Belly Fat!

As you know, I moonlight as a labor and delivery nurse (I also dabble in Pediatrics and Lactation Consulting). I love being a part of a family's miracle, being there to care for them in such a wonderful (sometimes heartbreaking) experience...it truly is amazing. I also have some pretty amazing stories, as you can imagine! One that still brings me to hysterical tears of horror/humor giggle a little happened not all that long ago.

I had been put on call, as the unit was not very busy. I was enjoying my time off, doing a little shopping, a little me time, when I got a call from the charge nurse asking if I'd make my merry little way to the hospital...she thought, perhaps, they might be getting busy. I finished up what I was doing and hopped in my vehicle...I was nearing the hospital when I got another call. Basically, hurry up and get my slow moving adorable little butt to work...and FAST! Turns out someone was close to delivering.

At the hospital, I was quickly ushered into a room where a scared, non-English speaking patient was, very quickly, nearing the birth of her first baby. The only people in the room she could communicate with were her friends, who, for cultural reasons, were standing on the other side (i.e. not the patient side) of the curtain. This poor girl needed some support, so through sign language and touch, I was trying my best to reassure her!

Well, this baby was comin' fast and (yikes! Remember what it feels like to crown?) this mama needed something to grab hold of (apparently)! Well, remember me? I, who has 5 children? On the outside, as in fully clothed, I don't look so bad, you might even go so far as to say I look good...oh, but you are mistaken, my friend! You see, under these clothes, I have the belly of a woman who's had many children, and these many children have left me with, um, less than a Heidi Klum-ish belly. So, back to my laboring patient...she reaches out in her agony and grabs a handful of my belly fat. Uh, huh...a whole handful, folks! You might think this would hurt, however, I guess belly fat doesn't have much in the way of nerves...so she just ended up taking me by surprise...which was a language we both spoke! After I exclaimed, in utter shock and surprise, "She's got my belly fat!", she quickly let go, and instead grabbed the side rail of the bed, while I remained in horror at the condition of my "mama abs" and everyone in the room burst out into uncontrollable laughter (myself included!!)! Shortly thereafter, we had a lovely little baby, a worn out mama, and a mortified nurse, who promptly went out and bought new running shoes.