Something hit me tonight.
Weary, emotionally spent and physically exhausted after dealing with a strong-willed two year old and the rest of my gaggle, I was so ready for bedtime to come.
I needed bedtime like a heroine addict needs their next hit. I could feel it in my bones...bedtime had to come.
And it did. Just like it does every night...but something different happened tonight.
Tonight, as I was getting my Baby Girl ready to tuck in, I asked if she wanted to rock-a-bye. To my surprise (and delight) she said yes.
Baby Girl is NOT a snuggler...she's getting better, but she's not what I'd call a "warm fuzzy". As she lay against my chest and I rocked her by the light of the moon...I realized that this lap time is too short.
I could hear The Pal bustling around after baseball and I thought about how truly short lived our time is to have our children on our laps.
Developmentally, of course...but even more so, logistically. I look at my bigger kids and think how much I'd love to bundle them onto my lap for a snuggle...and sometimes I still do (well, not the Pal...he doesn't like lap time too much anymore! ;)...but it's different.
A baby fits so well in your arms, a two year old fits so well on your lap, a four year old can still swing it, but by six it gets a little awkward...legs are too long, bodies too big. So...logistically thinking...I've got about two(ish) years of "real" lap time left.
Two years.
That's it. (Oh, great...here come the tears...)
I hope and I pray that I will be the mom that my kids feel comfortable sitting on my lap until they are 80. Scratch that...make it until they're 60...I think I'd be too frail to have them sit on me if I were pushing 100.
Tonight...I soaked up my lap time. As much as I was looking forward to "me" time, I took those extra minutes and I loved up my baby...and when she told me "I wanna go nigh-nigh" I reluctantly laid her in her bed.
Imagine my joy when she looked up at me with those baby blues and said, " 'nuggle me, Mama?"
And guess what I did?
I 'nuggled that babe to sleep. Then I dried my tears, and kissed her soft cheeks goodnight.
these moments are true eye openers. i'm the mom that is BEDTIME drill sargeant. to bed ontime... but one night when my son wouldn't nap b/c he wasn't feeling well, i gave in and rocked him. he slept on me for 2 hours. i read a book. i snuggled him so good. my boy is a snuggler byut my daughter isn't. so i take all the snuggles i can get.
ReplyDeletewow. my daughter is 3. my son is almost 2. :(
You just made me cry. This happens to me with my daughter... there are times when I lay in bed with her (she is 7) and just weep for the time that is going by so quickly. Where does it go?
ReplyDeleteLove it and totally get it. My 9 year old is way too big, physically, for my lap, and yet I still pull her in for awkward lap time, which we both love. I look at my boys and know they'll be bigger than me and hope against hope that when they are massive teenage boys, they'll still want to sit on my lap. And that if they don't, that I'll be strong enough to make them. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://amysreallife.wordpress.com
This post gave me tears...
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids yet so I can't quite understand what you mean... I may not be able to have kids, but want. Beautiful blog... I added your button to my blog.
All the best,
Kim
i know how ya feel. my 12 year old was always my cuddle bunny. until she turned 8. even though i now have the baby and the two year old to cuddle, i miss those days with her.
ReplyDeleteYou had be bawling Mama M!! My daughter can not fit on my lap anymore because of those long lanky legs(6)..and my little guy (18months) has way more important thing to do. I cry for the time that is going by all too fast..all the time! When my girl wants to cuddle on my lap..I let her, who cares if she's well over 50lbs! LOL
ReplyDeleteI am in total agreement...today I think I'll spend a little extra time just snuggling my babes.
ReplyDeleteAbby is not the type of baby that can be rocked to sleep she's too nosy and will eventually try to run away and play. But the days she does let me snuggle her and rock her... I LOVE it! Us mommy's have to take the snuggles whenever we can!
ReplyDelete:sob: my two year old just recently started wanting to be held. my four year old is a huge snuggle bug. i am due to have a new bundle of joy any day and cherish my full lap every day!!
ReplyDeleteI love this...and I'm going to remember that the closer Clara gets to "two". I'll make sure to treasure that "lap time" because she will quickly be outgrowing it! :)
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you. My daughter is only 8-months, but when she is awake she is going a hundred miles a minutes and doesn't like to sit on your lap at all. She likes to snuggle with dad before bedtime, and will settle for me in a pinch. I miss when she was brand new, and she was so content to just snuggle (helped that she couldn't move on her own, LOL). Looking forward to my next, and the littlest of snuggles.
ReplyDelete~Kimberlee
made me cry today M :)
ReplyDeletehave you read the book, i love you forever. in the book the mom sings a song. i love you forever, i like you for always as long as i'm living my baby your be. and she sings this song as she rocks back and forth, back and forth. so as the story goes on the mommy sings to her children as they grow up and at the end of the book the son is holding his elderly mom singing it to her.
ReplyDeleteif you do not have it let me know and i will send you one.
Brings tears to my eyes too! Just last night my "baby" (he's 6!) fell and hurt his leg. Of course to make it better he got a kiss and then a hug on my lap. But it was so awkward, because like you mentioned, legs were everywhere, shoulders were at my eyes...I can't believe and never would've thought how quickly it all goes!
ReplyDeleteAww...tears in my eyes. That is so sweet. I love cuddling my little ones too. My oldest, who is 4, is already too big...he is as tall as a 6 year old. So I better enjoy it while it lasts!
ReplyDeleteOh so precious! I love it when Cubbie says, "Mama Rock?" meaning Mama, will you rock me? This is a good reminder to be thankful for every stage...even if they are still in diapers!
ReplyDeleteI am so blessed my boy is a cuddler. He just turned five and we rock and sing for 5 minutes(on my lap) before nap and bedtime every day. I know those days are numbered (can't believe we've made it this long)! But he also tells me to "make room" so he can sit next to me in the recliner when I read to him, so hopefully that will last beyond the actual rocking.
ReplyDeleteTime does fly, I can't believe my little guy is 5 already!!!
Annnnnnnd, now I'm crying. Thanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteI so know what you mean though. I cherish the snuggle time I get with my kiddos. Every time hubby and I start to talk about stopping our cosleeping he tells me, "One day they won't want us to even be in their room." and it totally gets me.
Awww! I hope that you have many more years of lap time! (but yeah, asking for that when you are 100 may be pushing it! haha)
ReplyDeleteStill lovin all the huggin from our grown kiddoes! And can't wait til the grandbabies start coming!
Blessings & Aloha!