Thursday, May 25, 2017

What Happened?

I've suddenly found myself at an interesting "phase" of life. I'm now that mom who looks at her friends with young babies and I feel everything. EVERYTHING.

All.

The. 

Things.

Like, when did I suddenly become the "old" mom of the group?

And, where did my babies go?

And, how on earth do I have a 21 year old?! TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD, PEOPLE! How can that be when I feel like I'm only 26?!

Surely someone is playing tricks on me.

But then, something happens and I smacked upside the head with the reality that yes, indeed, I am that "old" mom. For example, my middle child broke his hand a couple of weeks ago. Broke a bone in his hand clear through...no teeny little fracture or anything, but a bonafide break. 

Once upon a time I would've been sick with worry. Probably teary eyed and weepy over the whole thing. I would've made him a bed on the couch and he would've gotten gifts to wish him well and I probably would've written a blog post about whilst he was getting his cast. But this time? Now that I'm an old seasoned mom?


Well, this time I waited it out through the whole gosh dang weekend. He broke it on a Friday evening at a birthday party but was insistent in his plea of "Don't pick me up mom, okay? DON'T PICK ME UP!" Poor kid didn't want to miss a moment of the party and I figured it couldn't have been that bad if he was unwilling to leave a birthday party. (Okay, fine, I may have said, "Well I'm not going to take you to the ER right now anyway!"...but still.)


When I saw his hand the next day, I knew it needed to be looked at, but I'll be a son of a gun if I was gonna take him to the ER, my nurse brain was telling me "well, they'd want the swelling to go down anyway", but just to make sure I wasn't doing him any harm, I asked a doctor friend of mine her take on us waiting until Monday to be seen and I got her approval.

So, Monday rolls around and long story short, sure as heck, the dang thing is broken. And we all (the nurse and PA)  got a good chuckle about "nurse mom's" and their poor kids.  No rookie tears here, just veteran laughs at the whole ordeal.


For the record, the PA said I made the right call about avoiding the ER...she said they would've splinted him and told us to follow up with Ortho on Monday. I just saved us that step! Yahoo!


In any event, I realized, as I was signing my son's cast (which, he is very proud of, as you can see in the above picture), what a stark contrast my response was to what it would've been several years ago.

Yup, I'm that old mom.

Guess it's time to embrace it. 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Grief, Take 2

You know, after my brother-in-law, Verd, died, I kind of thought we were "done". That we had paid our dues...I mean, one tragedy per family is too much, right?

This familiar path is (forgive me for being a two year old for a second), so freaking unfair. SO UNFAIR.

My husband has had two brothers die. WAY before their time. Those brothers had wives and children (13 between them) and parents and brothers and sisters and in-laws and nieces and nephews and ENTIRE communities that loved them. 

I just read some of my old posts from when Verd died and yes. ALL THE YES. It still rings true. From walking through the sludge of grief to the things I've learned. It is all still so true.

You guys, these two men that we've "lost" (more on that word in a second) were two of the greatest. As I step back and take a look at my husband's family from afar I am amazed at what great people my in-laws made. And gosh dang if it doesn't take my breath away that I've been blessed enough to marry one.

Okay, back to the things I've learned and that dumb word "loss". I hate it. HATE IT. I know that death is so uncomfortable and I guess I'd rather have people say "I'm sorry for your loss" than not say anything at all but can we all make a pact to stop saying it? We didn't lose Jared...we know right where he is. But what did happen was that he died. And he left behind a whole bunch of people that miss him terribly.

Here are somethings you could say to replace "your loss":

"I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law, Jared." (Use their name and relationship.)

"Jared was such a wonderful man, I was lucky to know him." (Share how you know him.)

"I remember when Jared and I *insert memory here*." (I can not say enough about how healing memories are...the funny stories and antics of a loved one are so good to hear from others.)

Don't tell us he's in a better spot or that God has a plan...even if those words are the truth, they aren't easy to hear when you're raw with grief and trying to comfort young children. It kinda makes God out to be the bad guy.

And one last thing...lunch meat. Oh my word, all the lunch meat. Should you want to bless a grieving family with food (and thank you, thank you, thank you for doing so) skip the lunch meat aisle. So. Much. Lunch meat. ;)

Again, thank you all for your kind words and for thinking of us...most of all, thank you for your prayers. 


 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Unimaginable

Last week, life fell apart on us.

Again.

My husband's absolutely amazing brother, Jared, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving behind a beautiful young wife and 6 kids. Jared was a life force all his own...his silly antics, giant heart, and happy-go-lucky spirit was contagious and you couldn't help but love the guy.

Why is it that the good guys are taken from us too soon?

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions; from endless tears to laughter and back again. Just when I'm feeling strong, I get a hug or an offer of condolences or a sweet email and the tears start to flow all over again.

