Wednesday, November 11, 2009

#2 in Second Stage

Hey friends!

Okay, I'm gonna give a little disclaimer here...I know my last "talkin' shop" post grossed some people out (what with the whole "mucous plug" thing and all...), so, I'm gonna warn you...

This might gross you out.

Or, freak you out.

Or, maybe you'll breathe a sigh of relief.

I don't know which category you'll fall in. But, best of
luck if you continue on!

Okie dokie my dears! Let's get down to that everyone's sufficiently warned that things might get a, stinky around here, let's start! ;)

Today we are gonna talk about the feared, the dreaded, the horrifying labor effect of...(insert scary music and echo-y voice here..) "Pooping during Pushing"!

Oh, I know everybody is terrified of it. It's like the first time you met your in-laws or your boyfriends parents...sweat rings, days of "what if's", the whole unknown.

But, just as you survived that day (or you will survive that day)...alas, you will also survive if you poop when you deliver your babe!

And...I've gotta tell you...and you must trust me on this one, 'cuz it's gonna be hard for you to's okay if you poop.

Really!! It is!

In fact,, scratch that...let's just say, when you drop a little nugget (or, entire stink pickle--thanks A., for that one!!) when you are delivering, it tells us labor and delivery nurses something.

No, no...not what you ate for dinner last night (blech...sorry, that was gross...), it tells us that you are pushing correctly!! Yes, indeed it does!

When you are delivering a babe, you use the same muscles that you use to, well...take a grumble.

Honest to Pete! You do! I would never lie to you! In fact, there is one big mistake I see people make with pushing...well, two mistakes, actually...the first one being:

#1. Pushing your belly outward and upward.

Wrong. See, you want a downward and outward motion for that little babe, and many people start out pushing their bellies toward the, if you weren't, indeed pregnant, but wanted to make people think you were...and you push your belly out (try it now...yup, like belly look), that is the incorrect way to push out a babe.

And, mistake...

#2. Poop fear.

(HA!! Pun, totally intended...get it? #2? Poop? Gosh, I crack myself up sometimes! Bwahahahahaha!! Another one...crack? Like butt? And poo...oh, nevermind...)

But, indeed, some people are sooooo fearful of dropping a little stinky nugget, that they hold back...which is, effectively like, trying to push a car forward while it's in reverse...or something like that.

Sweet young mothers...don't hold back!!!! Trust us...we know when you're doing it, and it just prolongs everything. Even...the inevitable! 'Cuz, lemme tell ya...if there's a little something in there that needs to come out (and I ain't talkin' the babe, my friend)...when that noggin makes it's way through, it's gonna clear out everything in it's way.

And it's okay.

Honestly. Truly. Positively.

It's okay.

I know, I's easy for me to say. Right? I'm not the one laying on a bed, spread eagle with a bunch of people watching...but, it's okay! In fact...more people do poo a little (or a lot) than don't poo, and we expect it!

And, since I am Mama Honest today I'll fill you in on a little secret...*whispers*...I did it.

Yup. Honest to goodness, I poo'ed when I pushed. I'm sorry if that's TMI for you, but I just want you to know, you can poo in front of mere strangers and live to blog about it! ;)

I know for sure that I did with my oldest, 'cuz I was chanting to the nurses over and over and over, "But I have to poop!!! I have to poop!"

And they kept telling me, "It's's just the baby!"

And what I really wanted to say was, "DUDE!!! It's NOT the baby!!! I have to POOP!" 'Cuz I did...the babe was just...just...intensifying the moment.

So, I pooped. When I pushed out that first babe of mine, he, with his whopping 14 1/2 inch head...I pooped.

And, after my first, I one rightly cares! So, with my next babes, I just didn't care. Honest.

Well, okay. I kinda cared. still doesn't matter!

With babes 2-5, I pushed in front of, I did a little enema action before going to the hospital, or shortly upon arrival to. Heck, enemas sometimes even speed up a sluggish labor, so it was a bonus too!

Two birds with one stone!

With babe #5, my baby girl...I arrived to the hospital at 5-6 my antibiotics, had my membranes ruptured and felt "the urge"...the "urge" that I know was not baby time, but time for something else. I told my friend...that I had to poop, that I didn't want to poo when I was delivering...and she said, "Mama M., you know it happens everyday!"

