly grin and pulls out this beautifully wrapped package. I feel like a heel I have NADA for him. After apologizing he says it's fine he didn't expect anything I had done such a fabulous job planning our wedding and he had a great day and was glad to share this present with me. I carefully unwrapped the present to discover a beautiful blue velvet box. Oh!! it's jewelry, WOO HOO...
I do not like pearls, never have, have made it VERY VERY known that I do not like pearls. A girlfriend of mine says every girl should have a set of pearls and every time I heard it I said, "Forget the pearls get me diamonds."
Guess what was in the box? Yeah, a pearl necklace. So there I am on my wedding night near tears because he spent money on pearls I will rarely if ever wear & trying to pretend that I like them because after all we are newly married.
My ex husband got me a welding machine once and told me it was for the great good of the house hold.... I love chocolate covered fruit ...sorry you hate it and I bet there is a great make up gift coming for valentines day =)
ReplyDeleteOh please please please wrap them up and send them my way! My most favorite thing is friut and chocolate - totally to die for!
ReplyDeleteSorry you got a crumy gift though, it's happend to the best of us. I had a boyfriend give me a book that was basically "repent or die" kind of book. How romantic!
I am with you, I love fruit and I love chocolate, but do not mix them together. I *hate* the smell of carnations. But mushrooms, well I have to admit that I *love* them.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the gift, but it gives new meaning to 'it's the thought that counts'. Men!
great post! i would totally be the same way. for our first christmas together i received hunting clothes and a bottle of doe pee. i cried.
ReplyDeletenow, i'm grateful to get a card and chocolate from the grocery store..i remind myself it could be a whole lot worse!
oh, and you can send the choc. covered strawberries to me if you'd like! :)
I'm not a huge fan of chocolate covered strawberries, but those do look yummy!
ReplyDeleteAn old boyfriend once bought me a little candle lamp for Christmas that I swear he got at the dollar store. Needless to say, he's not the man I married. :)
Here's hoping Mr. does better next time!
I do love chocolate covered strawberries but I agree Carnations are retched!
ReplyDeleteGood story. :-) Your are so funny! Your pics are really good, by the way.
ReplyDeleteYea, you're right, it is the thought that counts. In my marriage, my husband is the one that is good at gifts and I'm the bad one.... hehe :)
And, I NEVER heard of someone not liking the smell of chocolate and fruit together! :)
Me and G will eat them! YUM!
ReplyDeleteYou know what I got spur of the moment on my anniversary?
A glue gun.
Yup. True story.
I'd have killed for a card and bag of skittles!
I've hear humble pie isn't bad, tho!
Ack! Don't you hate that? Once my husband got me exercise clothes. Hahaha! He was horrified to find out that exercise clothes are NEVER a good gift to get a woman. Happy late birthday.
ReplyDeletethat is kinda funny though...and sad all at the same time.
ReplyDeletecan i have your delicious looking chocolate covered strawberries?!! :)
and at least he remembered your birthday, some husbands don't even get that right!
I'd say it's the thought that counts but even his gut told him it wasn't a good idea! Sorry it wasn't what you wanted.
ReplyDeleteVery funny!! haha. You can send them MY way...but only the dark choc ones!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love choc covered strawberries, but am with you on the carnations.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Hope he learns to trust his gut...although he sounds like a great guy, so I'm sure you're okay with this *one* little flaw. Right? ;)
Hope you had a great birthday!
I'm so glad you talked to him about it. A repeat offender would crush you. :D Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHi I just found your blog.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happened to me on my birthday. My hubby got me roses. I was so excited to get them. When I open the beautiful box I saw pinkish peach roses. UGH! The only roses I like are purple. He knows this!!! I couldn't hide my disappointment either. He said they looked purple-ish on the computer. Boy must be color blind!!!
I am sorry but those chocolate covered strawberries look heavenly!
ReplyDeleteI get what you are saying though, even though they look like the perfect present...he should have followed his gut. I bet he is never forget you don't like chocolate covered fruit again lol.
Oh my! (sorry about that... Now, must you still be so stinking funny? Cuz I do sympathize with you.. as I am laughing here!)
ReplyDeleteAnd also loved reading all the comments to this post!
Blessings & Aloha!
Oh my goodness! They look positively yummy!! It's a shame you hate them so much! Hopefully Mr. Wonderful will pull something together before Valentine's Day for you! =)
ReplyDeleteYou can send those fabulous strawberries to Mississippi! I'll gladly take them off your hands. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain...I got a cricut for my birthday so I thought getting me Christmas presents would be easy... I told him "any" cartridge would be fine... he got me a "Disney" princesses cartridge... I didn't even know they had such a thing... Our daughters are 14 & 17 and never really did the disney princess thing... what was he thnking?...I finally asked and he fessed up it was the "cheapest" one he found at Wal-mart the day before Christmas... Ahhhh...I feel the love...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the wonderful hubby I have no clue what I'm doing but trying to be loving present! Been there, done that!
ReplyDeleteSo, who do you know that LOVES chocolate covered strawberries? You can give them a PERSONAL GIFT picked out JUST FOR THEM! lol
ReplyDeleteOh - I know!
ME!
I wish I got something sweet like that.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Humble Pie~
ReplyDeleteI am married to Mr. McGenius... for a smart genius sort of fella... he too ... ahem... lacks a certain gift giving quality! ;) I know how you feel. But on the other hand ~ Mr. McGenius is also very very funny ... aka Mr. McFunny. He melts my heart regularly despite this lack of gift giving ability! So, why do I still act like a spoiled brat too??! Sincerely, Ms.Stinker
Jenn~
PS I LOVE visiting your blog! Thank you for sharing your clever witty funny thoughts with us!!
I'm so mad at you right now for posting pictures of those yummy strawberries that I CAN'T GET TO! So cruel.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, you can send those over my way and they will be gone within an hour;)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, a few years ago my husband was in the Navy and was deployed on my birthday...so I was sitting at home, nursing my 2-month-old daughter....(who, by the way, had been having bloody stools from everything and anything I ate- so I was staying away from dairy, soy, nuts, and you get the idea).
So...the doorbell rings. My husband had arranged ahead of time to have imported Italian CHOCOLATE with NUTS delivered to me for my birthday. Like, boxes and boxes of it.
Only I couldn't eat it, and I couldn't even talk to him and cry about my situation. No husband, and not able to eat my chocolate. LOL.
So, although those chocolate strawberries look amazing to me, I totally feel your pain.
Happy Friday!
Love,
C:)
Poor Mr. Wonderful...but it is the thought that counts...right?!?!
ReplyDelete~WM
I clicked over from your blog today. You have my address. Mr. Wonderful can send me these anytime he wants. :) I'm a fan of anything with chocolate! ...but I totally get your response - been there, done that.
ReplyDelete