Walking the path of grief is miserable...it is heart breaking and exhausting and gut wrenching...and it is unimaginable to have to walk this walk again. Just 6 years ago we were reeling from the sudden death of my husband's oldest brother. This feels far to familiar to have to deal with again.

Remember when I started my resolutions posts and I talked about how the start of a new year terrifies me? That ever since Verd died, I've had a fear of a New Year because you never know what that year will bring? This is what I was talking about. Life can change so quickly...it can go from being so wonderfully imperfect to absolutely soul crushing, heart breaking awfulness so quickly that you are left in a dark hole of confusion.

Like I said in that New Year's resolution post, I want to say that I will continue to choose joy over fear but let's be honest and real and raw for a second. 

I. AM. TERRIFIED.

You guys, fear and sorrow have a hold so tight on my heart right now that it seems unthinkable to be able to choose joy.

Love hard and hold your loved ones close, my friends. And please pray for strength and peace for Jared's wife, kids, and all of us left with a giant Jared sized hole in our hearts and in our lives. He was one of the good guys.

This isn't fair.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Back to Colorado

Back to Colorado...figuratively, not literally, as in "back to our trip", not "that's it, I'm packin' up and going back to Colorado!".

You know what?

I could move. Right now, I could up and move my family out to Colorado. Of course, that'd be irresponsible but OH MY HEART. I have fallen in love.

I realize I'm basing this "love" not on real life...we slept in (sorta), we had the most amazing chocolate chip cookies everyday, we walked everywhere, went out for supper every night, there was no laundry or meals to cook or homework to do or dishes to wash or jobs to report to, and...get ready for this, we ate outside SO MANY TIMES! Odd, because the CO temps were similar to MN temps and you would NEVER find us eating outside.


It was flippin' amazing. And those cookies. Ooooooh, how I want one right now. These were not "3 o'clock Base of the Mountain Cookies...these were The Pines (our hotel) cookies and they were the most amazing things I've ever had. Ever.

The first full day of our trip we went skiing. I was a nervous wreck and my husband was (mostly) patient with me. If I post a video, will you laugh at me?

Oh, who am I kidding...if I can make someone laugh, that means I've done my job for the day! Laugh away!

Here I am...only this is Day 2 of skiing. If you play this in sloooowwwww motion, you'll get an idea of how Day 1 went.


My dear sweet husband told me, "You know, you can go faster than 2 inches per hour! Even if you double your speed, you won't get hurt if you fall!"

But, I was too scared...and then he said, "I think maybe you confused downhill skiing with cross country skiing."

Smarty pants boobhat that he is.


Anyway, I discovered a few things about myself that first trek down the mountain. Here they are:

1. A blue run skier I will never be...let alone a black diamond.
2. Greens are meant for me. In fact, my favorite "runs" were the connecting paths between runs. Yes, you read that right, I went all the way to Colorado to ski and I preferred to ski the paths.
3. I don't like people when I'm skiing. People whizzing past me FREAKED ME THE HECK OUT! I was so worried about crashing into someone that I decided 2 inches/hour was my max speed.
4. As long as I can ski my greens (i.e. mountain paths) I am a happy camper but as soon as I feel pressure to do something riskier (i.e. a "real" green run), I started to sweat my mittens right off. (Quite literally, actually. We had to put my mittens on the boot dryers at the hotel...and they weren't wet from snow!)
5. For the first time in my life, I didn't care what people thought about me! I was just bound and determined to make it to the base of the mountain alive, in one piece, and without taking someone out along the way. (PS, I succeeded!).
6. I LOVE the mountains. 

If I'm going to be totally honest, I'm still having a bit of some post vacation blues. I want to go back. I want to bring the kids with us. I want to move there. (Yes, I have been searching properties. Unfortunately, we don't have a spare 30 million dollars laying around.)

I may have mentioned this before, but I felt so healthy and alive there! So active and vibrant and full of life! It was amazing and probably 90% because: no responsibility, but still.


I can honestly say that this was my favorite vacation to date. This vacation impacted me like no other vacation has...we MUST go back and if you like the outdoors AT ALL, go to Colorado. We were told by several locals that we have to come back in the summer...that there is WAY more to do in the summer.

I think we need to take them up on that.

See you soon!
M.

 

Monday, February 20, 2017

Our Colorado Trip

One week ago today, I had skied myself down a mountain (several times) and survived.

Oh, you guys...Colorado has captured my heart. I loved our vacation like you wouldn't believe and while I am not (nor will I ever be) a world class skier (let's be honest, greens are where you'll find me...and I won't be whizzing down them, either!), the mountains and the skiing and the fresh air and the walking everywhere? I grabbed a hold of me and doesn't seem to be making any moves to let go!

 
Check out this view from our hotel room!!


I just told someone today, "If I had had my kids with me, I'm not sure I would've come back." I felt so healthy and vibrant and alive...ugh, I wanna go back!

