Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Do I look like a therapist?


What about me says, "Please talk to me. Tell me all about the troubles you are having with your girlfriend and her inability to handle money."?

I don't understand.

There I was, standing in line, minding my own business, when suddenly, I was asked to play therapist.

*whine* But I don't wanna be a therapist!!

Honest to Pete...I was waiting in line "At the WalMarts" to exchange a faulty Zhu Zhu pet. Along came Mr. Chatty, apparently in need of a listening ear...

He: *heaves big, huge, hefty, hearty sigh* I always make the wrong decisions.

Me: *thinking, do I ignore this (but he's looking right at me!!) or say something* Oh, that's too bad!

He: I moved in with my girlfriend about six months ago. She was having a hard time keeping up with her bills, so I moved in to help her out.

Me: Oh.

And this is when I called for the stock boys to bring up a chaise lounge and some cigars for me. This was getting serious.

He: But I don't get it.

Me: Oh.

He: She never has any money! I just paid half the rent and gave her $400! Then, she went on a girl's weekend, comes home and tells me, *insert falsetto here* 'I don't have any money!' And I told her, 'I just gave you $400!' And then I see bags from Crafts Direct and Taco Bell bags with food in them and Super America bags! I'm so frustrated.

Me: Well, what do you think we girls do on our girl's weekend? It's not all jumping on beds and pillow fights in our nighties! (Okay, so I didn't say that last part. But I wanted to.)

He: *ignores what I just said* I just came back from grandma's. I stayed at grandma's, and I don't know what to do. You know, we've been together for 7 years. After we got back together the last time (Oooooh, trouble in paradise before, I see...) we bought a truck together, she couldn't afford it on her own, so I had to co-sign and now she can't afford it so I've taken over the payments. She told me, *falsetto is back* 'If we break up again, that truck is mine!' and I todl her, 'Oh no it's not! I'm paying for it!'"

Me: Oh.

He: *big sigh is back* What do you think I should do?

Me: *thinking...um, when did I become a relationship counselor?! Hmmmm...this could be fun...* Well, do ya like her?

He: Yeah! But, *groan* I'm so frustrated! I don't know what to do!

During this time, we had made our way up in line at the Customer Service desk...those in front of us had left on their merry little ways, chuckling to themselves at the impromptu therapy session going on behind them.

Even the nice lady at the desk was giggling a bit.

He finishes his return/exchange/whatever and I say, "Well, good luck with that...and Merry Christmas!!"

So, whaddya think? How'd I do?

Tell me *puffs on cigar* what are you feeling...



16 comments:

  1. LOL! I have this same issue - we must both look so pleasant and nice that those with "issues" know they have a platform to gab, gab, gab. *sigh*

    I think you should have told him that he's better off single and women like men with trucks. ;)

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  2. I hear ya! Been there. You must be very approachable...which is a great quality. BUT - I know when I'm in "therapist" position, I just smile and keep reminding myself this person is in need of an ear...and then I run for it when I get the open window!

    By the way, how badly did you want to say "Are you listening to yourself?? This relationship is a dead end buddy!" LMAO!

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  3. Wow. I'm thankful that has never happened to me.

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  4. This totally happens to me... I was at school once and someone shared their whole horrible school history. How she'd passed a class but someone told her she had to retake it and now she was failing it... blah blah. You did exactly what I would have done pretty much just listen.

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  5. That has happened to me before lol. You did awesome:-)

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  6. Sometimes people just need someone to listen. I don't know what you could of told him??

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  7. Well it seems as though you did pretty good and, you know, heck, while I'm here at your blog and all... *laying down on couch, folding hands behind my head* Let's talk about how everything that has ever gone wrong in my life is somehow my mother's fault... Hmmmm? {grin}

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  8. How funny! I think you did a great job.. all the "oh's" simply bought you time until you could get the heck out of dodge. Then you politely ended the conversation with "Merry Christmas" A+ for sure! ;)

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  9. This happens to me to and I wonder what it is about me that says, "I would love to talk with complete strangers about their problems." There are days when I wish I wasn't so polite!

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  10. oh my when I used to work at the kroger I hated saying how are you today and then they really start in ...how wierd is that wal mart guy was probably hoping for an invite to have a drink and such ...lol

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  11. I always get the people working the register who want to tell me their life story. Just ring up my groceries and I'll be on my way, lady. Your bunions are your bidness.

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  12. I look at it as a gift, sure sometimes you don't want to hear peoples problems but you have a gift that when people see you they open up to you. I don't know if your religious or not but I know for me when random people tell me their problems I just say a little prayer for them. :)

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  13. HAHA ummm yeah, I would totally want you to be sitting in the chair while I am laying on the couch. Yup, for sure. :)

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  14. HAHAHA! That has happened to me many times. I can see it coming too. I always think "please don't talk to me please don't talk to me please don't -" & then they start talking! AHHHH! HAHA.

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  15. Hahahaha! Oh I so needed this therapy tonight lol. A good laugh was just what the doctor ordered and just what this patient got so thanks for sharing! Also so glad to know your life is as unpredictable as mine *huge sighs of relief* Have a BLESSED night!

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  16. You're a good woman! My rule is always: NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!!!!!! I regret it every time I do!

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I love comments! And, I welcome your thoughts that aren't in agreement with mine...as long as they are respectful!

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