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Showing posts from May, 2009

Out-laws!

Oh, what a day! Slightly chilly, okay I'm kidding, I was freezing!! Geez, us Minnesotan's, can't keep us happy...you'd think that since we spend so much of our year literally freezing, that 60 degree weather would feel, well, balmy, nearly tropical, right? Not the case with me! It was darn cold today, but we still enjoyed ourselves!

My nephew (Mr. Wonderful's sister's son) celebrated his high school graduation today, in typical MN fashion...open house, lot's of food, lot's of friends, lot's of family, even more beer. What that meant for me was, lot's of in-laws (or as we refer to ourselves, out-laws!)...and we stick together! You see, my husband is one of ten (yes, that's right T-E-N) children, no multiples, no adoptions! They are a very close knit family...a little too close, sometimes (he owns his business with his brother, their sister is their office manager, their oldest brother also works for them, they hire their dad from time to time,…

Something Skinks...

Update: Just in case you were, um, wondering...skink tails fall off too. Ah, just a little something I experienced learned recently. Also, possibly their tails affect their life span? I dunno, just thought...

Mr. Wonderful is trying to tell me this is called a "skink"...thing is, I've never even heard of a, skink. Looks to me like a mutated minnow...I've never seen anything like this. Way back, before I was, you know, creeped out by creepy, crawly things, I played with my fair share of salamanders (did you know their tails fall off if you grab them? Not, you know, that I'd know first hand, or anything...), but this is nothing like the black and yellow creatures of my day! Just look:

So there it was, wriggling through the grass...snake style (gives me shivers just thinkin' 'bout it!) and my manly man nabbed it for a quick little educational session with the kiddos: (notice no one is getting too close!)And now, Mr. Skink resides in bucket, being gawked at inn…

I'm Venting!

Oh, man! Work was work tonight! I need to vent a little as I feel kinda worked up...had a patient tonight that was very trying. I am usually a patient, tolerant nurse, but this gal was about all I could handle. High anxiety, hard to please, always on her light (nurse speak for very needy)...it never ended, and nothing I did was enough. I know, I know, I know...it's my job to take care of her, right? So I should just go ahead and shut up, right? I know I should (bad nurse, bad, bad nurse)...I was just plain old ready to cash her in, I just wanted a "normal" patient, one who didn't have panic attacks or strange questions or complaints or who wasn't so uptight about where her pillows needed to be (I'll tell you, though, where I wanted to stuff those pillows...). This makes me sad to say, but I was hoping for her to deliver, not because of the miracle of birth, but so she'd just stinkin' stop complaining/worrying/questioning/freaking out! Man it was tough…

Tech-no?

All my life I have been terrible at decision making..."pink shoes or yellow? hair up or down? corn and tomato salsa on my burrito?"...you see, I can just imagine how good both options can be. I've never been a glass half empty or half full kind of person either, afterall, doesn't it matter whether you've just filled the cup or emptied it?

So my latest issue is this whole technology bit, texting (I don't), blogging (I do), Twitter (just started), Facebook (for awhile) and how connected I want to be...or would it be disconnected? I'm loving the whole blog routine, hoping this isn't just a "honeymoon" phase, 'cuz I enjoy posting, stimulating my brain to be creative, witty, 'real'. Jury's still out on Twitter, loving Facebook, and questioning if I would like texting. I am a verbal person, I am a "warm fuzzy"...I love people, I love helping people, I love connecting with people and I think texting "cheapens&q…

Reality Bites!

So, it's the last day of school, here, in our neck of the woods. I love, love, love, summer vacation...the whole bit; kids home, warm weather, summer activies, family trips, beaches, etc, etc. I did, however, have a bit of a panic...you see, I realized, in just one short year I will have a kiddo headed to high school. High school.
Do you know what that means? It's putting my trust in a kiddo whose diapers I was changing just yesterday, girls (and dang have they become agressive)...actually, I think it's the girls that scare me most! I remember being a horomone crazed/boy crazy she-girl, and I hope my son stays far, far away from those girls! Oh where, oh where has my baby gone? I do not feel old enough to be this close to the high school years...I recall those days in my own life, very clearly...too clearly, perhaps, and maybe that is the reason I'm so freaking freaked out by this revelation!

Yuckit!