Funny story, the first evening we were in Beaver Creek, we walked down to the village and I got my first real look at the ski runs...I thought, "Huh. They don't look so bad." and we went about our business and had supper and went ice skating and tucked ourselves into bed that night, eagerly anticipating a day of skiing the next morning.


Well, when we skied off the hotel path and I was faced with the very same ski runs as I had been the night before (but this time, with skis on my feet instead of boots) I saw them in a whole new light and HOLY CRAP were they steep! I may have had a minor heart attack right there at the base of the mountain. (Thankfully, my husband was there to give me mouth-to-mouth.) ;)


But, like the big, brave girl that I am, I took a deep breath and loaded the ski lift with my handsome husband...shortly into the ride to the top of the lift (it was a LOOOOOONG lift!) the wind was blowing in my eyes, and they started to water a bit and suddenly, I was ALL OVER THE MAP with my emotions! I was scared and nervous and awestruck by the beauty around me and the fresh mountain air in my eyes and how happy I was to be on this vacation with my husband and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face...and I was laughing uncontrollably! You should have heard my husband..."Are you okay?" "Are you laughing or crying?" "Oh my gosh, what is happening?!" and it made me laugh/cry all the more!

I still don't really know if I was laughing because I was crying or if I was crying because I was laughing, all I know is that thinking back on it makes me giggle all over again.

I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about our vacation...but let me just tell you, if you are considering a trip to the mountains, DO IT. I am so happy and so thankful that we were able to experience the mountains!

I can't wait to go back.

See you soon,
M.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

What????

So, I came across this picture yesterday:


That picture...the one you see just above these words? Yes, that one...it was taken 7 months ago. SEVEN MONTHS!! 

And now, my middle boy looks like this:


He's turned into a little man overnight. Just like that, he lost his baby face.

Help me, friends!! What is happening?? Where did my babies go??

Hold me. I can't handle this time warp we seem to be in...where you go to bed one night with itty bitty babies and you wake up the next morning and they are practically adults.

Gracious. I need to go put them all in footy jammies and stick a pacifier in their mouths.

Excuse me now, while I try to swaddle my babies and sing them lullabies. 

See you soon!
M.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Totally Winning

Give me a moment, will you? To commend myself for absolutely WINNING at life today?!

First, I wore heels to work. HEELS! And dress pants too! Anytime I don't wear leggings and flats to work makes me feel like a bonafide adult. So, there's that.

THEN, I came home and worked out. Yes, you heard that right, I. Worked. Out! I've been doing a good job of trying to get myself somewhat in shape for skiing (we leave on Sunday!)!

I whipped up a delicious supper that is baking away and so I'm sitting here, reveling in the gloriousness that is BEING A FREAKING ROCK STAR! I love this feeling...part of me wonders...is it the Vitamin D that my bestie encouraged me to start taking? Is that little pill full of sunshine kicking in and making me feel like so much less of a slug? Or, is it that I had something to motivate me (Colorado...turning 40) and so, I'm grabbin' the world by the nuts and getting stuff done?

Who knows...all I know is today rocked. Oh...OH and guess what?? Guess what I got for my 40th??


This pretty little thing (that, in the words of my aunt, looks like a suitcase on my wrist!!)...I promise it's not really that big in real life.

Kinda like these goggles. They look way smaller in real life. What is up with that?!


 In other news...please reassure me that I'm not going to get swallowed up by an avalanche while I'm skiing. I hear they're getting up to 20" of snow right now and gracious. An avalanche is my worst nightmare, so yes. Reassurance. Now please.

See you soon!
M.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

It Wasn't Half Bad

Well...I did it. I survived my 40th birthday and judging from those who've already weathered this big birthday, I think it's safe to say that 40 is going to be awesome!

I had a great day...started off with donuts with my Birthday Thief for Catholic Schools Week, then I was wished a Happy 28th Birthday during morning school announcements. The best part of my day, though, is when one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world brought me and another one of my favorite people coffee. And there, in my grimy nurse's office, the three of us had an impromptu coffee gathering and laughed and chatted and I was assured, once again, that 40 isn't half bad.

We came home and I wrapped a whole bunch of Japanese candy kits for the other birthday girl in the family. Let me digress for a sec...have you seen these candy kits? They're adorably disgusting. Tonight she made "ice cream" and I kid you not the goo that was concocted was actually cold. COLD...can you imagine the chemicals in those things? Thankfully they taste like crap and no one actually eats them.



Anyway, my beloved Gram made me my absolute favorite, Vegetable Beef Soup...with the help of my amazing Grandpa. We had a quaint little birthday gathering and I came home and guess what I did?

I worked out. Like, legit, DVD in the Xbox and Kettlebell in hand WORKED OUT. My legs shook and burned and gracious I hated it. But then...then I was done and I felt dang good for doing it!

