Monday, May 14, 2012

Dear Intestines:

Dearest Intestines:


We need to talk...why? WHY do you insist on being so mean to me? What have I ever done to you? (You know, aside from feeding you that liter of Captain Morgan that one night, long, long ago...*shudder*)


Just when I think all is well with the inner workings of my digestive system, you go and BUCK THE SYSTEM. Dude. All I ask of you is to quietly (and non-malodorously) collect the waste from my body and gently (key word here...GENTLY) remind me when it needs to be removed.


This grinding, clawing, clenching, twisting, tearing, squeezing that's going on whenever I try to feed you? It sucks. You need to knock it off.


However, if you would take a few extra pounds with you before you decide to straighten out, that would be fine...because otherwise?


This is totally not worth it.


Please behave,

4 comments:

  1. Oh this made me laugh, only because I feel your pain!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally could have authored this post! I hear ya, honey, I hear ya!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW! I thought I was alone! I literally get "intestineaches" everyday at some point during the day!
    You as always put a comical spin to it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahaha so nice... :) Loved your blog
    Keep updating

    ReplyDelete

I love comments! And, I welcome your thoughts that aren't in agreement with mine...as long as they are respectful!

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