One week ago today, I had skied myself down a mountain (several times) and survived.
Oh, you guys...Colorado has captured my heart. I loved our vacation like you wouldn't believe and while I am not (nor will I ever be) a world class skier (let's be honest, greens are where you'll find me...and I won't be whizzing down them, either!), the mountains and the skiing and the fresh air and the walking everywhere? I grabbed a hold of me and doesn't seem to be making any moves to let go!
Check out this view from our hotel room!!
I just told someone today, "If I had had my kids with me, I'm not sure I would've come back." I felt so healthy and vibrant and alive...ugh, I wanna go back!
Funny story, the first evening we were in Beaver Creek, we walked down to the village and I got my first real look at the ski runs...I thought, "Huh. They don't look so bad." and we went about our business and had supper and went ice skating and tucked ourselves in…
Grief...it's like a thick sludge, hard to wade through, difficult to know which way is up, feeling like you'll never get out of it. Today was a rough day. I'm not sure if it was just setting in, or that grief coupled with today being Baby Girl's and my birthday, was just a bad combination, but whatever it was, I found it hard to keep the tears at bay. Just when I thought I'd have it pulled together, I'd hear or read the words, "I'm sorry", or field a phone call, or think about the amazing outpouring of love and support...and the tears would flow. Fast and furious. I've discovered that my rock, my strength, comes from being around family; specifically, my husband. When I'm alone, the thoughts and memories coming flooding in and the tears come pouring out. My brother-in-law, Verd, was an amazing man. Actually, "amazing" doesn't even do him justice, I wish I could find a word great enough to describe the kind of man he was.
Tomorrow marks the return to a "new reality" for our family. After a couple of good days, I know everyone is apprehensive about what tomorrow will bring. I guess we'll just have to see. This past week has taught me a lot...not the least of which was how many lives my brother-in-law had touched. Over 2,500 people waited in line, each for about 2 hours, to pay their respects to him at his wake. I was blown away...we were ALL blown away. At his funeral, the church held more people than it had ever held before...Christmas mass and Easter Sunday included. Our priest was even amazed. I also learned, probably most importantly, just what an amazing family I married into. Just how wonderful they all are, how strong they all are, how faithful they all are. As I spent this week "disconnected", I realized I was more connected than I had ever been...to my family. I learned that the things that matter most in life are those that can't have a value placed on them. It's no…