Ask me how I feel tomorrow. ;)

Day 1 of 40 is under my belt...I got this. I TOTALLY got this.

G'night!

See you tomorrow,
M.

 

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Big FOUR-OH.

Well...this is it guys. My last night in my 30's. Laying another decade to rest and starting a brand new one with a bigger number. Gah.

Ugh...I'm struggling with this big birthday of mine like I never thought I would. I think part of it is (I'm so sorry, mom!) that when my mom was 40, she was a grandma...and the thought of that makes me want to throw up.

SHE WAS SO YOUNG!!!! (Look! I said she was young when she was 40...so why do I feel old?!)

I was thinking back to a conversation I had with a boy friend when I was much, much, much younger (I was probably 16ish)...we were discussing my parents and he said, "Well, you know...she's no spring chicken anymore." You guys...YOU GUYS...this was well BEFORE I made my mom a grandma at 40. Which means, she was the ripe old age of 37...maybe 38 at the time.

Waaaaaaaaa!!! "No spring chicken." Lord help me. She was just a baby.
 

My aunt told me that "40 is the old age of youth and 50 is the youth of old age."   So...I guess that makes me the old geezer of all you youngin's?! For some reason, that doesn't make me feel better.

It's just a number, right? I mean, you're only as old as you act or feel or...something?

Maybe I need to get a tattoo. Or pierce my nose (rest assured I will NOT pierce my belly button...I'm afraid it would get lost in the folds of middle agedness). Maybe that'll make me feel young and carefree again...or, maybe the fresh mountain air of Colorado will reset my attitude and I'll come home relaxed, refreshed and ready to kick 40's ass.

Yes...let's go with that. 

40, take note. You're about to get your ass kicked!!

See you tomorrow,
M.

 

Monday, January 30, 2017

Don't Judge

Here I am, blogging 6 days...SIX DAYS!!!...after my last post. What kind of a resolutionist am I???

Not a very good one. (Don't judge.)

Forgive me though, I was up to my eyeballs in planning and let me tell you, my friends, we pulled of a great event! It was such a fun evening...of course, I am a bit biased, but dangit, it was a good time!

We don't have any firm numbers in, but I'm thinking we will at least hit what we did last year. I'm hoping we'll come out ahead of last year, but I'm not gonna be greedy! "As good as" is good enough for me!



Let me tell you something about me...I give this event my all. Near the end, nearly every waking minute I have is spent thinking things through. "Did we remember to do this?" or "Did someone remember to ask that?" or "Did we print this or copy that or scan this or fax that..." and OH MY GOSH I start to keep notes when I wake up at night because if I don't I wake up in a panic, having completely forgotten what critical issue it was that was keeping me up at 2:30 in the morning.

And then...just like that, it's all over. The decorations are packed away. The donations are all in their proud new owners hands. The dust has settled and all that's left is a committee waiting to hear how their event did and me...sitting here in a post-Christmas blues-like state.

WHY DO I FEEL BLUE, PEOPLE?????? Gracious, I am gaining back HOURS of my time and I'm over here all melancholy and subdued. WHATEVER THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???

Of course...40 IS incessantly knocking on my door like a gosh dang Kirby salesman, so maybe that's part of it? Let's talk about that for a second.

Just for a second though, because "Turning 40" deserves its own post...but you know, I've never had an issue with birthdays and getting older but suddenly I'm feeling legit old. It's a good thing that I have a vacation coming soon to take my mind off my oldness.

Gah. Anyway...tomorrow brings with it a 5:30am wake up call, so this old geezer needs to call it a night.

See you tomorrow! (Or, at least sooner than in 6 days!)
M.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Home Stretch

Well...tonight was the last official meeting before our big event on Friday. We hammered out some details, firmed up our timeline, and drank a little wine.

I need to tell you all something...if ever you find yourself planning a gigantic event, gather amazing, strong, fun women to have by your side. We have fun...and (forgive my language) we get shit done. What more could you ask for?!

I'm nervous and excited and I think I need something new to wear because what good is a big event if it doesn't include the opportunity to wear something new and cute?! ;) Shhhhhh...don't tell my husband. 

Everything is coming together...live auction, silent auction, volunteers...it's exciting to see everyone pull together to make this event happen. It makes me happy that we have so many generous people willing to donate their time, talents, and lot's of amazing items. I can't wait to tell you how it all goes down!


Okie dokie...I've got kids that need to start their bedtime routine...with their mama following closely behind!

See you tomorrow?
M.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Finances and Grown-up Stuff

I'm sure I've mentioned it here a time or two, but I'll say it again: I was wired to be a stay-at-home mom. It is truly my dream job.

So, when we had a financial advisor dude come over tonight to talk about grown-up stuff like retirement and he asked us "At what age would you like to retire?", I was all, "Well...I turn 40 in a couple of weeks. So...40?"

