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I know...TWO posts from me on a Friday? Unheard of!

If you've come looking for Five Question Friday, and you don't really want to listen to my pity party, just click the link and you'll be whisked away to footloose and fancy free fun!

I'm writing this because, through this platform, I've discovered that writing is therapy for me. It helps me to clear my mind and get all my thoughts out and declutter my brain. So, here goes...

2011 can stop sucking at any minute. YOU HEAR THAT 2011?!!! STOP SUCKING!!

With tomorrow's benefit looming, I think I'm feeling a little raw with knowing the reason why we are even attending a benefit. Knowing that, most days, Verd's death still doesn't feel real. Knowing that my husband and his siblings and parents are still struggling...knowing that tomorrow is, likely, going to be hard.

2011 has been one thing after another, and while all the "other" stuff is piddly compared to losing Verd, it still sucks. And it's stressful. We lost Verd, I lost my co-worker, Belle and her appendicitis, and now my grandpa.

Then, today, I found out news about my grandpa that, while not really unexpected, is still hard to hear. He was transferred to a nursing home on Wednesday...and I found out, today, that he will probably never go back home. To his lake home, that is. Barring any miracles, the only "home" he will get to leave to, is his eternal home.

It so hard seeing my grandpa, who was once a grumpy old curmudgeon, who loved to tease kids and give them heck constantly, dependent. So unlike the grandpa I know.

I'm struggling today...I'm also PMS'ing, so it could be part of why I feel like an emotional wreck, but this sucks.

Okay. I'm done now. I think.

Onto regularly scheduled programming...

UPDATE: The Mr. and I went to see my grandpa tonight. After talking with my mom, who had been up to see him earlier today, I had this nagging feeling I just needed to see him. I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

He is struggling. He is now just getting "comfort cares". He is very much worse off than when I last saw him. Please pray for his comfort...I don't think he has much time left here on earth. Thank you for your kind words and prayers...


  1. You guys have been through so much this year. I will be lifting you up in prayer.

  2. I am so sorry for your tough year. I can relate to one thing after another happening. Please know you are in my positive thoughts. I wish you peace for the benefit this weekend.

  3. Dude. That sucks.

    I think today is a wierd rough day for a lot of people. A ton of my fb friends are talking about being in a "funk." And we really haven't had many problems like you have had!

    Chin up, eyes up, heart up lady!

    "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

  4. I am right there with you. the only good thing so far this year is the birth of Baby Diva. Grandpa fell 2 weeks after her birth, the ac went out in my car, hubbys truck needed major repairs, Grandpa then died 4 weeks after he fell, we owed on our taxes, and the dog needs to go to the vet (again), and relatives are making life hell about grandpa's things (not that they spent two minutes with him in the last year). I just don't know what to do sometimes.
    Hope the benefit goes well.

  5. I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. I lost mine 2 years ago, and sometimes it still feels like I saw him yesterday.

    I hope your 2011 gets better, because no one needs a sucky year.


  6. Agreed. 2011 has thus far blown the big one!

  7. I agree, let's wake up tomorow and call it January first again. Praying for tomorrow, praying for the whole family

  8. It's been a tough year for you guys for sure. Praying for some sunshine for you all soon.

  9. "When all your troubles weigh heavily on your shoulders,
    remember that beneath the burden you can stand tall,
    because you are never given more than you can handle...
    and you are stronger than you think"

    Hoping everything goes well - Stay strong

  10. I am so sorry that you are having such a rough year. :(

  11. For it to only be May, you and your family have certainly been through a lot this year... I'm praying that things improve for you all in the coming months, even though I know there is so much lingering pain.

  12. Praying hard for you and your family! And thanks for always being raw and real with us. Although I hate that things have been so bad for ya'll. It is nice to know their are people out there who can be honest and not hide behind a screen.

  13. I am so terribly sorry for your loss and the hardships and health problems your family is going through. I will pray for you and your family.

  14. Oh hunny! I'm so sorry! Praying for you and your family and giving you a big Ol cyber hug!

  15. :( Yes, this year has been horribly rough for you and your family! May it only make you all stronger and bring you closer together.

    Praying for your grandpa- it's a blessing that you were able to see him. My grandma- one of my best friends- passed away almost 6 years ago, and I lived across the country at the time. I will never forget the last time I spoke to her on the phone when she was in the nursing home, and I wished with all my hear that I could have been there with her.

  16. I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandpa's ailing health! He, you and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers!...

    ((((((HUGS)))))) xxx


  17. So sorry to hear about your grandpa. Seeing loved ones in a nursing home, watching them decline is so heart breaking.
    Hold on to all those wonderful memories you have of him. He is still that person you remember, only he just can't show it so much anymore.
    At least that is what I always thought when I saw my grandparents in nursing homes.
    You and your family have been through so much this year, I will pray the rest of the year gets better.

  18. I am so sorry. It does all seem to be more than we can possibly handle at times and Mother's Day always seems the worse. I never knew my grandfathers but had to see my grandmothers both go from independent strong women to totally dependent and a shell of their former selves. My father in law is being sent to Hospice on Monday and in the midst of it all, as mothers, we seem to have to put on the brave face and push through. Despite it all, let's be thankful for what time we have been given and not take a second for granted. Praying you have a blessed Mother's Day.


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