What's a "Yuckit", you ask? Well, I'm so glad you did! A "Yuckit" is not so much noun as it is verb...you see, I "Yuckit" when I see something disgusting (be it a skink or someother creepy crawly). And I must confess. It was not I that came up with this cute little phrase...no, not so. It would be my eccentric Literary professor of an uncle (is it a requirement that professors are eccentric? Is it a product of their education, this eccentric-y-ness of theirs? I digress...)--he was showing the Littles a real live cicada, as I was crouched behind a tree nearby, hoping, hoping, that my children don't touch that disgusting beast (ugh, I'm even more grossed out by what I just saw on that link).
When I dared come out from my hiding place (I realized that I was bigger that it) and got a closer look, I said "Yuck."
To which my uncle exclaimed, "Don't yuck it!", and hence, a phrase was born.
In my defense, that darn cicada des…

Humorous Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day! In honor of this mid-week, not quite, but almost to the weekend day, how 'bout some jokes for you folks?! I'm a blonde (naturally and at heart!) and I love a great blonde joke! Here are some of my faves:

A blonde was on one side of a river, another blonde on the other. One blonde said to the other across the river, "Hey, I need to get to the other side of the river. How'd you get over there?"
The reply was,
"What do you mean? You are on the other side!"

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of a pool!

How 'bout knock-knock jokes? My kids love 'em!

"Knock-Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo who"
"Don't cry, it's only a joke!"

Here's my fave Laffy Taffy joke of all time:

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!

Here's a silly joke my son came home with last year (I don't know why, but I thought it was hilarious!):

What do an elephant and a grap…

Diva Baby

Awww, isn't she a love?! This is our Tiny Girl, she may be little but this girl carries her weight in attitude! Just look at that impish look on her face, she's just conspiring on how she can throw her 20 pounds around and make everyone jump through hoops for her.
And she's dang good at it too! Mr. Wonderful is wrapped around that tiny finger about 30 times, and he always puts his foot down with her loves every bit of it!
Here's the story about our Tiny Girl: she is number 5 of 5--a BIG (as in shock factor, not size) surprise...we were content with our four children, life was moving on, kids getting bigger and more independent when I realized I was a little late, ahem.
Took a pregnancy test to reassure myself that I was not indeed pregnant (again!!) when, yikes! There was a plus sign on that pregnancy test! Egads!!
I mean, how, did this happen (well, okay I knew how)...cue tears, "oh, my gosh again", pregnancy test throwing, yes, throwing (as in at Mr. Wonderf…

Not Me! Monday

Update: Turns out MckMama took Memorial Day off...but, yup, you've got it! Not Me! It's time for Not Me! Monday! Have a peek over at MckMama'sblog, the brains behind this behemoth, brutally honest blog (but not really brutally honest...it is Not Me! after all!). I've been cataloging things in my mind all week, so here we go!

I lovingly encourage my children to help out around the house. Major grocery shopping was in order for my family, so off went the Littles and I. Many grocery bags and hungry kids later, we were home unloading our goods. I was in the house unloading some bags when I heard the unmistakable "pop" of an under pressure glass jar breaking. I did not run outside to find spaghetti sauce covering my Nutty Bars and proceed to lose my cool with Little A. and ask him "what are you doing? Next time grab something lighter!" Yeah, um, I would never bring a poor little three year old to tears when he was just trying to help. Ugh, what "M…

Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun!

Wow! What can I say? We had a greatfabulous time on our Girls Night Out!! In fact, possibly, maybe it was a little too fabulous! Dinner, drinks, dancing--ooh, I'm loving it all over! I did pay for it the next day, much to Mr. Wonderful's dismay, but, man, it was fun!! Here I am with the Northern Half of the RS (and no, I won't explain that!) plus Tara (my marketing phenom of a friend)! (That's me on the right, in the white! Aww, what a cute little rhyme!)And this is my gorgeous friend, Angela, who happens to look as though she is sprouting green horns in this picture! IRL (in real life) Angela is even more gorgeous sans green horns, and she's a blast to hang out with!
These are my gorgeous girls, Jen, Angela (see what I mean, minus the horns?!), Tara and Aimee. Aimee has a dirty (well, not so dirty, really) little secret, but I can't tell you what it is. You'll just have to wait for that! And here's some of our party "gettin' jiggy wit it" o…

Confession!

Okay, I have a confession to make...are you ready?
Please don't think I am a materialistic, vainish person...well, okay, maybe I am, but please don't pass harsh judgement on me. Please?

Here it is: I hate used stuff!
Oh, that feels better. So, there it is, in bold black and white, I can't stand it!
Hand-me downs, used clothing stores, and, egads!!, garage sales...they make my skin crawl.
I know, I know, just wash 'em right? I don't know what it is, I Just. Can't. Do. It!
Please forgive me, I try not to be so snotty, I just can't help it! I can feel my blood pressure rise and the hairs on my neck start to stand up when ever I'm around used stuff, it gives me the shivers!
Ever read the book "Hand Me Down"? Can't remember the author, but it is a great read, maybe, possibly, perhaps 'cuz I related to the poor "hand me down" challenged heroine? Anyway, check it out...it's a great, fluffy, mindless read!