I'm not quite sure that was exactly the answer he was looking for.

In any event, I guess it's good that we're planning so that someday we CAN actually retire, right? And then he asked us stuff like "what do we want to do when we're retired" and you know what? I couldn't really come up with anything more concrete than, "Not work?".

We are headed to Colorado in a few weeks to go skiing...what better way to celebrate "The Old Age of Youth" than to send yourself careening down a mountain on a couple of plastic sticks strapped to your feet? The good news is, Mr. Financial Planner Dude talked about how great skiing in Colorado is, so I'm looking forward to seeing how much I can actually trust the guy. Great skiing advice certainly equates to great financial advice, right? ;)

That's what I thought.

I am, however, slightly concerned about how much time the Mr. and I will actually spend together though...he keeps talking about "the back bowls" and I'm all "what's wrong with the bunny hills?" I think our ideas of skiing differ just a bit...I'm all for a nicely groomed loooooooooooong, meandering ski run and he's looking for fresh powder to knees. Should be interesting!

But what I'm really looking forward to is some good quality time with this handsome fella of mine. And some fresh mountain air isn't gonna hurt, either!

Good night my friends...tomorrow is a long a day!

See you tomor...see you soon! (I've learned my lesson that isn't gonna be an everyday thing but more of a "more often than not" thing!)
M.

 

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

High Maintenance? Perhaps...

I've been searching for a pair of navy blue flats...I've had my eye on Lucky Emmies, because: Tieks, gah. I can't bring myself to spend that much $$ on a pair of dang flats! Boots? Maybe...but flats? Heck to the no.

So, I decided to just go ahead and order the Emmies online last week, only, if I spent a little more money I got free shipping so WHY NOT TWO EMMIES?! Yes, I'm glad you agree.

Let me tell you an interesting (some might say, "high maintenance") fact about myself. I love...I ADORE...ordering shoes online and you wanna know why? Because 99.9% of the time they arrive in pristine and pure form and have never, ever touched the foot of another human being. It's like some soul satisfying thing for me to slip my foot into a shoe that no one else's stinky foot has ever touched. (I know, I know...my poor husband has to put up with me. Poor guy.)

Back to my Emmies...so, my navy ones arrive and just like always, I sighed a sigh of utter contentment when I opened the box and pulled out the perfect packaging and slipped that shoe on like Post-ball Cinderella. Complete and utter delight.

Then today...my second pair of shoes was waiting on my door step when I got home. A welcome treat after a trying week. I opened them up and my senses were on high alert when I saw no special packaging (no shoe formers or tissue paper or any of that stuff). Hmmmmm...a bit sketchy. Then, I took out a shoe and saw the bottom was slightly scuffed but then...BUT THEN??? 



Oh, the horrors.

Scuffed leather. As in: SOMEONE NOT ONLY TRIED THEM ON BUT WORE THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE!! And, you could even see toe indents in the inside of the shoe. Ew.

I couldn't even bring myself to try them on.

We'll just call them my "free shipping shoes"...thankfully there is a brick and mortar store nearby where I can return them.

(But for real...where is the quality control here, people?!)

See you tomorrow,
M.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Well then...

Well now, look at me, rocking my "blog everyday" resolution. Why do I set such lofty goals?! Ugh. Also: this is why I never choose "working out" as my resolution...because 37 seconds into it I'd be all, "nah...too much work, please pass the chips."

In my defense, life is INSANE right now...insane with a dose of PMS to top it off. So yes, you SHOULD feel sorry for my husband right now. And my kids. And my co-workers. And pretty much anyone that looks at me or crosses my path or BREATHES THE SAME DAMN AIR AS ME.

Because it sucks to be them.

During our event meeting tonight I realized that the big day is next Friday. Ahem. Did you hear that? NEXT Friday! I just lost a week of my life and suddenly OH MY GOSH everything has suddenly become super urgent. Urgent as in, it should've been done last week.

Interesting tidbit: we suddenly have more empty bottles of wine in our recycling than usual.



Don't get me wrong, though...I enjoy organizing this event and I'm extremely passionate about it, but man alive. These last weeks of planning are taxing. My mind doesn't shut off and the last minute details are suffocating. But it is worth it...it truly is...and the bonus is that I get to spend a lot of time with some pretty incredible and equally passionate women.

The next 10 days are going to speed by and before I know it the night will be here and over...it's like a wedding. Or Christmas. So much planning and preparation and it's over before you knew what hit ya.

But you know what just hit me? Overwhelming fatigue...to bed I go.

See you tomorrow (I think...),
M.

Friday, January 13, 2017

It's Friday the 13th!!!

Today was like a weird time warp...I got to work, turned around and suddenly it was lunchtime?! Then, I swear to you, it took 17 hours, SEVENTEEN HOURS, to go from lunchtime until the end of the day.

