Monday, January 4, 2010

So...You Didn't Know You Were Pregnant?, it's been awhile since we've "talked shop" (maybe I should spell that "shoppe"'s cuter that way...)...a loooong while.

Too long.

So, here ya go! The first "talkin' shoppe" post of the New Year!

It kills, no...scratch that. It baffles me wee lil' mind, how people don't know they're pregnant.

How's that happen?

And, geez...I guess it happens so often, that TLC even has a show about it...but, then again...what don't they have a show 'bout?!!

Wait...wait! I know! They don't have a show 'bout Jon and Kate! ;)

(And, for the record...I do have some pretty fantastic stories...however there's this thing called HIPPA...and the stories are so remarkable and memorable, that I'm quite certain I'd lose my job if I told any of them! Sorry...)

Anywho...carrying on...

So many signs. So, stinkin' many does one write it all off?

No period? Stress, wacky cycles, exercise...yadda yadda...

Queasiness? Virus, ate something bad (um...yeah, over and over and over for weeks?)...

Big/sore boobs? I can't think of any excuses for this one.

Fatigue so all consuming you could sleep for 24 hours a day and still not feel rested.

Not to mention the trips to the bathroom.

But the kicker (HA! Pun intended!!)...the "holy smokes howintheheck did you not notice" sign for movement.

Yikes...I mean...gosh. Dude, those are some crazy active bowels and freaky gas bubbles you've got going on...if you think that is a normal feeling...for months on

I just can't wrap my mind around it.

Separately...maybe, yeah...I'll give it to you. Lot's of people skip periods or have wacky cycles...busy at work? Yup, maybe you're tired.

But, come on!! There is no way anyone can convince me that you can write off every. single. stinkin'. pregnancy sign.

Add it up, sweet young all makes sense! There has got to be just a smidge...just an inkling of a hint that, "huh...somethin's not normal here"...dontcha think?

And, um...can we go back to that movement thing?

That baby...that crazy Alien-esque movement that we feel when we are pregnant? The elbows jutting out our abdomens?

The heels making that telltale sweeping feeling?

Or, how 'bout the baby stretching? You know...when your belly takes on corners and loses it's oblong shape?

Yeah. How can one not notice that?

Either they have some major issues with constipation...or they've got some crazy denial skills.

I'm hedging on the crazy denial skills!

And to that I say...just love that babe. If that babe is not what you saw in your future...there are thousands and thousands of wonderful couples who would love to do nothing more than love that babe as their own.

I promise. It'll all be okay...sweet young mother...for your health and safety...notice the signs, and see a doctor.

Wise woman once say:

"She who can't see she is pregnant...needs to take a closer a look."


  1. I have thought this soooo many times. Agreed.

  2. Hey Nurse Mama M .. . do you ever see these types of patients in the hospital? women who come in and claim to have not known? I just can't imagine NOT knowing--course I knew from the week I concieved that I was preggers--and at 18 was filled with panic about it--and then figured it out--and then it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm just sayin' My cousin "claims" to have not known til she was about 6 months along .. . and I'm pretty sure she was lying.
    Anyway, just curious if you see real life cases of this or if it's just the crazy women on the tv show who actually claim this.

  3. Yeah, I have NEVER understood this either. For me the kicker is the movement, just like you said. I just don't get it. Denial, serious denial!

  4. Yeah, I have NEVER understood this either. For me the kicker is the movement, just like you said. I just don't get it. Denial, serious denial!

  5. Yes...we see it. But, typically, it's a teenager who presents with "abdominal pain" and proceeds to quickly deliver a baby.

    Denial? Yes. Didn't know? No.

    (See, and this is why I am considering Disqus...the reply back option!!)

