Hi there...it's me, Mama. You probably don't recognize me because of the massive bags under my eyes, but don't worry, it is me. I promise.
It's just that, last night, I had some phone issues. And I spent 46 years on the phone with Fab (pronounced like "Fob" as in the wireless thing that opens your car doors) from Apple Care and it turns out he really is fab, but couldn't fix my problem easily and so we had to do a restore on my phone.
Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I've had to do a "restore to factory settings" on a phone, I have to dig deep...real deep...for courage to hit that "restore" button. It stresses me out. I guess I don't trust technology enough that I'll be able to recall any of that information when it comes to setting up my phone again.
Somewhere in my 46 years of talking with Fab, we realized I had entirely too many photos on my phone and he made me download them to my computer and delete them. Okay, so whatev...he didn't really make me, but strongly encouraged me to do so since I was down to this much >< free space on my phone.
So now, my phone is empty of photos. I feel sort of sad. Will you hug me? Okay thanks...
*pause for hug*
Now I feel better. A little.
After the phone was done being obliterated of any and all personal information of mine, I was setting it back up when I heard a tell tale gnawing sound that honed in my girlish freakout senses to the idea that there was a mouse in our room.
That "idea" was confirmed when I peeked over my slumbering husbands massive shoulders and saw the little beast sitting on it's haunches chewing on a mini M&M's container that one of my darling, sweet children apparently left on the floor...and my girlish freakout senses were suddenly on high alert.
Oh, did I tell you it was 1 am? I'm not sure about you, but seeing a mouse casually sitting on it's haunches IN MY BEDROOM sent a surge of adrenaline through my body (thank you, girlish freakout senses). I gently shook my husband awake and whispered "We have a visitor in our room. THERE'S A DING DANG MOUSE IN HERE!!!!"
And he responded, "Huh? Mmmm hmmm. Yeah. Okay." *snuffle* *rubs nose* *smacks lips* *rolls over* and promptly falls back in a deep sleep. While I peel myself off the ceiling and try my hardest to fall asleep because, you know, what if that mouse crawls across me in my sleep??????
Well, approximately I have no idea how many minutes later but long enough that I'd fallen (finally!!) into a deep sleep, I hear that gnawing sound again...NEAR MY HEAD!!!!! I smack my arm on the bed, hear a scurrying away from my head and down under the bed, leap out of bed and say, "THAT DAMN MOUSE WAS BY MY HEAD!!! MY HEAD!!!! Do you hear??!! BY. MY. HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dear sweet husband, "Hmmm?" *snuffle* *rubs nose* *smacks lips* *rolls over* *falls back to sleep*
Enter several hours of trying to talk my psyche into coming down from ceiling. Again. She was less trusting this time, since earlier in the night when she came down off the ceiling, all was not safe, as evidenced by the gnawing sound approximately 8, but no more than 12, inches from my head.
Then, those dang chirpy, happy, sing songy birds woke me up this morning. Damn birds.
Lord help us all today. Mama needs some mouse traps, some Xanax, and good long nap.
And, since you asked so nicely, I'll reassure you that my phone appears to be functioning just fine.