What the heck.

In the future, I'd prefer my days go much like this morning did...lightening fast!

Anyway...happy Friday the 13th! I'm feeling bad for my L&D friends right now. Friday the 13th AND a full moon??? Ugh. I can't imagine what tonight will be like...but I guess I'll find out because I work there tomorrow morning! Yahoo! I think?

I have this weird love/hate with my hospital shifts...as they are approaching, I sort of dread them, but then I get there it's totally different...I enjoy it and the time flies!

I was asked if I was going to Five Question Friday again...and you know what? I think I will! Maybe not every Friday, but that was fun, wasn't it?!

Off I go to a hockey game!



See you tomorrow (but really, probably Sunday)!
M.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Day 11

Here's something you may or may not know about me...my husband and I teach religion classes for a class of 9th graders in our parish.

It's equally exhausting and exhilarating. These kids. One moment something amazing and deep and enlightening comes out of their mouths and the next moment they're suddenly talking about SnapChat and nicknames and OHMYGOSH I HAVE PHYED FOR TWO HOURS! 



I can't keep up.

Well, I mean...I lie. I guess I can. I get sucked up into their sidetracks so quickly I don't know what hit me and pretty soon I find myself trying to find a lesson in what they were talking about but realizing that in NO WAY does it pertain to what we were talking about before the sidetrack and then I just defer to my patient husband. Who sits there shaking his head at me. Please send help. For my husband...he could use a more focused teaching partner! ;)

We teach in our house, which leads to a really nice, relaxed, conversational approach to teaching...but also makes me 1. sweat about the piles on laundry waiting to be folded, 2. the dust on the steps, 3. the supper odor lingering, 4. dirty mirrors, 5. dirty toilets, 6. you get the picture. AND THESE ARE KIDS. They probably don't even notice 1/2 of it!

And yet, I can't seem to motivate myself to have a perfectly clean house every Wednesday, either. So, maybe I really don't care all that much? Oh, there is SO MUCH psychology behind this. SO. MUCH.

Also, remember those squats I talked about needing to do before we left for Colorado? Um. Ahem. Well, I think I worked out once and did a few random squats the other day.

Whoo whee! Look at me go! I am the living picture of motivation, my friends!!

Speaking of motivation...I'm super motivated to hit the hay right now. So with that...

See you tomorrow!
M.

 

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Day 10

I bet you all thought, "Oh sure, EVERYDAY, M.???" and that I was about to go two whole days with no blog post, right?! Well, have no fear! Your Day 10 blog post is here!

It's been a couple of long days...if I've said it once, I've said it a million times, sweet young mamas, embrace these newborn/infant/toddler days. You think they are busy and exhausting, now, but I would give ANYTHING for just one day when my kiddos were itty bitty. When our worries were about whether we were going to have mac and cheese for lunch (again) and if I would be able to coordinate nap times successfully (usually not). Sigh...such is life. And growing up is good too.



(*Gulp*...look at my babies!!! Waaaaaaah!!! Oh, and my adorable itty bitty nephew, too!)

I guess. ;)

Anyway, yes. Busy. Crazy. Work, activities, friends, 21st birthday parties (no not mine, but you're so sweet for thinking so! Oh...wait...nevermind...), committees, school fundraisers, HOCKEY. Gah. 

This, my friends, is just the season of life I am in...and I know one day, I will be saying, "What I would give for just one more day when my kiddos were all at home...".

So embrace and enjoy this time, I will! It's a daily struggle to live in the moment and enjoy what I have right in front of me...and man alive, I sure am blessed.

See you tomorrow!
M.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Day 8

When I said "everyday", you didn't think I meant EVERYday, everyday, did you?

Yesterday I was home for one hour...ONE hour before we came home for the night, I showered and hit the sack. I was tiiiiiiired. Worked a hospital shift (yup, I still do that whole Labor and Delivery thing...I just can't seem to give it up!), came home, snuck in a 45 minute power nap, headed to the arena for a concession stand shift, then watched my hockey player play, went out for a late supper, and whoa.

 

It was a long day.

So, some of you that know me may be scratching your head thinking, "Hockey? Really?"...yup. We succumbed. Our 13 year old broke us down and talked us into letting him play youth hockey. It's been the best and worst decision we've ever made.

Worst because: Hockey life. Ugh. (No down time, no free weekends, lots of dedicated time, blergh.)

Best because: It turns out this kiddo has some passion and skill for the game. For a first year skater he is doing pretty dang well, but it's his passion and love for hockey that has me hooked. He works so hard and enjoys it so much, it makes it hard to hate!


(And, I've gotta admit, hockey is a dang fun sport to watch!)