And I said, "Yeah, but it's not everyday that you poop in front of your co-workers!"

I got her with that one! ;)

However, like I said above...if you do poo (there's a little rhymey action for ya) it shows us you are doing things correctly!

Does it stink? Yeah...most of the time.

Does it bother us? Only if we're pregnant and in those queasy early weeks...but, we Labor and Delivery nurses have impeccable control over our gag reflex.

You'll never know if we throw up in our mouths a little.

Chances'll never know if you poop a little! We try to be very discreet and quick about cleaning things up for you! So, you may remain completely oblivious to the whole thing.

And that's okay too!

I'll never hear a labor and delivery nurse say, "Ohmigosh!!! You totally just poo'ed! That's soooo gross!" I'll never happen.

But, if it does, you have every right to accidentally on purpose kick her in the shins.

So, does this make you feel any more at ease about the whole #2 in Second Stage? (Here's a little labor and delivery edu-macation for ya...First Stage Labor is from active labor to 10 centimeters dilated...Second Stage is from 10 cm to delivery of babe...Third Stage is from delivery of babe to delivery of you know!)

I hope I eased your mind...and heck, once you see that'll realize everything was worth it!

Everything. Single. Stinkin'. Thing.


  1. That was AWESOME!! I havta to say tho..I am soo glad I had c-sections..really I am!

  2. FUNNY!! That totally WAS my biggest fear until I had the coolest nurse in the entire world and who made me feel way better about it, then I didn't care. After a day of labor pain I was ready to poop on everyone around me anyway. :) To this day though I have no idea if I did either time, my husband swears I didn't but he might just be saying that to be nice. :)

  3. That is such a great post! LOL I remember when I was having Emma that I kept telling the nurse " I have to poop... over and over and over. She was laughing at me saying no you dont its just the baby. I told her how motified I was going to be if I did and she reassured me all the things you said.. She was super sweet and she was in fact correct. 15 min later here came that baby.. and no poop (that I know of... and I like it that way :)

  4. Oh my goodness! That was so funny. I remember with my first I was so nervous about it. I remember asking my husband if I pooed and he said no, and I was so relieved lol. Like it would have been the end of the world or something LOL!

    I always tried to get all of that out of the way before the second stage and according to my husband managed to be successful...he may just be trying to be nice though.

    I love your labor and delivery posts! Thanks so much for sharing.

  5. Hahaha! Thank you for this post! I remember way back when I was first trying to conceive and the first time I read about pooing during delivery and telling my husband about it. Needless to say we were both a little grossed out about it and at the time I was a little freaked about it.

    Three years later there I was in the delivery room, pushing to beat heck and yes I am proud to say I pooed and was not the least bit embarrassed about it!

    All shame is lost when you are in labor and delivery and recovery- just let yourself go!

  6. Oh my gosh. This whole entire post made me laugh so hard. Thank you for sharing, I needed that.

  7. This is so hilarious! My bladder and I can't really take these kind of posts.

    Since we are all bearing and sharing...With the amount of pressure I had with both kids, I could have cares less what flew out. I just wanted it out! If the stink pickle (thanks for crediting me, I am so proud) made things feel better, so be it.
    No shame. No shame.

    It's all about the poop after everything...Love it (the post, well...ya know)

  8. I don't think I ever pooped with any of my kids, but I remember my mom saying she did with one of my sisters.

    I sure did feel like I had to with my last one, but it was induced & I hadn't eaten since 10 the night before(thank you Lord!) and made sure things were taken care of before that 4:30am trek to the hospital. They told me that if I felt like it, she would be coming soon. I "felt like it" for about an hour! The doctor got in and my 5lb, 10 oz babe practically fell out. Yay me for holdin it in! LOL!

  9. o...m...g.
    haha- i couldn't even finish this! i never even THOUGHT about this being an issue! yikes! now I'M scared! HAHA jk, not really. Remind me to read this when i AM pregnant (which may not be for another year or two...)

  10. Ok, i just read the whole thing & - i'm not too worried about it. LOL. i'm sure they've seen much more embarrassing things!:)

  11. I delivered all 4 of mine "that way" and the first time I was so scared about that but with baby #2 I didn't have any drugs because it all happened so fast and that was the LAST thing on mine, I didn't care if buckets of poop came out I just wanted that kid out of ME!!! Oh, how things change after #1!!!