But, I digress...back to…

Middles

This is my marvelous middle man, E.W (pronounced E dubya)! The most expressive and soft hearted of my gaggle of children, he and I had a rocky spot a while back. E.W and his younger brother are close in age (no, not Irish twins), but still, too close, in my opinion.

E.W was all of 21 months old when we rocked his world and brought home little A. A baby too small to play with that took up all of his mommy's time and occupied her lap more often than not. It was about this time that our laid back middle child turned into a destructive hellionnot so laid back toddler. I would no sooner sit down to nurse the baby and E.W would have emptied the junk drawer, broken some sort of mechanical something or other, and, most certainly, spilled something sticky on my floor. Couple this with post-partum hormones, a jaundiced baby, exhaustion and Mr. Wonderful's busy work time...well, you get the picture. This little man had me at my wits end, and, yet, I knew exactly what the problem was (cue …

Self love?

So, I've been thinkin' a lot about this whole blogosphere, twitter business. Don'tcha think it's narcissism at it's finest? I mean really! Talk about self love! Virtually conversing with, well, nobody, and yet everybody at the same time.
But, you know, self love is good, I think, to some extent! It's gotta be a whole lot better than self loathing, right? In all seriousness, I do find it quite funny that I sit here and write these posts to no one in particular, just writing them, 'cuz I like to hear myself talk. Well, you know, not talk but write, or somethin'! And I also think it's funny that virtually none of my close friends or family know of my blog. I can count them on one hand...my bestie Tara (a marketing phenom), Mr. Wonderful (of course), my mama, and my baby bro, oh, and my oldest two kiddos know, too! Ooops, I guess that'd be two hands I'd need to count them on...but anywho...I sit here blogging then, to whom? I don'…

Ordinary-ish

So, I'm kinda sad. I feel old, you know, just not so fresh anymore! When I started this blog, I thought I was a pretty creative gal. Back in the day (I almost said glory days, but, hmmmm, I don't think high school was so glorious anymore) I was a GREAT creative writer! There was no end to this imagination of mine! I so thought I still had it, and sometimes I think I do, but I sit down to write, and my mind goes blank...what the heck?!
Back in the day (BITD) I could pound out a story that would have you captivated and interested, 'course, I was getting at least 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep (oh man, that sounds like heaven!), had no little lives to worry about, hubby to keep happy, home to keep clean, career to keep current on, finances to stress over...huh, maybe that's the cause for this creative mind block of mine. But, still, I miss it!
But I digress, I have it sometimes, I have fun little thoughts, ideas run through my mind, but by the time I sit down to compose...…

Not Me! Monday

Whoo-hoo! It's Not Me! Monday again! So, last Monday, MckMama tortured us by not posting until late morning! But, I didn't waste all the morningany time at all refreshing, and refreshing, and refreshing...heavens, I have things to do! I would never waste valuable time with such silly things...Not Me!It does not break my heart that tiny girl would prefer to be laid down for bedtime, alone, in her crib, rather than rock to sleep. And, so, I did not, totally lap it up when she wanted to rock Sunday night! Nope, I did not think it was the most delicious thing in the whole world to hold that warm little body for all of a, very short, five minutes. Uh, uh...did not enjoy that one little, tiny bit!Speaking of tiny girl, she has more attitude than our teenager, really, she does! We sooo did not get a kick out of her "drama" one evening when she was told "no, no, no" as she was standing in her high chair. I did not think that the lower lip and Oscar winning crying w…

Potty Training: My Take...

I dug into the depths of my blog archives, and unearthed this bad boy (this was, like from my first month of blogging!!!)!
I've been seeing some tweets in the twittersphere 'bout this very subject, so I thought I'd dredge it up, clean it up and repost this baby!
Hope it helps! (Warning...LONG post ahead...)
-------------------------------------
I have successfully potty-trained four scratch that, make it 5 now, children, and given advice to friends trying to train theirs.
My latest (read: oldest) trained kiddo was E.W., who was 2 years and 4 months, my earliest was the lovely Miss E., who, at 20 months, decided to train herself (and, her baby sister followed in her footsteps!).
Now, by no means am I an expert, just an experienced mama, sharing what worked for me!
When I was getting ready to potty train my oldest (2 years, 2 months), my mom gave me advice to read the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" and, by gum, it worked!
Mind you, the book is old (she used …

A Boy and His Hose.