 I think we're in this for the long haul...I've been resisting the term "Hockey Mom", but after this weekend, I feel like I've been adequately indoctrinated into the hockey life. Before long Imma be wearing hockey pins and an airbrushed stocking cap (raise your hand if you know what I'm talking about!).


Wish me luck.

It's gonna be a lot of years of crazy busy winters...which I'm told makes them go faster (bonus!).

Have a great week!

See you tomorrow,
M.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Day 6

My babe.

Just when I start to feel like the sand is slipping through my fingers and my babies are growing up too fast, something like this happens:


She followed me into the bathroom (because: OF COURSE I can't pee in peace) after school one day, snuggled into her cozy blanket. I did my business and went to waste a few split seconds on my phone to chill after work, figuring she'd follow me out. Before long I realized she hadn't come out...I went to check on her and there she was, sound asleep on the bathroom floor.

And then today.


Curled up on her chair in her bedroom, fast asleep while waiting to go to her brother's hockey game (THAT is another post for another day. Hockey, that is...).

These moments ground me...they make me realize that while I am sad that my babies are growing so fast, that they are still just that: My babies.

They always will be.

See you tomorrow!
M.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Day 5

Ugh. Here I sit, once again typing from my phone and cursing myself for not bringing my charger home from work. But alas, a New Year's Resolution is a New Year's Resolution and BLOG I MUST.
 
It's been fun hearing from those of you who claimed you "missed my blogging"...makes me happy that once upon a time I maybe made you laugh, or cry, or shake your fist at my writing! I feel like there are so many reasons that led to my decrease in writing...SO. MANY.

Where do I even start?

Let's start with the one most obvious to me...and probably most difficult to speak to, because I'm a pleaser. Please I must and if I don't please, GOOD GRACIOUS it eats at me. Here is a morsel of honesty for you, and for those that know me in real life, PLEASE take no offense! Remember, me = pleaser...and don't stop reading, either...okay, back to that morsel of honesty: I preferred to blog when I was more anonymous.
It seemed that as more and more people I knew "for real" started finding out about my blog that I began to feel a bit stifled. And somewhat pigeon holed. Birthday posts for errrrrbody, trying to mention this person or post a picture of that person or wrote about something that my adorable grandpa suggested I write about when what I really wanted to do was shout: BUT THIS IS MY BLOG!! And while I was proud that those that loved me enjoyed reading my blog, it made me nervous.
A little uneasy.
What if I wrote about a hot topic issue and someone mistakenly thought I was writing about them? OR, what if I DID want to write about something that was  aging at me that involved someone I knew and what if they were offended? What if I wanted to write about God or prayer and someone close to me thought I was a bible banging religious freak?
I began to struggle, a lot, with who was reading and what I was posting (which, let's be honest, can sometimes be  a good filter...albeit a stifling filter) and my post topics got narrower and narrower until I felt like al I could write about were trips to South Dakota. Or something. ;) And before long I slipped into a pattern of dreaded obligation and gah, who wants THAT in their life. Check this out:

 


I went from near daily posting to half that and then dropped off drastically each year!


Near the end of 2016 I really began to miss this blog. Writing has always been my strongest form of communication and it truly helps me process my thoughts. Whoda thunk that the very thing I loved initially I would grow to dread and then come full circle?! I'm still definitely finding my "groove" but man alive, I'm glad I pushed myself to start up again!

Now...to see if I can break those stifling binders and see if I can really let some of these crazy thoughts that clog brain let loose!

See ya tomorrow!
M.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Day 4 (aka I've Officially Blogged as Much as I Did in ALL of 2016)

Quick PSA before we get started: Blogger needs to bring their app back. While it wasn't super fantastic, it sure beats typing on my phone on a NOT mobile friendly website. Blergh.

Now that I've got that out of the way, can I tell you a little story about just exactly WHY I'm blogging from my phone? Well, you see...one dark and stormy night (alright, alright...it wasn't at all dark or stormy, but I just like to liven things up in here sometimes!) I was working on my computer. I vividly recall asking my youngest babe to grab my charger, as I was about to run outta juice, so I finished up, and like the Type A person that I am (or, you know, NOT) I unplugged the charger from the computer, but left the charger plugged into the wall. Fast forward several days to when I am attempting to (hurriedly) get my Christmas cards addressed and GOSH DANGIT I can't find my charger anywhere. ANY. WHERE.

No where to be found. 

The next day, my hubby loses his phone. As in, clearly recalls having it one moment, and then everything gets a little fuzzy and he can't find it anywhere. ANY. WHERE. We determine it is definitely outside, during the coldest cold snap of the season (for those of you reading in the south, that would be daytime temps that are still below zero...gross even for us hardy Minnesotans!) and after a whole crap ton of searching, we write it off as a lost cause and hubby gets a new phone.


