Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Last night, I made a mistake.


Two weeks ago tonight, I made a decision that turned out to be a very good one.


I'll admit, when I decided to take Belle to the ER, I second guessed myself the whole way there.

Was I overreacting? Was I going to be "one of those moms"? Is she really as sick as I think she is?

Those thoughts were on continuous play through my mind. I am equal parts entirely relieved that I made the decision to go and angry with myself for letting it go on as long as it did. And even angrier because of something else.

I made the mistake of googling things associated with appendicitis. "Peritonitis" was the big one I was googling...and mainly because, in the deep recesses of my mind, I am afraid that by me not seeing the signs of Belle's appendicitis, that I may have caused her long term damage.

She has some important, and very delicate, parts in the general vicinity of her appendix that she will need later in life to become a mommy...and I was/am so afraid that her infection might have caused some damage to those parts. So afraid, in fact, that I haven't even voiced this anywhere else...to anyone else.

BUT...while I was googling "appendicitis" and "peritonitis", there was something else that frightened me to my core. The words "mortality rate" and "sepsis" leaped off the screen at me. I know peritonitis is very serious...but I guess I didn't know just how serious and dangerous it could be.

While we were in the hospital, I don't think I really grasped the danger that our sweet girl was in...and now that we're out of it...I can say that I am somewhat relieved that I didn't realize at the time (or, maybe, my mind wouldn't let me go there) how sick our Belle was/could get.

What I now know, is that I am even more grateful for the care she received, for the wisdom of the doctors, for medical advancement, and, MOST OF ALL, for all of the prayers that were offered up for her.

God is good!!

Oh, and one more thing...Dr. Google is for the birds. Don't do what I did...you'll find yourself with information that leaves you with massive amounts of worry, and none to reassure you.

Stupid Dr. Google.


19 comments:

  1. Ugh...I can't read any medical stuff online. Last time I googled the rhinovirus (common cold), I saw the word "mortality" and decided that enough was enough.

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  2. Totally agree... Google is great for many things, but not when diagnosing ANYONE! I like to research growing tomatoes, worm farms, coupons, printable coloring pages... hehe... but searching for "lump on baby" was not something I ever did search. UGH! I can only imagine the worry I would have gotten from that one.

    Take care of your little one! So glad she is on the mend!
    Dee

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  3. A little knowledge can be dangerous with no context. Unfortunatly you can finds of info without true context on the web. You are a very good mommmy.
    ~Kimberlee
    {$15 Amazon GC Giveaway} 

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  4. No one is perfect, or psychic. You brought her in and she got the care she needed, so you did what you needed to do. Kudos!!

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  5. Google can do that sometimes...don't question yourself...you are a good mommy.

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  6. Sometime ignorance is bliss lol...you are a wonderful mom!

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  7. I am so happy to hear you are through that and everything is as it should be now! You are very right about Dr. Google, I do that all the time and only freak myself out. Continue to be very thankful for your Doctors because so many do not have health insurance, myself and my husband have none... The cost of living in Cali is extraordinary and we just don't have the luxury of medical insurance :(

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  8. You are a wonderful Momma, and that intuition came into play just when it needed to. I used to Google all the time, with all different aliments and scenarios, until my husband asked that I stop freaking myself out, and stop googling.....

    Praying for continued healing, may the coming days bring you the peace and rest, a good Momma like you deserves.

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  9. I totally understand! When I was preggo with my 3rd baby, I started having pain at 21 weeks. After I started throwing up repeatedly, my husband took me to the ER. THe doc on call didn't know what was wrong and sent me home. After I continued to throw up, I went back and MADE them do something. Turned out, my appendix was getting ready to burst. I was so scared!! Not really for me, but for my little baby. I debated and debated and then I called a friend whose husband is a doctor. He told me "Yes, there is a risk to the baby if you have the surgery, but if you don't, you are both dead." Well, obviously, I had the surgery and cried the whole time heading back and then afterwords just so scared that something would go wrong. Turned out all the worry was for nothing, I got along fine and so was my little man. But it was SO scary!!! FOund out later, had I waited about another hour the appendix would have burst inside me and it would have been SO SO much worse!!

    I'm glad your little girl is doing so much better!! I've been thinking of her.

    Theresa
    www.full-time-job.blogspot.com

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  10. I made the mistake of googling stuff about fluid in the kidneys during a prenatal ultrasound (Connor's were both filled), and totally wigged out. Dr. Google sucks.

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  11. Praise God your daughter is okay! I have googled medical things before and you are right. It only leads to unnecessary worry and grief. I choose to turn it over to God instead! Blessings!

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  12. Mama M please don't beat yourself up about it.
    I had my appendix out when I was 13. I'd had symptoms for almost 8 months and not said anything. My dad told me I got belly pains because I drank too much orange juice. Finally my appendix burst and into hospital I went. I have a huge scar because of the clean up they had to do due to it bursting.
    Fortunately I recovered well and pretty quick considering and all my girlie bits were safe and sound.
    So, please please don't beat yourself up and run through all the what-if's. Just love her and hug her (gently of course) and make sure she tells you if she feels any pain or discomfort.

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  13. I have a lot of serious medical problems, and I have to admit to seeking out Dr Google on a lot of occasions. Stupid stupid stupid for me to do that!!
    Praise God that Bella is ok.
    Dr Google you are fired!
    Dianne @
    http://buterflydreamz.blogspot.com/2011/04/wordless-wednesday.html

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  14. Stop by my blog, http://ar-acceptchange.blogspot.com. I've awarded you the Stylish Blogger Award!

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  15. I agree, Dr. Google is terrible...especially for a hypochondriac like myself. Any little ache or pain or even a common cold and the "Dr." says I could be dying!

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  16. Took our daughter to the ER once - not sure if she had broken her wrist when she fell while roller skating. Figured if they sent her home we were out some bucks - if they kept her - we did the right thing. Sure enough - she broke it!! Lesson - if you even THINK "ER" - GO!! If you don't - you will wish you had!

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  17. Look, as a husband and a father and a son, I know one thing and that is

    MOTHERS KNOW BEST! You did right. You wanted to be informed and you scared yourself. Its cool. Dont beat yourself up.

    Even though you read all that, you still did what mothers do..

    The RIGHT thing.

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  18. I completely understand. My almost five-month-old babe just got over RSV and I think I almost killed myself with the amount of Dr. Google I put into my head. I was beyond myself with the "what ifs", and I truly am not one to allow myself to do that!!

    You are a wonderful mama and you did the right thing. It's a great thing that God is watching over us because I really believe that He is the one who lets us know when it's time to put our children's care into the hands of someone else (the doctors).

    God really is good all the time - it's nice to be evidence of that! :)

    Hope you're doing well, friend!

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  19. You did the best you knew as a mom! And yes, Dr. Google does stink. When my daughter was in the NICU with GBS sepsis and pneumonia the one thing I didn't do was google. I was too scared!! I did the same thing you did though -- googled after the fact. It's good to know now, but it's scary as all get out. And yes, God is good!

    *I've stopped by a few times -- we're in the same BlogHer link group! I'm so glad Belle is feeling better!

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