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Not Me! Monday!

It's Monday. Monday's aren't my fave, but Not Me! Monday sure makes it better! It's kinda like a band-aid, you know?! Thanks, MckMama, for this little slice of therapy!!

I am not a hypocondriatic alarmist (hmmm...I think I just made a new word!). So, when I got my Flu Mist on Wed, started sneezing Thursday and wheezing Friday night, I certainly was not convinced I was going to die! I did not tuck myself in with a pile of Luden's, a wad of used Kleenex, a clean pair of undies (you know, just in case, I kicked the bucket), and a quick prayer..."Please God, do not let me die a horrible, Flu Mist induced death. Please?". Turns out, I woke up alive in the morning! Phew!! Not that, you know, I would really worry...Not Me!!

I did not have a tiny little moment of panic, when disciplining my eldest child, I realized I was looking up at him. Yes, it is true. This baby of mine, is now taller than his mama, and that would not send me into palpitations and cold sweats. Sheesh, I've always said, "I'll gladly take the battles when the kiddos are small enough to physically pick up and remove from the situation." Well, friends, I can't pick him up anymore...and that does not make me feel like one old mama. No way, Not Me!

I am not on my second day without a shower. I am totally, completely, always on top of my hygiene. A few minutes of extra sleep is not totally worth going an extra day without a shower. Oh, no...I care waaayyyy too much about this "Hot Mom Hair" of mine than to just leave it a greasy mess...Not Me!

I have not just jumped on the MinneSOOOOTA Twins bandwagon...and certainly not because of Joe Mauer being so dreamy such an awesome baseball player! Heavens, no!! I enjoy baseball for the sport, and nothing else!

I did not have a major case of baby fever in church the other day. We did not sit behind a young father, his mother and his newish baby. This baby was not so cute, that I very nearly leaned over and asked if I could hold him. I sooooo wanted to snuggle him and smell his sweet head and kiss his yummy cheeks. NO!!! I do not want another baby!! (Really, I don't...oh, but I do...NO, I don't...ugh, but I kinda do...bah!)

I was not really proud of Josh Kelly and Katherine Heigl (like they were waiting for my approval) for adopting a special needs baby. I was not totally impressed with how they chose not to adhere to Hollywood's golden rule of perfection! I am not obsessed with celebrity gossip, oh no!! I have much more important things to do with my time, than await the Friday (Thursday if I'm lucky) arrival of People magazine!

Happy Monday, pals!! Hope it's a good week!


  1. Hilarious!! You're my kind of momma! My husband is a "hypocondriatic alarmist" :)

  2. looking up at your son must've been a scary moment i'm sure. but you must be proud!!
    and baby envy??? no way.. i mean, can you handle another crooked halo?? ;)

    great post, friend!!

  3. Glad you made it through the flu mist :) I totally hear ya on the baby envy... I had it yesterday at my nephews birthday party. Two babies there, and I wanted to take them both home!

  4. Totally laughed at the "clean undies" in case you didn't make it!

    I bet your eldest can pick YOU up now! :)

    I just love Katherine Heigl...mostly due to her role on Grey's, but this story really makes me love her!

  5. Ha! Great post! I'm sooo glad you enjoyed my story for Not Me!

  6. I loved the Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelly adoption story too!

    Visiting you from SITS...have a great day!

  7. well welcome to the SITShood!! Thanks for stopping by! I sure do feel like a queen today!!!

  8. So, I stopped in because I like loads of your posts on the MckMama forum and lo and behold, you're a ton of fun! I love your blog - I spent WAY too much time reading things (under the guise of "letting my wet kitchen floor dry"). I am very impressed with your Hot Mom Hair and dying to do something to my longer-than-shoulder-length-but-not-sure-how-long-because-it's-always-in-a-bun mom hair. You are truly an inspiration :-)

    And what do you call it when I'm an alarmist for my children's potential (imagined) maladies? Because I'm that.

  9. Funny story! Still need to get a flu shot. My 13 year old baby is now taller than me too, so I know how you feel. Kinda weird looking up. Glad I stopped by from SITS!

  10. Ha! The shower thing is totally me on weekends! Plus, I LOVE gossip mags!

  11. I can totally relate to not showering for a few days. And the baby fever..ha! I have a 9 month old and still have baby fever. Hubby? Not so much! LOL
    Loved your "not me's"!

  12. Hi...loved your post today. I too, as a mom and a nurse, totally hear you on the extra sleep, (hey, I didn't take a shower today either)...really like your blog. Made me laugh and boy I needed that tonight. Thanks.

  13. Great post...Your Joe Mauer comment made me laugh.


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