Fast forward again several days and an ice storm is bearing down on us (because temps are now oddly ABOVE average...welcome to Minnesota) and our pop-up camper still has not been "popped-down" (as we like to say) from summer use (again: not Type A) and I casually mention to my love that perhaps we should winterize the camper before the ice destroys it. So, he walks into the camper and *insert choirs of angels singing* HALLELUJAH there is his phone! Safe and sound on the mattress, right where he left it when he shook the snow off the canvas a couple weeks earlier!! 

Poor guy, searched through trash and snow and all sorts of yuck, and his phone was nice and clean (although frozen) on the camper mattress.

Now, if only I could say the same for that darn computer charger of mine...

See ya tomorrow!
M.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Day 3

Happy Mondaytuesday, my friends!

Mondaytuesdays really aren't that great, are they? I mean, I guess in the big picture it means you don't have a MONDAY Monday, but still. Blech. Tossed right back into reality after a glorious Christmas break.

I've been thinking a lot lately...am I the only one that feels slightly conflicted emotions at the start of a new year? I'm equal parts excited to see what the year holds and terrified. I don't always remember being fearful of a new year and I think I can trace that feeling back to when my brother-in-law died. It really brought to light how fleeting time is and how so much can change in a split second...then, when you think about how many "split seconds" there are in a year?

Well, that grips my heart with fear.

And so, I pray.

I pray that God protects us from harm. I pray we all have good health. And I pray that my heart can be at peace. That I can live in the moment and appreciate all the good and the fun and the wonderful that happens right in front of me and not worry about all those "split seconds" that are lined up before me.

I've also found that I've wasted a lot of those split seconds by having my face in my phone much more than my children deserve. They deserve me and my attention and while, sure, I could argue that I "deserve" some "me time" the fact remains that I am a mom and when you become a mom "me time" takes a back seat to everything else. I won't try to pull the wool over your eyes and lead you to believe that I have suddenly become a 100% engaged mama, but I will tell you it is a conscious effort for me to put down my phone...and I think I'm doing a decent job of it.

I think.

Recently, over Christmas break, I was talking with my big boy (half jokingly) about when 12 step programs would start for those addicted to their mobile devices...he's pretty sure they probably already do exist and by golly, how many of us do you think could qualify for THAT program?

*Raises hand*

So, my friends, let us be all in...let us appreciate every single one of those "split seconds" for the joy they have to offer us. #dropthephonemama


See you tomorrow,
M.

(Funny...I thought this post would be more about the fear I feel at the start of the new year...and instead it became a bit of a confessional! You never know where a blog post will take you...)



Monday, January 2, 2017

Resolutions, Take 2

Well, lookie here...day two of the New Year and WHO IS ROCKING HER RESOLUTION???

This girl.

This girl who turns the big 4-0 in exactly one month from today.

You know, I used to always think that when I turned 40 I'd want my husband to throw me a big surprise party (that probably wouldn't surprise me because I'm always suspicious), replete with black balloons and a yucky commercial cake. 

Turns out, I was wrong.

Like, WAY wrong.

As of today, we have officially started looking into a vacation. And those that know me well are probably thinking a tropical vacation somewhere with white sand beaches and sunshine for days, but nope. Not that.

We are looking at...GET THIS...a ski vacation!! Yup, pricing out airfare and accomodations in Colorado because I have never ever seen a mountain in my entire life and I've always had this pull to go to Colorado so why not knock two items off my bucket list in one trip (moutains and Colorado)?!

I'm excited. And a little skeered...I mean, I haven't so much as done a squat in the last year and now I'm going to strap some skis to my feet and launch myself down a mountain?????

Looks like I have another resolution...to do a squat or two before we leave for Colorado. Maybe three. ;)

For now, since many of you haven't seen hide nor hair of my family in AGES (defunct blogger here), let me leave you with this...a rare photo of me with (most of) my kids.

 
See you tomorrow!
M.



Sunday, January 1, 2017

Resolutions, Take 1

Happy New Year!

As I was contemplating the New Year, you know, resolutions and such, and deciding I wasn't really much of a resolution setter, it dawned on me that I have a great resolution to make. One that I might (possibly) be able to stick to...get back to writing.

On this blog.

Yes, my friends, my 2017 New Year's Resolution is to blog...every day. Seeing as how it is 11:14pm on January 1st and I am just now getting to my blog post, this appears as though it may be a more difficult challenge that I initially thought, but I'm gonna try my dardest!

You may hear mundane things, you may hear controversial things, funny things and sad things, meandering thoughts and useless information, but blog I will! Mostly, because I truly miss writing and this was my "outlet" for so long. Perhaps one of my 2017 posts will take a look at the things that happened that caused my little corner of the web to become a dust bunny collecting space of emptiness...perhaps. Only time will tell!

For now, I close with warm wishes for a healthy, safe, and memory making 2017 for you and yours!

See you tomorrow,
M.

 

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