Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Shark bait...A Talkin' Shop Post

It is time for me to get some consistency to my talkin' shop posts! I'm aiming for Tuesday's to be my Talkin' Shop day...if you have something you'd like me to touch on, send me an email, drop me a comment or leave me a thread in my community!

Carrying on...

I love my job.

Have I mentioned that before? That I love it? 'Cuz I do.

But, lemme tell ya...it's hazardous.

First, there was the Belly Fat incident, then there's the whole #2 in Second Stage (PS-did you know that you can read all of my past "Talkin' Shop" posts by clicking the button above, in my nav menu? It's true!!)..but, recently...I became (insert scary organ music here: duh duh duh duuuuuhhhhhh...):

Shark bait!!

I was taking care of a non-English speaking patient (which, I believe it is now PC to say "Limited English Proficiency", but I dunno...I can't keep up...), she was laboring. Laboring hard.

She had some friends with her...who were sympathetic to her, but not all that interested in helping her.

A contraction would come and, literally, take her to her knees. Writhing in pain and breathing through her contractions...her friends would "tsk tsk" and look at her with sympathetic eyes.

Some would rub her back as she swayed in pain, others would just watch, casting a pitiful glance in her direction here and there. I figured, heck...I'm a L&D nurse, I may as well jump right in and offer her some assistance.

I was only trying to help...she didn't want an epidural or a c-section...but she wasn't progressing. She was just plain old crazy in pain.


Yes, I said crazy. As in CAH-razy!! It's what pain can do to a girl.

As a contraction subsided, I was standing close to her...comforting her, encouraging her, cheering her on, rubbing her back...then...another contraction. And...I was too close.

She grabbed me around my waist, I thought, "Awww...she needs me!!", feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, and I started to rub her back, as the contraction intensified, she started to rock slightly.

Lot's of women do this...

Back and forth, back and forth.

Then, the contraction got stronger. And stronger and stronger and stronger...and as the strength of the contraction intensified, so did her rocking.

Until, I became...(duh duh duh duuuuuhhhhhh...)

Shark Bait!!!!

I realized I was in the grips of a ferocious beast, as I was being shook back and forth, back and forth, back and forth while her arms were wrapped around my body and her head buried in my bosom.

I grabbed for the siderail of the bed, so that I wouldn't actually be thrashed back and forth, widened my stance and rode out the storm of her contraction. I'm pretty sure I got whiplash.

Next contraction, I felt bad just leaving her...so I was prepared this time...no catching me off guard!! I rode the next one out with her.

By this time, her friends were thinking this whole...shark bait thing was pretty hilarious. If it weren't for the kink in my side, and my aching neck, I may have shared their sentiment. As it was, tho, I figured I'd just take one for the team.

I know how much labor hurts...so, I'd be her shark bait if that's what she needed.

Turns out what she needed was an epidural. The anesthesiologist walked in to give her his "do you want this" speech, and was privy to the shark bait scene from start to finish. His eyes got wide, his face serious, then, slowly, a smile and a chuckle crept to his face.

He thought it was pretty stinkin' funny. Until the next contraction...when it interrupted his business...then it "weren't so funny no mo'".

Needless to say, I was sore. For real. I'm not joking. I totally thought I hurt my back...or, rather, she hurt my back...but all's well that ends well.

And, that whole scene ended with a healthy baby.

I'd say that's pretty darn "well".

Signing off,
Your favorite shark bait


  1. Oh.my.goodness!!


    I am laughing SO HARD. You tell a good tale my friend!! You poor thing.


  2. That's great!

    I love these posts...they're especially timely for me right now! Thanks for sharing! :)

  3. I would like to see you do a post on pre-eclampsia, and on how serious it can be. I was only slightly pre-eclamptic at the end of my first pregnancy but instead of going away after delivery, it escalated to me having a seizure 2 days after going home! Now I tell every pregnant woman I know to refuse to leave the hospital if their blood pressure is even a tiny bit high. I wish I would have known.

    Cute post, I can picture tiny little you being tossed around! That was very nice of you, I bet you're good at your job.

  4. haha! that's hilarious. Well, maybe not for you. but for us, yes. And this is also the reason why I think everyone should have an epidural. Surely that lady can't look back on her labor and say that she "enjoyed" it.

  5. ok so I laughed at that one! I will remember when I go into labor that my husband will be the shark bait (since he is the one that got me into this condition). haha....

  6. I can picture it, and I bet if you'd been on the sidelines, you'd have laughed too!

    I hope your pain subsides soon. :)

  7. Oh man!! I can hardly type, I am laughing so hard. Anyone have a video of this?? It can't be any better than what I'm picturing in my mind. TOO good. Thanks for sharing!

  8. I love your L&D stories. I was doing my practicum in L&D in April and one time my preceptor got grabbed around the neck of her scrub top by a woman in labor. I was worried about her for a second!! I couldn't help laughing though.


I love comments! And, I welcome your thoughts that aren't in agreement with mine...as long as they are respectful!


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