Because I like to help people out...and prevent anyone from taking any missteps along the road of life...I enjoy sharing newly gleaned knowledge with all y'all. (Yes, I know I'm from MinneSOOOOta...but once upon a time, I was granted permission from a Southerner to say "y'all", and so I do.)
Friends, my tips for a pool party with 9 year old girls:
1. Don't do it.
2. If you do not heed tip #1...limit yourself to a 10 minute party.
3. Trust me when I say 4 hours is too long.
4. Don't do it.
5. Make sure your daughter invites herself. And you. And that's it.
6. You know, on second thought, disregard tip #2...10 minutes is entirely too long.
7. Bring ear plugs. I didn't. What? WHAT? Speak louder...I can't hear you!!!
8. Restrain your arms at your sides...if you don't, you risk pulling out all of your hair.
9. Downside to tip#9 is that if someone goes down...they're on their own. Restrained arms are not helpful in CPR.
10. Try not to cry when it's over. Yes, I know you'll be happy...but it'll look bad to the other parents.
11. Apologize to your parents for any pool parties you had as a child. Don't be offended when they aren't at all sympathetic to your woes.
Listen to me when I tell you this. If you do not, you are risking your hair, your hearing and your sanity.
I am left with nothing left of those.
Gawd, I wondered how this was gonna go... Oy. I'm so sorry... things I'm never going to allow: pool parties (I was a lifeguard for toooooo long!) and pizza at sleepovers. I'll explain the last one in a blog post very soon... but 9 year old girls? Shudder. I'm going to enter a medically induced coma for "friend" birthdays from about age 6 onward. And don't worry... hair grows back... I just can't guarantee it'll be the same color... or any color for that matter ;o)
ReplyDeleteOye! Yeah, that's not my cup of tea either!
ReplyDeleteThe echo of the indoor pool will have lasting effects, I'm sure. But I'm sure the 9 yr olds were all happy. :)
ReplyDeleteOh my. Was it truly that bad? Please disregard my comment on the previous post. ;)
ReplyDeleteDuely noted. You are a brave mama and I am sure went down in history and awesome! 9 is coming up i a few months and now I know what to say No too!
ReplyDeleteGood tips...all!
ReplyDeleteI once helped at my friend's daughter's birthday/pool party. It was the end of our friendship.
ReplyDeleteOkay, just kidding. But it was crazy. About 12 screaming 7 year olds.....
About 12 screaming, wet 7 year olds.
About 12 screaming, wet 7 year olds who had each consumed their body weight in sugar.
Yeah..... 5 years ago and I'm still trembling thinking about it.