  6. Great topic! Have you watched that show? I mean the period thing fine, wacky cycles, or even bleeding that resembles a period but everything else? I mean even if you don't gain a lot of weight!! I want to talk to these women! Do you think its all mental. Like oh I am pregnant so I must eat and must gain weight? When I first saw the show the women were well a little overweight, even a lot. So I thought maybe that was it and the baby moving was not noticeable. But some of them were not heavy at all! I mean by 7-8 months there are elbows and heels poppin out everywhere. That is my fav part of being preggers, how do you miss that or chalk that up to indigestion! I dont know, I gained weight, had heart burn, back pains, huge boobs with a matching tummy. At some point you would think you would see a doctor. I dont know, even if you are basically symptom free there is a baby with bones and a big head growing in there, hard to miss! Well I guess it is not so hard to miss!!

  7. just crack me up!!! I'm totally with you on this one and it just boggles my mind that they truly have a show about this. To be honest...I can't really watch it because I have so many comments coming out of my mouth that I don't even hear what they are I just don't watch!! ;)

    Anyway, another great post!

  8. I totally don't get this one! It HAS to be complete denial. Yeah, the other signs whatever but the fact that you can literally see feet and elbows poking out of your stomach...NO WAY dude!! I was watching 'I didn't know I was pregnant' the other week and the lady delivered twins not knowing she was pregnant. TWINS! The ones that really kill me are the ones that already have a bunch of kids. Just crazy to me!

  9. I can't count the number of times when I was working as a doula that I would get a call from the ER and they would say "patient came in complaining of abdominal pain and she is 8 centimeters dilated" and when we would ask about prenatal care, etc. we would be told there wasn't any because the patient didn't know they were pregnant. And when you see them...they look pregnant! Hello...didn't anyone (especially a parent) say anything to them? Yep, I think it's denial instead of not knowing.

  10. Wow. Yeah, I agree. I mean, its a lot of stuff to just brush off.

  11. I so agree. I was never lucky enough to have so few symptoms to be able to blame it on something else.

  12. While I was pregnant with my boys (now ages 11 & 13), they beat the living daylights out of me from beyond the bellybutton. My youngest daughter, Jillian, was the extreme opposite. I barely felt her move, maybe 2-3 times the whole pregnancy? Not for lack of trying -- I kept worrying about not feeling her, kept paying attention, and nothing... nada. It wasn't a weight thing, I lost 46lbs when pregnant with her, I was all belly.

    BUT... I knew I was pg with her :)

  13. I was a little like the "I didn't know I was pregnant" type people... but NOT for the whole pregnancy. I had a few pregnancy symptoms, but I did dismiss them for 4 months, WHY? Because I was still having a "period". I thought, nah, I can't be pregnant. I did take a pregnancy test at around what would have been 3 months (I thought that would explain things), but it came back negative!!! Around 4 1/2 months, that's when I started having the whole whoah, something has to be wrong here and finally went to the doctor. The urine test came back negative... but the blood test came back positive... I am an oddity of human nature! LOL

  14. I sure don't understand how people don't know they are pregnant.
    I mean how can you not notice that something is beating the crap out of your ribs from the inside out!! Or the weight gain. My husband would nicely say um hun, what's up with all the belly weight?

  15. This used to baffle me too, UNTIL my niece, who is 35 had a baby this past October, without knowing!

    She is very smart, and very responsible, so I know that she wasn't in denial, or anything, she would have gotten prenatal care if she knew! She seriously thought she had a terrible kidney infection, and went to the ER, and was in labor!

    An hour later, out popped my cute cousin, who weighed 7 pounds!
    The doctors told her that he was a true miracle, since she had no clue she was pregnant, she had regular periods & was still taking her birth control every month!

    Apparently, the baby was wedged up under her rib cage, and didn't move.. because we all know that we can feel them moving! :)

    Never though something like this would happen so close to home.. but it is an amazing story, that our family was so blessed by! :)

  16. when i saw that show i thought WOW, maybe that is why i have this extra hundred pounds on me. i am pragnant and do not know it. LOL.
    i wish you could tell stories, i do read a blog of a night nurse who tells stories. they are so fun and encouraging and scarry

  17. ahahahh I know! There was one girl on the show that was pregnant for the third time and didnt know she was until she delivered it on the bathroom floor!!!! Really hard to believe these stories, I'm with you on this!

