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Not in my groove...

Today and tomorrow aren't going to be much fun. We have my grandpa's wake today and his funeral tomorrow.

I am in a funk. Feeling down and out, tired, moody, emotional. Still grateful that grandpa isn't suffering, but sad all the same. And guilty.

Guilty because I keep thinking "this is nothing like when we lost Verd". Is that bad? I mean, this is my grandpa we're talking about...but he lived a good, long life. I feel like his death has resurfaced my emotions about my brother-in-law.

I feel like I could sleep 27 hours a day, and it STILL wouldn't be enough.

Thank goodness I have my kiddos and my husband...who provide me with sunshine and distraction!

I know that "this too, shall pass"...but when?


  1. Losing your grandpa isn't anything like losing Verd. Verd was taken from you far sooner and faster than he ever should have been, while, like you already said, your grandpa had lived a long full life and was suffering. I felt guilty for awhile after my grandmother passed because the majority of my emotions were relieved. She had been deteriorating pretty quickly in a nursing home for 7 months and at the end really wasn't herself. As much as I would (and still do) miss her, it was time for her to move on.

  2. M- get yourself in the Word. Sit down, pray and crack the Bible.

    His grace is sufficient for you. Keep saying it until you feel the calm only He can provide.

    Praying for you, friend.

  3. I was looking for new blogs to read and I came across yours...I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss...I am now following you...please swing by and say hi, when you are feeling more like yourself.

  4. Instead of morning his passing, 'try' to celebrate his and your brother-in-laws life. Easier said than done, I know. I'll be praying for you.

  5. Just saw this on a friend's fb status - she read it in her devotions today. Reminds me of the walk I'm on right now, but also for you.

    Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life. These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to bring good out of them. View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on Me.

    When you start to feel stressed, let those feelings alert you to your need for Me. Thus, your needs become doorways to deep dependence on Me and increasing intimacy between us. Although self-sufficiency is acclaimed in the world, reliance on Me produces abundant living in My kingdom. Thank Me for the difficulties in your life, since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance.

  6. Oh, I am so sorry for your loss...but don't feel that your grief over one loss has to be the same/worse than/easier than another. Grief is a tricky beast, and in my experience no two people (or situations) are exactly the same.

    Hugs to you.

  7. I'm so sorry about your grandpa. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

  8. I'm sorry for your loss! Your family is in my thoughts & prayers!!

  9. Saying a prayer for you right now.
    Grief is hard to go through. And to have two loved ones pass close together makes it even harder.

    We had several losses close together and it was really hard...but God got us through...and continues to comfort our hearts and to walk beside us each day. He will do the same for you as you lean on him.

    Sending {{Hugs}} and Praying for you!

    Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

  10. I'm so sorry for your loss! You and your family are in my prayers!

  11. Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure in time you will be able to get over the sorrow and move on with the wonderful memories that you have about your grandpa.

  12. I'm sorta new to your blog, but after reading todays thought I would comment. My grandfather passed away a few years back, now I was super close with him but he was suffering so all though I was upset it was nothing compared to losing my best friend years later. I became bitter and still to this day I can't explain exactly how I feel about that. She was young and young people aren't supposed to die. My grandfather had lived a productive life, he helped many people along the way, it was his time, but my best friend, I honestly think her best years were ahead of her, but we will never know. I don't know when things will get easier because I'm still struggling myself. We just pray and take it day by day.

  13. Oh how i wish I could be there for you, I am so sorry, I think you need a do over for this year

  14. Over the years, I've lost all of my great-grandparents, parents, and sister, and I've been there for others who've faced similar losses. I've learned that there is no "right way" to grieve... or, to be more accurate, there is no "wrong way" to grieve. Your emotions will likely be all over the place in the days to come. And that's OK. It's just part of the process.

    If you're interested, read this post, which I wrote for my dad's memorial service after his death on 2/22/11:


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