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Beware: The Sleeping Husband


There's something I haven't told you about Mr. Wonderful. Something, apart from all of his wonderfulness. Something, that may, perhaps, surprise you.

(Before I go on...please take note of his shirt. He's such a good sport! And...er...without sounding too Pioneer Womanish...how 'bout those forearms? *swoon*)

Continuing on...

He's kind of a wimp. No...No, WAIT!! I don't mean wussy, sissy, weak "wimpy" (not that, you know, there's anything wrong with wussy, sissy, weak wimps)...it's just that...well...he scares easily.

Easily is an understatement...and, acutally, not so much "scares" as "aaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh" startles.

And, there's something I haven't told you about me. You know, aside from my quirky, weird, wacky silliness.

I like to scare people. Nah...nope...scratch that. I like to scare Mr. Wonderful!

9 1/2 times out of 10, when he gets home from work, I'll hide behind the door and jump out with a big ol' "BOO"! His immediate reaction is to jump backwards, arms flung wide and let out a grunty gasping "UH!"

MY immediate reaction is to die.

From laughter.

In hysterics, doubled over, clutching my belly, laughing my butt off. (Side note...wouldn't it be nice if we actually could laugh our butts off? Or, more preferably, in my case, my saddlebags? I'd be scaring my husband every chance I got!)

Sleep, is an especially hysterical time to startle him. I wish I had a video camera...just so I could show you, in living color, how unbelievably funny he is!

I woke him last night for his time for Adoration, and it went something like this:

Me, whispering, "Hey, hon..." shaking him gently...

He, "HUH?! Wha'? HUH? HUH! Wha?" Looking around wildly with arms and hands all karate stylish (this is where I've learned to keep my distance...lest I want to be wacked by his flailing arms).

Me, grinning, "Ah..."

He, "WHA?! HUH??? HUH! Wha'? Wha?!" looking side to side...hands still karate style.

Me, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha!! *snort* Hahahaha!!!! Hee hee! HA! *snort snicker giggle* Ha ha! Um...Bwahaha! You need to...hahaha!! go to adoration. Bwahahaha!!!!"

He, "Okay."

And then he left.

Guess where I was waiting when he came home?

BOO!


Comments

  1. That is hilarious! Sadly, that would never work with my husband...but he manages to pull that stuff on me all the time! I've learned to walk down the stairs slowly, and peeking around the corner. LOL

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  2. apparently you've been watching a little too much Ellen :)

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  3. This sounds like me and my husband. I love scaring him! LOL

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  4. My hubby and I scare eachother too. Last night he waited until I was in the shower washing my face before he appeared. Couldn't yell at him b/c he had my daughter.

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  5. Lol, M.! This is so funny and I can totally see "Mr. Wonderful" reacting that way. Love the shirt, have not seen him wearing it. He is a good sport, btw. I may just have to get "Superman" a special shirt as well (they can wear them together).

    I think my blog is hating me today, I had major technical difficulties this morning. Ughhhh....

    Hope you have a great day : )

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  6. That is too funny! I love scaring my hubby too.

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  7. That's hilarious, and it makes me realize how much I need to lighten up. I'd probably be furious with my husband if he did that to me, and really, if I could just relax some, it would be pretty funny. Hee hee. Good for you! Glad you have fun!

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  8. That is too funny! Usually, it's my hubby doing it to me. Buggar.

    And yes, I totally know what adoration is.

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  9. HAHAHA!!!! I loved this post!

    Why?? Because it sounds just like me and my hubby.

    I am the one that likes to scare him. I love to sneak up on him and scare him.

    He does not sneak to well....his ankles creek, giving him away every time!!!

    Scare on my friend, scare on! :-)

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  10. LOL. So funny! I try to scare Mr. Man and all he does is shake his head at me and laugh. Thats it you've inspired me...one of these days I'll get that booger head!

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  11. I nearly died at work reading this. Of course, my job has decided to block all things wonderful, including your site so I only enjoyed it through the reader. But, I wanted to be sure to come back and let you know that you cracked me up.

    BOO!

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  12. I love that other people mess with there husbands. people laugh at how much fun DH and I have. Well honest I should say had. He got a good case of PTSD and lets just say everyone knows you do not touch dad when he is sleeping. Funny story he had never been in the hospital before and last year he got bit by a spider and ended up with 2 surgeries. I warned them how to wake him and they did not believe me. So the first time the nurse touched his arm to wake him he pulled her across the room. They thought it was funny because they had been warned. the next day we ALL laughed at the signs on his bed that said DO NOT TOUCH TO WAKE UP.

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  13. HAHA! Mine talks in his sleep. Not secrets or anything... nonsense. He talks about the most random crap! It's hilarious.

    Also, just want to give you a heads up... I am giving you the Sweet Blog Award! :0P You can see it here. I wanted to give you a big thank you for being my blog friend.
    http://goodmorninbeautiful.blogspot.com/2010/05/sweet-award-from-sweet-blogger.html

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your poor husband!!

    I am easily startled too. I went to bed earlier than Ian one night and when he came up, he tucked me in and leaned in to kiss me goodnight and I opened my eyes and screamed like he was some kind of intruder.

    Yeah. It was fun putting all three kids back to bed that night.

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  15. my hubby is the same except he then holds his heart like he is gonna keel over. Doesn't stop me from scaring him. Heck most of the time I am not even trying and he thinks I have snuck up on him.
    Mean mean women we are. LOL

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  16. That is just priceless.. and ya know what.. my kids have perfected this as my own Mr. Wonderful has taught them well. Its a game.. daily... how many times can we scare each other but most of all, MOM.

    hehe... they are so lucky I love them.

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  17. A the huan race who dares to decay anyone hour of one of these days has not discovered the value of life.

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    ReplyDelete
  18. We should be meticulous and particular in all the intelligence we give. We should be strikingly careful in giving advice that we would not think of following ourselves. Most of all, we ought to evade giving counsel which we don't mind when it damages those who woo assume us at our word.

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