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The Mall Hater:

I just had a revelation. You know how they say God has a plan for everyone?

Yeah...well...I think I figured out what His plan is for our baby girl.

We went shopping yesterday, and I'm quite certain that my (*plasters fake smile on face*) adorable, wonderful, (*beginning to clench jaw*) pookey, schnookums (*speaking through gritted teeth*), munchkin of a love bug was bestowed upon me to create within me, a horrid and vile aversion to malls.

I'm pretty sure that, prior to her arrival, I loved malls waaaayyyy too much and that God thought that maybe I should take it down a notch.

So He gave me her.

And now, I'm beginning to twitch whenever we pull into the mall parking lot.

In fact, I think maybe even the mall employees are starting to twitch when we pull into the parking lot. Either that, or run for cover.


And they all dive underneath their registers, quaking in fear, praying that we pass through quickly.

I'm thinking it won't be long and I'll be having full blown panic attacks whenever we come within a couple of blocks of a'll be like my own inner GPS..."uh oh. Panic attack...we must be near a mall."

And then my babe's head will start to spin and she'll begin to cackle and take on her evil alter-ego "Screech" (not to be confused with the adorable but tragically unsuccessful "Saved by the Bell" dude...he was probably fabulously behaved in malls...) who will only disappear once we have arrived back at home.

Somebody help. I think they gave me the wrong baby in the hospital.


  1. Cracking up! Awwww look at that sweet face...surely you don't mean her!

  2. Are you sure you're not talking about my BJ? Malls are the worst, exspecially now that he's getting too big for a stroller. I'm with ya, girl!

  3. Just a few things.

    1) She is BEAUTIFUL and I want to smoosh her with hugs and kisses

    2) Your photography is so clear and crispy and i love it. (Ian says not to say pics are crispy, but I don't know how else to say it)

    3) Perhaps our daughters are twins separated at birth because my babygirl doesn't appreciate being in a mall either!

    Love you!

  4. We must have a set of triplets, Jordan, Babygirl and Emma! WHY in the world dont they like to shop.. don't they know how wonderful it is?!?! Even Target has to run for cover too around these parts (sigh)

    Look how sweet she is pushing that stroller!! I seriously doubt she is THAT bad at the mall ;)

    Have a great day girlie

  5. Or quads. If you read my post from yesterday, you'd know that my daughter is giving me a run for my money when entering any store these days.

  6. You're too funny! :) Maybe it's because of all the people, all the colors, all the stimulation. Maybe she's trying to get it all in at once and its making her cranky. Hell, it makes ME cranky! :)

    Those baby blues just make me smile!

  7. I'm pretty sure everyone in the runs for cover when we enter any store as well. If my baby girl wasn't so darn cute and cuddly, we'd almost consider trading her in.

  8. this is too funny. I think she is encouraging you to save more for her college

  9. LOL too funny! She is sooo gorgeous though!!

  10. She's way too cute to act like that....those eyes are amazing.

  11. LOL, literally. I could have written that post word for word, except that my little terror is a boy. Maybe we need some retail therapy ;)

  12. Umm please tell me this isn't a look into my future lol.

  13. I'm with Baby Girl on the whole mall bit! -EW


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