Oh my aching heart. All week long, I tried to be so strong for you two...encouraging you and cheering you on and talking you through your doubts and fears regarding camp.
(Even while dad tried to sabotage my efforts with his, "But I don't want you to go! I'm going to miss you!!" exclamations. Ugh.)
Then today, sweet girl, you nearly broke me. When you clung to your dad and your soft whimpers escaped your mouth? You nearly did me in. I wanted to scoop you up and tell those camp people, "On second thought...forget it. We're outta here." and all the while your brother grinned with excitement.
I'll be honest, it was he that I was most worried about, not you, sweet girl. You with your quiet confidence, your maturity, your determination. I thought you'd breeze right through this. I think, if you had had a friend along, that it would have made it a bit easier...what I hope you'll discover over the next few days is that you do, indeed, have a friend along. 7 of them, actually, who you first knew as strangers. I hope and pray that you'll connect with them. Maybe not all of them, but at least one. Or two. They seemed like nice girls...each of them that we met, and my prayer is that you create new friendships and find someone that you connect with.
And sweet boy, I sure hope you sail through the week as well as you did our good-byes. I hope you and Austin (I am so, so grateful you have a friend along!) have a blast and make new friends, as well.
In that moment of good-byes, my mama heart was crumpling. I was fighting tears and trying to dig down deep for the strength I knew you needed. The ride home wasn't any easier and I kept asking God to be with you. To soothe your worry and give you peace and confidence to not only make it through this week, but to be able to enjoy it.
So now, I sit. Tears at the ready. Constantly refreshing the camp blog to see if I can catch a glimpse of you, to read your faces and body language to make sure you're okay.
I love you both so much and already miss you like crazy.
Friday can't come soon enough...