  18. You didn't mention the hiccups....all my babies had hiccups all the time!!!! How could you not notice a weird sensation like that coming from your belly!!!! I guess not every baby will have the hiccups while in their mommy's tummy....but yeah I don't know how you could not know!

  19. First of all awesome post! Second I felt like an alien had taken over my body the first time I got pregnant. There is no way I wouldn't have known and seriously what about at the end. The shortness of breath the inability to bend over and put on your own shoes or even see your toes?? Come on now. I agree with the DENIAL skillz and there are so many people who want babies sooo bad!!

  20. Okay, have you been peeking inside my head?!? I have thought these thoughts so many times! I have been pregnant 4 times and KNEW something wasn't right very early on, so it AMAZES me that some women say they had no idea! Yeah, right! Loved this post.

  21. Great subject!!! I have seen the show on TLC and Discovery Health and every time I can't help but do you NOT know???

  22. I completely agree!! How is it even possible not to know?? Denial, or they are just used to having some funky body problems.

  23. I sometimes catch that show and think the same thing. There is no way you could not know, absolutley no way to deny that you are pregnant!!!! HELLO!!!


  24. Thanks for dropping by my blog... I heart yours! Good topic. I'm one of those who is raising her hand, waving her hand, jumping up and down.....(you get my point) who would LOVE a child.

  25. I have heard of this before and I find it so hard to believe! I know of two women that were like 7 months along before they knew! How crazy. When I had my own little baby I really couldn't imagine how they didn't know! Oh well, maybe they thought, like you said, there was some crazy digestion thing going on! haha

  26. i don't really get it either but that is because i had really severe symptoms and always knew. i saw that show once and it seems like all of the adults say that they have pcos or something else and have irregular periods anyway, going months without one or they say they did have periods the whole time. they also say they did not feel the baby moving. my daughter didn't do the stretching thing and was very low so her movements were not so noticeable. i have pcos and huge huge huge cysts so i have been dealing with the constant peeing issue for years and years. it doesn't get any worse when i am pregnant. i also feel every gas bubble moving around in there and it feels like a baby moving. it freaks me out sometimes. if they were dealing that those type of issues anyway they might not notice. many of them also say they were told they could not have kids. if i were told i were not able to have kids i would probably not think my symptoms were pregnancy related. some of them even took pregnancy tests and got a false negative! i only saw two or three episodes one night but all of the ladies were so excited because they had wanted kids for so long and it didn't work. what an awesome surprise!

  27. Oh man that show kills me on TLC. I actually knew a girl who gave birth without ever knowing she was pregnant. I saw her around 7 months and could not tell myself but I knew every second of my pregnancy that I was pregnant.

  28. Oh man that show kills me on TLC. I actually knew a girl who gave birth without ever knowing she was pregnant. I saw her around 7 months and could not tell myself but I knew every second of my pregnancy that I was pregnant.

  29. I don't pretend to know HOW it happens, but it does. I have an acquaintance (no HIPPA restrictions here) who came home from a birthday party with her younger children to find that while she was gone her 18 year old son helped deliver her 17 year old daughter's baby boy.

    No one in the family knew that she was pregnant including the 17 year old. A mom of 5 kids herself didn't realize that her daughter was pregnant. Seriously. It was shocking!

    I myself took 9 weeks to figure out our surprise pregnancy. One day I just felt pregnant, but the several preceding weeks I felt nothing.

    Who knows.

  30. I'd say they'd have to know, but really, some people don't figure it out till they are pretty far along. I can't imagine not knowing at the end of the third tri, but who knows. I was well into my second trimester before I figured out we were expecting our second - and I am a pretty petite, thin gal! We were shocked!

  31. As someone with two babies and another on the way, who knew I was pregnant before my period was due each time, I still *think* I can see how a person might miss it. Maybe. I was not very sick with my first two, although in both cases I had regular symptoms that would likely have clued me in anyway. However, I assume there are some people out there who really don't have any symptoms.