Ooohhhh, Stop the presses!! This just in...my teenager just told me I'm smart!! (I had to put that in print so I could come back to it someday) And now, the rest of the story:


This is our guy who does his own thing, forges his own path, marches to the beat of a different drummer, (am I missing any more?)! Little A. is a wanderer, oh, he's a wanderer, he gets around, around, around...(catchy little tune!). Here is what I captured the other day (and be prepared to be slightly grossed out!!)
This kid is a water bug, if it's wet, he's there! Overflowing bathroom sinks, muddy messes outside, water on our air hockey table...he never denies it, just can't 'splain it!
Mmmmm, a delightfully refreshing drink of ice cold, crisp clean water from the garden hose...oh, what's that you say Dad, you're WHAT??? Draining the nasty dirty hot tub water?! Aaarrgghhh, spititoutspititoutSPITITOUT!!!!! Oh, for serious...my kiddo just glugged a ton of hot tub water, and…

Swing batta, batta!

We had a fabulous time this past weekend, enjoying our first U13 traveling baseball tournament of the year! I guess I could've thought of more glamorous ways to spend my Mother's Day, but without my kiddos (especially this one, who first made me a mother!) I wouldn't be celebrating Mom's Day!
My retirement plan: Guess they lifted the "Swine Flu No Handshaking Ban"! First place!!!An added bonus to the b-ball filled weekend, a hotel room stay! Tiny girl got her first hotel experience and dove right in, which won't surprise any who know her! She, of course, headed straight to the bathroom, where she proceeded to unroll the toilet paper--I didn't catch on until she came out with a ribbon of TP trailing her (I was enjoying the benefits of WiFi!!).
Little stink...always has to be climbing!The fam enjoying the 'telly', we don't have such luxuries at home! They lapped it up, got in as much TV time as they could...who am I kidding? So did I! Ace of Cak…

Not Me! Monday

I've never looked so forward to Mondays before! But ever since finding MckMama's blog and learning about Not Me! Mondays, I've come to find that Mondays are pretty darn entertaining! Well, okay, so last Monday was my first NMM experience, but man, did I enjoy myself! So I'm back, for my sophomore attempt...here we go!

I have a slight shoe fetish, and I enjoy shopping for shoes like I enjoy breathing. Shoes give me life, particularily bold colored flats. While shopping for said flats with my totally awesome mother, I was admiring my beautifully shod feet, but couldn't quite get the complete look with my jeans on. So I rolled them up and bit, and egads!!, there on my knee was my worst nightmare...a woodtick. So, I kinda freaked out, yelling getitoffGETITOFFGETITOFFcalmly asked my mom to please remove it for me. What kind of grown adult freezes when facing a woodtick? Not Me!

So, I'm a nurse, I mean, you know, besides being a mom. Earlier in the week I came down wit…

Virtual Mediocrity!

So, after my recent brush with the law, (whew, gladI caught it before, um, anyone else!), I discovered a little somethin' 'bout myself. I once thought I was a clever, witty, verbally creative person...but, boy, this virtual world sure is humbling!

When I thought of the original address (is it URL? I'm still new to this jargon...) for my blog, I thought, "mymamalogue...isn't that creative? A cute play on words?" Turns out, unbeknownst to me, that someone beat me to the punch, and trademarked it! Holy smokes, my heart was pounding as I imagined legal fees, trials, losing my home, my car, spending the rest of my life in prison calmly began my search for a new address.

Then, as I was searching for more creative names to use for my URL (did I get it right?), I found that everything was taken. Everything. I'd think I'd come up with the most clever, original phrase, play on words, and, yup, you got it...taken. Bum-mer. And that's how I ended up with fivecr…

Yikes!

Okay, so I know I just posted, but...HOLY CRAP!!! I was playing around on the net and found out I am in violation of a registered trademark by using this name! Stay posted, I will be changing the URL to my blog!!!

My Gig (other than wife and mother)

Wow! So "Not Me! Monday" turned out to be more fun than I ever anticipated! I got over 800 hits to my blog, which I certainly know is due to the traffic from MckMama's blog my fantastic creative writing abilities. Um, yeah...so, anyway, thought I'd throw a blog out there related to my moonlighting practice as a labor and delivery nurse! (Quick little disclaimer: Do not take this as medical advice. Please contact your health care provider...or something like that, right?)

I love the calls that go something like this:

Patient: Um, this is my first baby, I'm due tomorrow and I just had two contractions in the last hour. They didn't really hurt, but I'm afraid of making it there on time. Do you think I should come in?

Here's what I'd like to say:
Well, do you live two days away? 'Cuz if you do, then certainly, you might want to think about maybe getting packed and possibly starting your drive. But take your time.

Patient: But I lost my mucous plug!

Here…