Something hit me tonight.
Weary, emotionally spent and physically exhausted after dealing with a strong-willed two year old and the rest of my gaggle, I was so ready for bedtime to come.
I needed bedtime like a heroine addict needs their next hit. I could feel it in my bones...bedtime had to come.
And it did. Just like it does every night...but something different happened tonight.
Tonight, as I was getting my Baby Girl ready to tuck in, I asked if she wanted to rock-a-bye. To my surprise (and delight) she said yes.
Baby Girl is NOT a snuggler...she's getting better, but she's not what I'd call a "warm fuzzy". As she lay against my chest and I rocked her by the light of the moon...I realized that this lap time is too short.
I could hear The Pal bustling around after baseball and I thought about how truly short lived our time is to have our children on our laps.
Developmentally, of course...but even more so, logistically. I look at my bigger kids and think how much I'd love to bundle them onto my lap for a snuggle...and sometimes I still do (well, not the Pal...he doesn't like lap time too much anymore! ;)...but it's different.
A baby fits so well in your arms, a two year old fits so well on your lap, a four year old can still swing it, but by six it gets a little awkward...legs are too long, bodies too big. So...logistically thinking...I've got about two(ish) years of "real" lap time left.
That's it. (Oh, great...here come the tears...)
I hope and I pray that I will be the mom that my kids feel comfortable sitting on my lap until they are 80. Scratch that...make it until they're 60...I think I'd be too frail to have them sit on me if I were pushing 100.
Tonight...I soaked up my lap time. As much as I was looking forward to "me" time, I took those extra minutes and I loved up my baby...and when she told me "I wanna go nigh-nigh" I reluctantly laid her in her bed.
Imagine my joy when she looked up at me with those baby blues and said, " 'nuggle me, Mama?"
And guess what I did?
I 'nuggled that babe to sleep. Then I dried my tears, and kissed her soft cheeks goodnight.