    I know of someone to whom this recently happened (she found out at 8 months pregnant that she was due a month later). She is in her 40's, and she thought the lack of a period was menopause. She likely attributed other 1st tri symptoms to that as well. She is fairly overweight, so I can see where she wouldn't have noticed the belly. As for movement, although I don't know about her, I do know I have a friend who, while pregnant with her daughter, constantly worried because she couldn't feel movement. It turned out she had anterior placenta, which made it harder to feel the baby moving.

    Put all of these types of things together, and I guess I can see where a person might legitimately not know they are pregnant.

    I can't see it ever happening to me, though. :) (Ha, famous last words, right?)

    I thought this was an interesting enough topic to click over from what you posted on MckMama's community. Now I'm following you, and I look forward to seeing what else you'll write about! I'm sure you have a very interesting perspective on a lot of things, being a L&D nurse and a Mama of 5!

  32. Ha! I have watched that show and think the same.exact.thing!

  33. so i do think some of the woman are just crazy they even admit they had movement, sore, ect yet didnt think they were pregnant...BUT my close friend was pregnant and they had been trying so she knew from the begininng but there were hardly any signs at all, she gained like 10lbs even though she ate all the time but other than that she barely ever felt him moving and her doc said everything was still perfect. oh and she was super skinny to start with so even though my pregnancy was very very obivious i can see how it happens

  34. I think its so crazy that girls dont know when their pregnant! I have wacky periods..I have one like every 4 months, so it makes me nervous that i wont know i'm pregnant right away b/c of that. But, i think i would still know!

    I worked with a girl that was pregnant, she was already big in the tummy, but it kept growing, and getting more round! I knew she was pregnant, but she never went to the doctor. She finally went and she was 6 months prego! So crazy! I think she was scared and in denial that she was pregnant!

    I thought you were able to talk about stories just not with the real names with HIPPA?

  35. I don't understand this either. I was the director of a DV shelter and we had a couple of clients that claimed they didn't know they were pregnant. One woman delivered her baby a few days after arriving to shelter and she claimed she didn't know. Denial. She has so many other things happening in her life it was easier to shelve the pregnancy for 9 months. Sad.

    I haven't watched the show, so I want to ask if the women are happy after the birth? Are they excited to have their baby?

  36. I DO have to agree with you, it is pretty crazy!
    Especially since when I was pregnant, it looked like I was carrying a watermelon.. there was no "not knowing" with me! :)

  37. I'm with a few people above - I thought ppl were crazy to "not know" - until it happened to my best friend.

    She was one of those little size 6 girls - no belly - no symptoms - chronically irregular period. I was in a dressing room with her 2 weeks before delivery and she looked NORMAL. Got a phone call one morning that she had just delivered a full term baby girl (who luckily is FINE, even though Momma was on b.c. the entire pregnancy and there was no prenatal care)...everyone's first response was, "but, *** wasn't pregnant!" I guess she had a retroverted (sp?) uterus and that explained a lot of the reasons she didn't feel the movement, have the weight gain, etc.

    So yeah, call me a believer now. I DO think there are a lot of "denialists" out there, but it CAN happen!

  38. Great post!

    True story for me..I'm currently 3 weeks late for AF, tired as can be, my breasts are tender, feel queasy on and off, but two prego tests are still coming up negative. I just don't get what the heck is going on! If I hadn't taken the tests, I would be so sure I was pregnant, but since they were both negative I'm going to say the fault is: Christmas shopping stress, mom of four kids exhaustion, hormonal issues making bb's sore and I have a bug making me feel off. sigh...

  39. I'd be able to miss it early I think. Often times, I've wondered if I was pregnant now. I know I "can't" be. I've had normal periods. I haven't had excessive weight gain. I haven't ever gotten sick with any of my children (until the end). Anymore, I have butterfly kicks numerous times a day... but I'm not pregnant (read it as gas bubbles). If they miss their period I don't see how they don't suspect... however, I've heard of those who have babies and have a period through the whole thing. *shurgs* I dunno. Some of the stories make me think "Why didn't you test?" But some of the stories I can see.

  40. I've never even had a child but I cannot fathom not knowing!

    Funny post (o:

  41. Yeah, I'm a TLC junkie and my favorite was this 5'5" 130-lbish woman saying she gave birth to TWINS (both about 5lb) and said she never knew! TWINS?! You have GOT to be kidding me! Whack-job.

