(Disclaimer: Another *insert big sigh* grief post. Just forewarning you...)
Not too very long ago, my husband would often ask me, while shaking his head and chuckling, "WHAT is your world like?!" I tended to be a happy-go-lucky, light hearted soul.
Well...let me tell you what my world was like:
The sky was a soft shade of pink with fluffy clouds outlined in glitter. The trees were covered in sugar-coated gumdrops that sparkled in the ever present sun.
Unicorns pranced around and fairies and butterflies floated by on the breeze. Occasionally, a rain storm would roll through (approximately once a month, accompanied by bloating and pimples) and things would be a drippy mess...but, it wasn't long before that sky glittered and the trees sparkled again.
Lately, my world has been very different. VERY.
Lately, my world consists of dull, soggy shades of gray. My feet shuffle along, just going through the motions.
Lately, my heart feels like someone's got it in a vice grip...squeezing it so tight that I'm certain it's being forced out of my body by way of my throat. That lump that seems to be ever present in my throat? Yeah, that's just my heart, being squeezed out of my body.
Lately, I have found it hard to keep tears away.
But yesterday...I saw a glimmer of that old world.
I caught myself smiling the easy smile that used to be a constant on my face.
I found that my heart didn't seem quite so tight.
I'm pretty sure that I can directly attribute this to spending time with my husband's family this weekend. In fact, I know that is why I was feeling better.
I continue to find comfort in the company of my in-laws.
In our common grief. In not having to "fake" a happy face. In the stories and the memories that get passed around.
Together, we will make it through.
And someday, my sky will once again be pink and glittery.