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Missing him.

Sitting in a quiet house, up early (because: Daylight Saving Time) and my thoughts are filled with my little brother. Most days I am doing well; I can talk about Jack with ease, laugh and smile at the memories I have of him, and talk with my kids about the lessons Jack’s life has taught us...but this morning? This morning the tears are quick to come. It started with a text from one of our Deacons at church letting me know today’s mass intention was for Jack and that he is praying for him. Then I realized it was 4 months ago today that we learned Jack had passed away...and when I think back to that day, when I allow myself to go back to that moment in time, in my parents driveway, finding out that my brother was gone forever, the grief washes over me like a fresh wave.

I know that these tough days are par for the course, that for the rest of my life I will be caught up in a wave of grief now and then, but I also know that I need to choose joy. I need to choose happiness, mostly for myse…
Recent posts

My Beloved Gram

Oh, my friends. Where do I start?

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of heartbreak and abundant love.

On September 26th, after fighting Myasthenia Gravis for so many years, my grandma left this earth...and took a piece of my heart with her. I miss her so much, but feel guilty for wishing she were still here as she had suffered and declined so much in the last few months, but oh, my heart. I have realized that I miss my healthy Gram. The Gram I used to cook with and laugh with and shop with and talk with. Her disease took the best of her and I am grateful she is no longer suffering, but nonetheless, my heart aches.

The blessings in the midst of the heartache were beautiful, however. I was able to tell her goodbye and that I loved her so much, while she was still lucid. I never, ever want to forget her heartfelt reply, "Oh, I love you TOO much."

My sweet Gram, I love you too much, too.

She taught me so much and I swear to you, every childhood memory I have includes my g…

Life: An Update

Oh, my friends. So much has happened since that last snowy post in April!! First of all, SPRING CAME!!! Yahoo!! Dare I even say, SUMMER CAME!! (And, possibly went, too, but that is still left to be determined!)

We Minnesotan's like to joke "I hope summer falls on a weekend this year". Thankfully, it appears to have done just that...with temps in the 90ºs on Memorial Day weekend. Now, we're a cool low 70ºs...blech. Gimme the heat, man! (I promise my husband isn't a grumpy guy...he just doesn't like to smile for the camera!)

Anyway, life is plugging along, as it usually does with the days flying by and me wondering where on earth the time is going. We have just about 2 weeks of summer vacation under our belts and I'm perplexed at how I now have one kid grown and raised and graduated from college, one high school junior, a freshman, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. If anyone can tell me where the last 10 years went, that'd be great. 😳

My sweet big girl atten…


As we sit here in Minnesota, digging out from an epic spring snowstorm, it's easy to get down and out about the weather. It can feel like spring is never going to come and we have just entered into eternal winter, like Narnia.

Only, we know better. We've done this before and sure, last year at this time we had green grass and flip flops, but we KNOW it is going to turn.

And if we just take a moment to appreciate the really is amazing. Yes, I'd much rather have birds chirping and flowers blooming but gracious...have you ever stopped to soak in the warmth of the sun after getting walloped by a spring snow?

It is glorious. 

There is something kind of amazing in feeling the warmth of the sun from above while the earth around you is blanketed in cold.

I'm getting anxious for those flip flops...but for now, I'll just be content with the beauty around me.

Well...Long Time, No See!

*Blows dust off blog*

Well...hello there! 

How are ya'll out there in the world wide web? Does anyone even read blogs anymore? Or are vlogs are the rage nowadays? Lemme tell you something: vlogger I am not. I would rather chew my right arm off than edit 24 hours worth of video footage down to 15 minutes. CHEW IT RIGHT OFF, my friends.

And, also: I can't watch vlogs at work (noisy) but I can read a blog here and there! So, if blogging is a dying art, I am gonna go down fighting! I won't cave THAT easy.

Anyway, it's been awhile since you and I have spent any time together, hasn't it?! My last post was a recap of my trip to Oklahoma with my bestie to see Ree Drummond's Mercantile. And...I'm sorta embarrassed to do that math, but I'll save YOU the mental math on this one...that road trip was last June. As in, 7 months ago!

7. Crazy. Months.

Remember when I said that I was going to blog EVERY SINGLE DAY last year? I started strong(ish) (okay, not that strong) and …

My Oklahoma Adventure!

At the end of June, my bestie and I took off on the adventure of a lifetime. We frequently referred to it as our "Thelma and Louise" roadtrip, but realized that probably wasn't even close to the truth!

No Brad Pitt, no driving off cliffs, waaaaaayyyyyy more tame than good ol' Thelma and Louise, but still A TON of fun!

Way back in February, when I turned 40, T suggested we take a roadtrip to The Pioneer Woman's new Mercantile store. Knowing that a visit to the Merc ranked about as high on our husbands' list of things to do as, oh, say, having their toenails pulled out one-by-one, (now, if it were a Drummond Ranch working visit, then yes, both of our hard working, farm boy husbands would be eager to roadtrip to Oklahoma!! Crazy working fools that they are!) we figured we should make the trip with just the two of us. Days and days of uninterrupted girl time...YES PLEASE!

We set off on a Monday evening, stopped for a relaxed bite to eat in the Twin Cities, and head…

What Happened?

I've suddenly found myself at an interesting "phase" of life. I'm now that mom who looks at her friends with young babies and I feel everything. EVERYTHING.




Like, when did I suddenly become the "old" mom of the group?

And, where did my babies go?

And, how on earth do I have a 21 year old?! TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD, PEOPLE! How can that be when I feel like I'm only 26?!

Surely someone is playing tricks on me.

But then, something happens and I smacked upside the head with the reality that yes, indeed, I am that "old" mom. For example, my middle child broke his hand a couple of weeks ago. Broke a bone in his hand clear teeny little fracture or anything, but a bonafide break. 

Once upon a time I would've been sick with worry. Probably teary eyed and weepy over the whole thing. I would've made him a bed on the couch and he would've gotten gifts to wish him well and I probably would've written a blog post about whi…