  12. I found you via Dooce and I have to say, this was one funny post to walk in on.

    Oh, and I'm totally stealing Stink Pickle. :)

    Cute baby, by the way!!

  13. Mama M!!!! This has got to be one of the best post I have read! It's funny...and it's SO TRUE!!!!

    With my first baby they kept telling me I would feel pressure. And my pushing lasted an hour and 40 minutes due to that. If they had just told me that I needed to push like I was poopin' that baby would have been out so much sooner! Gross...but a whole lot less pain!

  14. GREAT POST! I will admit it too... I did it. I had been warned about it, so I wasn't too embarrased. Actually, I was just thankful. I'd been really constipated in the days before giving birth (no one told me Vicadin would stop me up!), and really needed to poop!


  15. Love it. When I had my daughter I didn't care if i pooped or not I just wanted her out. I was so tired of being pregnant.

  16. I have to laugh at my neighbor... she brings up the whole "I can't believe I poo'd" when I had him thing ALL the time. My thoughts are if you ARE embarassed... why are you talking about it and telling me? I never even thought twice about it though...

  17. I loved this post! Since having my son I love hearing about deliveries, if I wasn't so squimish I would be a labor and delivery nurse! I don't know if I did a #2 during my delivery, if I did though, my nurse cleaned it up really quick! I had the best nurse, she was a seasoned nurse that had defintely seen her fair share of deliveries. Anyways, I wasn't too concerned about poo'ing even though I knew it was a possibility. I had gone to Lamaze class and the RN that was the instructor made us feel at ease about everything that might and would happen when we deliver; she assured us it was VERY normal and the nurses has seen everything anyways. :-)

  18. Well well well... your poop sure has you quite popular today! LOL!

    With my first 2 deliveries I made sure I pooped at home before I went in (scheduled inductions) but with my 3rd I just couldn't make it happen and I ended up pooping a bit during delivery. I was so glad it wasn't my regular doctor because he's just too hot to see my poop.

    Just sayin'.

  19. Hahahaha, I was SO worried about pooping. I remember pushing with my daughter, very intentionally trying to not poop. I should have just relaxed, who cares right?? L&D nurses are so special, I would have loved to be one. Maybe someday. :)

  20. That makes me feel better! Seeing as I'm going to deliver within a month, your posts have been right on for me!!

  21. Hahahaha that is soooo funny!!! I pooped with my second one and I would never have known if I didn't have it on video tape :o) Either way I didn't care so long as I got that baby out safe and sound.

    I have an award for you on my blog.

  22. I love it! To the best of my knowledge, there were no stink pickles for me, but I so totally would not have cared. By number three, my Doc's knew me well, and I got to be the demonstration mommy for a premed class. Those poor kids didn't know what to think!

  23. thats for the info. i let me husband know also. we dont have kids yet so that will be very helpful

  24. Ha-larious!!! My nurses were very discreet. I'm sure I pooed and didn't even know. Because I kept telling them the baby was going to come out of my butt. They assured me that he wouldn't. Great info!

  25. Of course you meant to say that if a L&D nurse says, "Gross you just poo'd" you may kick her in the HEAD not the shins, because you know, it would be pretty difficult to kick her in the shins considering your likely position. :)

    Great post!!

  26. that was the best thing I've ever read, I sat here cracking up! Tears in my eyes and everything... yes.. I pooed.. and apologized up and down a million times, but you are right, when you think of the end goal, nothing else matters!

  27. ok so I just came across this one and I have to say ... whew!! I am pregnant with #4 and this is my biggest fear in labor! I think I did with #2 and #3 but not completely sure but coming from an L&D nurse makes me feel so much better about the possibility... but still hope I do not of course!

  28. That may have been the funniest and most disgusting post I've ever read. Thank you for the info. :)

  29. OMG, loved this post. Not sure how I bounced over here, but sure glad that I did! :)

  30. LOL, awesome.

    You know, the only reason I'm worried about it is NOT because of the nurses, who I know see it "every day," but because of my HUSBAND, who told me after my first was born, "I didn't know there would be that much blood." I asked him if I pooped, and he looked at me like I had two heads, then went on to tell me that while the blood was bad, if I had POOPED, he'd have passed out right there.

    Gee, thanks, honey.


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