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My Beloved Gram

Oh, my friends. Where do I start?

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of heartbreak and abundant love.

On September 26th, after fighting Myasthenia Gravis for so many years, my grandma left this earth...and took a piece of my heart with her. I miss her so much, but feel guilty for wishing she were still here as she had suffered and declined so much in the last few months, but oh, my heart. I have realized that I miss my healthy Gram. The Gram I used to cook with and laugh with and shop with and talk with. Her disease took the best of her and I am grateful she is no longer suffering, but nonetheless, my heart aches.

The blessings in the midst of the heartache were beautiful, however. I was able to tell her goodbye and that I loved her so much, while she was still lucid. I never, ever want to forget her heartfelt reply, "Oh, I love you TOO much."

My sweet Gram, I love you too much, too.

She taught me so much and I swear to you, every childhood memory I have includes my grandma and grandpa. We lived with them for a short period of time and we spent so much time with them, that they are woven through all of my childhood experiences and memories. The bond we had carried into adulthood...Gram was my "person" for so many years.

My Gram was the "textbook" grandma. She baked with me and taught me to cook and loved me unconditionally and put me first and was always there for me. I regret not spending more time with her these last few years, as life became increasingly all consuming with a household of busy kids. I pray she knows how very much I loved her.

Let me also tell you how incredibly, unbelievably grateful I am that we spent time cooking together for this blog. My "In the Kitchen with Gram" posts are even sweeter to me now. To know that she and I spent that time together, doing what she loved most (cooking) and teaching me all the tricks and tips she had is so comforting to me. I cherish that time we had together even more now. 

Friends, call your grandma and your grandpa and tell them how much they mean to you, how much you love them, and how grateful you are for them. Our time with them is so fleeting.


  1. So sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was a wonderful woman.

  2. Oh, I'm very sorry for your loss.
    I've been away from the blogging scene for quite a while, but am slowly moving back to it, and yours was one I remembered fondly, so I dropped back in to check. I was very sorry to see such a sad update. I hope that your memories will bring you peace and comfort as you go through this difficult time.


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