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She May be Pretty...Part 2

So, as you know, we now have a new (read: evil) dog. When we left off on Part 1 of this saga I had just turned to see a running Nikki coming straight at me...

Carrying on...

And, I trusted her. I mean, why wouldn't I when my other experience (i.e. Dora) is so trusting?

And then...then...THEN, as my baby looked on from the window, the vile little cotton headed ninnymuggins that is our new puppy clipped my legs, flipped me into the air and somehow I ended up facing the total opposite way that I had been standing. Only, I was laying in the ground.

With a sore hip. And hand. And elbow. Oh, yeah...and my neck too. #evil

Next up, the day she ran away. I let them out to pee...only this time I was smarter. OHHHHH, was I smarter.

I stayed inside.

Then I had to go somewhere and the dang dog was MIA. So, I called and called. Dora came quickly...but Satan, I mean Nikki? Nope.

So, I called and called and called some more. Then, I loaded up a van full of kids and drove over to the development near us. I drove and called and drove and called (this is where it might get weird if I rename her "Satan"...) and as soon as I approached the house with the Golden Retrievers, here comes Nikki. (How do they know "their own kind"?)

Thinking I'm there to play. WRONG.

I load her into the back of the van. Drive home and curse the day we ever brought her home.

And then there was...oh, you thought that was it? Nope. Read on...

Then there was the day I drove into the garage and spied a vest lying on my garage floor. (No, she didn't eat someone.) I thought that was strange, so I got out to investigate and discovered that it was not a familiar vest and why was it chewed up and what is all this plastic laying on the floor and tags? And...and...AND?!!!!

And why are the Christmas gifts I had ordered from Eddie Bauer strewn ALL OVER THE FLOOR OF THE GARAGE?!

And, *gasp* NIKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!! Why are you sleeping with a brand new shirt?!

That has...that has...HOLES! Chewed up, dog slimed HOLES all over it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I have since purchased a rubbermaid tote and crafted a little letter to our UPS guy. It reads something like this:

"Dear UPS: We are now the owners of the spawn of Satan disguised as a beautiful Golden Retriever who likes to eat the packages that you deliver. Please place any items in the tote..."
Dang dog.

But Eddie Bauer? They were fab. Sent me new stuff right away, turns out the vest, the beautiful, down filled, rose colored vest, was sent in error. Oops.

Dang dog.

But...through it all...she's kind of growing on me. As long as she stays a respectable distance away, as long as she doesn't eat anything else, as long as she quits running off...maybe she can stay.

And, maybe I won't name her Satan afterall. How 'bout "Lucy"? Short for "Lucifer". ;)

Kidding! Sorta.


  1. I definitely don't miss the puppy days. Ours chewed through the carpet, the under padding right through to the subfloor. Ass.

  2. are we living the same life, my husband got a puppy right before leaving, a puppy who chews on our christmas lights and everything else she can get a hold of

  3. I am laughing with you and feel you pain. It gets better. We had our golden for 10 years and once we were past the puppy phase, he was a wonderful member of the family. His only vise that I could never cure him of was digging.

  4. When we were getting our puppy we fought for two weeks over his name.

    I jokingly said we should name him dammnit because I remember what having a puppy was like and that would be perfect. You know "get inside damn it" "damnit stop it" you get it.

    I was shot down, but turns out. That name was perfect and is his nickname, because he is SO naughty!!

    I actually do stand at the back door and scream "kobi, get inside damn it! get inside!" Didn't even need to name him Kobi

  5. ahhh. I wish I had a puppy. At least your life isn't boring!

  6. I love reading your blog..I love your new addition. I also work with dog rescue...and cringe when reading about puppies coming into a chaotic and unroutine holiday homes. (not saying your home is more chaotic, thn any other, it's just a very busy time) Knowing how compassionate you re from being a loyal reader...I have confidence that puppy classes and obedience training is on your radar. So that "Satan" will grow into a forever family member....
    In rescue we all see owner turnovers rise in the spring, when these cute puppy's are no longer a novelty...and aren't fitting into the is essential for a smoother transition.


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