  42. I agree with you! I watch it and feel baffled every single time. I found out I was pregnant with baby #1 a month after I turned 20. I was young but still knew something was just not right. My boobs hurt so much that the touch of a bra on them made me in so much pain. I had never experienced that. And oh I never eve felt that sick before in my life. Walked to the store while my husband (yes I married young at 19 no out of wedlock baby) and was at work. Sure enough a test was positive!!!! She is now going to be 5 in April and we adore her! I think it is better to not be in denial and have 9 + months to prepare yourself instead of having to deal wtih it all of a sudden when baby is born and you are now a mother literally overnight!

  43. As someone who is VERY newly pregnant, I am already so sick, and wondering how I will keep taking care of my other kids, that I could only hope to be one of these people that "didn't know." Even if I could not know for a couple of months, I'd take it!
    I always love your "line of work" posts. I was just telling my sister that she would like your blog.

  44. I have to say, though, when I was pregnant I was almost two and a half months along before I found out. I was not sick. Yes, I missed a period, but this is coming from someone who pretty much NEVER got a regular period (which, now that we're actually TRYING to conceive, REALLY sucks!) -- I think it would have been more abnormal for me to HAVE a period than to not have one! I didn't have sore boobs and they didn't change size very much! The first thing that made me think I just might be was the emotional breakdown I had that came out of nowhere. I took a test a couple of hours later and was completely surprised to find it was positive ... and that the four sticks I peed on after that were positive, too! I went in for a dating ultrasound the next week and promptly miscarried the week after my ultrasound. It was a whole lot of suck! I just had found out, was just starting to get excited (and understanding my slight weight gain!) and then that was it.

    So yes, I was one of those women who didn't know - but there really WEREN'T any signs!!

  45. I have never been able to bring myself to watch this show, because I can you NOT know????? How????

  46. I love reading your stories about being a L&D nurse - you are hysterically funny. I have often wondered the same thing. Although I must admit that I was pregnant with my son for about a month before I really knew it. It was summer and I had been trying on these cute summer outfits at Kohls and I just seemed to "fill them out" a bit better than before. I thought "daaaaang, I look good in this!" and proceeded to buy two of whatever shirt it was. A week later I realized I was pregnant. DOH!

  47. Love this post, really do.
    You are so true. And apart from all these signs - the baby's growing and don't tell me that the belly of a pregnant one doesn't grow...
    Cool, that there's a show about it.

  48. Okay, true story.

    Sales guy at work went home on Friday. Came back on Monday a GRANDPA and didn't know his daughter was pregnant. She SAYS she didn't know, but the family thinks she was in denial. She didn't have morning sickness, but you said ALIEN MOVEMENT! It is cool but sort of creepy the first time around.

  49. Lol! Completely agree! I cannot see how for the life of me anyone wouldn't know. But.. oh me... oh my... is that a baby coming out!!.... must go....!

  50. I bumped onto your website and I know this conversation is old however I have 2 bits to offer. I knew a lady who had like 13 children or more I didjnt ever count them, but she was the grandma to one of my best friends. My best friends mother told us that her mother didnt find out she was PG with my friends mother until she was 6 months along, she had been breastfeeding her previous baby and her body didn't ever start monthly cycles and she was the typical round mother from ALL the other babys so it wasnt until the baby started kicking that she even found out. Then the baby was born 6 weeks early so she felt like she had the shortest successful oregnancy ever. I just want to share that experience with you

  51. I've watched the show and even had friends that have said they didn't know they were pregnant. I have a problem just like a few of the epople on the show. They take the pregnancy tests(blood and urine) and they come out negative. Most people once they see a neagtive blow that idea from their mind and think nothing of it. Once they have the bleeding like a period it seals the deal for them. Sometimes you have to say the heck with the tests answers and go with your gut. If most of those who still had the thought to take a test for 4 or more months took the time to go to the doctor and make them prove they are wrong about their suspicions they'd have known they were pregnant. Especially the first time mothers.


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