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Conspiracy Theorist? Perhaps...

Guys...I'm suspicious.

Well, that's not something new...but I'm suspicious that I'm being took. And I don't like being took. ("Being took", how's that for proper grammar?)

Here's my deal. Perhaps you've seen my tweets about my malfunctioning iPhone. Perhaps you haven't.

If you haven't, here's the run down...

Not quite a year ago, I got my iPhone. I'm cheap, so I went with the 3G...aka "the old model", 'cuz I figured I didn't need all that fancy schmancy stuff. Me and my iPhone, we got along just great.

He took care of me, and I took care of him (dropping him only once or twice, which is something to write home about, as I tossed my old cell phone out of my lap onto the garage floor a few too many times.). I may, or may not, have been just ever so slightly smug that my iPhone seemed to not have any quirks.

I'd talked to people who had issues with their phones here and there, but mine? Perfection.

Then...(are you ready for this?)...then, Mr. 4G arrives.

I checked him out from afar and wound up with a, "Meh." I didn't need him...I had my wonderful 3G who had served me just fine.

I plugged him in to my computer one night, and up popped "iTunes has detected new software for your iPhone. Would you like to upgrade to iTunes 4.0?"

Upgrade? Well, hellaya!! I mean, HELLO! It's an upgrade! As in better, movin' up, gettin' smarter! Sign me up for that, baby!

So, I clicked "Upgrade now." And waited while my iPhone sank itself. Er...sunk itself? Wait...synced itself. Yeah. I think that's it. Synced.

UPGRADE = EPIC FAIL. And herein lies the conspiracy. But first...I need to profess my love for Apple...even if they're conspiring against me. Apple...I love you. There, all 'fessed up.

Okay, back to the conspiracy. know my paltry little 3G? He sucks now. Ever since that damn *insert finger quotes here* "upgrade", he's awful. He changed on me...and girls, not for the better. He's slow and stuttery and kicks me off of apps and the phone is all wonky sometimes.

Even after I tried to fix him. I wiped him out (with the help of my love's over at Apple Care. They rock. With a capital R-A-W-K.), and restored him as new.

I didn't work.

I think...when the big shot 4G came out, "they" conspired to make all of we who are happy with our 3G's, unhappy with them so that we'd upgrade to the 4G. They offered us "new" software to improve our phones which only made them run slower in hopes we throw our hands up and say, "Oh, almighty Apple Gods...I succumb! I need the 4G! *and could you please send it to me via overnight airmail?*"

Grrrr. I want my old 3G back.

I really didn't want him to change.

Lesson learned. Don't try to change what you'll come back to bite you in the rear.

And Apple?

I'm on to you.


  1. Totally agree, I don't even upgrade my laptop, because they slow it down, I know for sure.

  2. oh no....this makes me sad. I am a true Apple lover through and through!!

  3. I know how you feel! I did the same thing and it was a disaster which lead me to buy the new iPhone! Then I started to think maybe thats why the upgrade is weird on the 3g so that it would LEAD you to have to buy the new iPhone, just a thought!

  4. I pretty much never upgrade any software for anything because I've had that happen one too many times.....

  5. Could it be that it wasn't the upgrade at all...just the fact that he is a man and after the year long honeymoon, he became slow, stuttery and, well, just a typical man? LOL


    Thanks for the heads' up ... I won't be upgrading my old 3G.

  6. I'm sorry to hear your new Apple software is rotten to the core. *snort, snort* Sorry. Couldn't resist. You have, however, lessened my iPhone envy. Even if it's only by a smidge. ;)

  7. I've learned not to do a software upgrade on Apple products until I have read reviews of other users using the same equipment I am using. Apple reps do not like you tell them this either. They get very snotty with you.

    I have an iPod Touch 2G. It was less than a year old when iOS4 came out and wouldn't be able to use all the features of the new OS. That's when my brief love affair with Apple ended. I will never again spend $400 on an iPod and will not be getting a Macbook when it's time to replace my notebook.

    If you are interested, below are instructions revert your software back to 3.1.3. But it's one of those at your own risk deals since the instructions are not from Apple.

  8. I was going to suggest the same thing as Marla above. I didn't do the upgrade because I heard horror stories, but a good friend of mine did, and then used that to go back to the older version. She seems happy with it now.

    I hope it works for you!

  9. Oh my. I've heard this very story from several iphone users. Sorry it happened to you :-(

  10. I's a total conspiracy! I "upgraded" my iTunes on my iPod a little while back and it never worked after that! What, what? I had to buy a new one! Not that I mind...but still!!

  11. Hey Bestie--I'm having the SAME DUMB PROBLEMS ARRGH!!! Apple--I love Apple--but do NOT like being forced to upgrade my phone because they screwed it up! GRRR!!!

  12. Oh no, that's terrible :(

    Although I am the opposite of you on only one thing... I hate, hate, hate Apple!(did I mention "hate" LOL) I have a few products from them and they all are epic fails! The software that seems to come with most Apple products is just terrible. I will never ever buy another because their software is the worst. So sorry about your phone :(

  13. LOL, I'm completely with you in the conspiracy idea. Both Hubby and I have noticed our archaic 3G phones have become rather sluggish now that the new fandangled 4G is available here in Canada (not that you can actually get one...each store got 6, yes 6 phones on release day!). I haven't even updated lately, it just became delayed in pretty much everything I want it to do. Stupid phone...okay, okay, I take that back. Sluggish or not, I love my phone...I love my Mac too.


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