My Little Life

Last year, at about this time, during conferences, our Baby Girl's teacher told us that according to her standardized test results she was "borderline qualifying" for Title 1 service. Those words made me catch my breath. "WHAT??? MY daughter? Qualifying for Title 1? Couldn't be." And so, Mr. Wonderful and I talked it over, I talked with a few of my teacher friends, I scratched my head in confusion...she seemed to be at (if not further) the same "place" as our other children. The difference? Her personality. Shy (especially with strangers), where they were more outgoing. Stubborn, where they were "go with the flow".  We all agreed...we'd wait it out. Let her get more accustomed to school, tests, etc. Let her get more confidence. And so, we rode it out until winter when we were informed, via letter, "According to your child's test results, she qualifies for Title 1 services which will start...". And just like that,...

As my sweet, stubborn, spunky, strong-willed baby girl comes into her own, her personality is really starting to shine through. Still stubborn, still "her way or the high-way"...but now, well she's adding silly into the mix. And sensitive. (What?! SENSITIVE?!) She, who once drove a 30 minute stand-off (at the ripe old age of 2) because she wouldn't say "I'm sorry", is now my child to offer up the speediest, most sincere apologies. And that silliness. Her sense of humor is similar to Hambone's in that I'm not sure she INTENTIONALLY tried to be funny, but she is (and she doesn't always appreciate our laughter!)! In fact, just the other day, I was lamenting on how I hadn't had bacon in FOREVER. It was like I was dying. I WANT BACON!!! And my girl? Here's what she had to say, deadpan, about the whole situation: "Bacon is my worst nightmare." Oh sweet mercy did we laugh!!! And then I demanded a "maternity...

Crazy how 6 years can pass in the blink of an eye!! Sunday, we celebrated my sweet baby's 6th birthday. SIX?!?! How is she six??? ?? Seriously. She is amazing. At times cranky and cantankerous, she is also just as sweet and loving and smooshy and wonderful. For example: I was lounging on the couch yesterday and she came up behind me to give me a massage for my birthday (yup, we share the same birthday!). She was SO. EXCITED!!! for this birthday...so flippin' cute. We got home from my parents on Saturday night, she let out an excited little "eeeeek!!" and promptly declared, "I'm going to bed RIGHT NOW so my birthday will be here sooner!!"...and sure enough, a few minutes later, I found her, still in her clothes, tucked into our bed and sound asleep! Gosh dang, do I ever love that girl.  She can be frustratingly stubborn, unwilling to give, and downright bullheaded, but you know...I think it'll serve her well in life. (This g...

If you're a mom, you know exactly  what someone's talking about when they refers\ to their child having "that cry"...the one where you know "oh crap. THIS is legit.". Yeah, "that cry". (You're all nodding your heads in agreement now, aren'tcha?) Sunday afternoon we were at Belle's piano recital...enjoying some refreshments afterward and chatting with my grandparents and fellow piano parents when, from across the room, I hear "that cry". My head snapped up and my eyes locked upon my baby girl, by the refreshment table, with the Mr. tending to her. I began a brisk walk toward the table when I realized what was happening...spilled coffee, crying girl, hubby frantically wiping at her arm and my brink walk became a full out run. I got to her side to find her sleeve pulled up and a big area on her arm that had already blistered (well, technically it had that "melted skin" look to it) and my first reaction was to ...

After seeing 4 kiddos off before her, I knew it was only a matter of time before the excitement of school wore off for Baby Girl. I picked her up from school on Friday, and her usual bounce in her step was missing. She handed me her backpack and said, "Mama, I got kinda cry-y today...I missed-ed you." And with that, a little more of my heart broke. Today was met with tears. Right from the "Wake up, Baby...it's time to go to school!", her tears started to flow, she wrapped her little arms around me and quietly sobbed, "I don't wanna go." I hugged her tight, fought my own tears, and put on my fake happy face to try to find that excitement for her. Thankfully, it is "B" week at school and we found her "Build-a-Bear Bunny who's ready for Bed" to send with her and the tears stopped. Her adorable smile returned. Day 5 of school and the other kids are already asking, "Mama, when do we get a mental health day?"....

Last year, I penned a cute little poem about this day...this "Night Before School" day . But this year? Today? Well...today I'm just putting on a happy face and trying to keep those pesky tears at bay. Gosh...why is this so hard?! I sense a little apprehension in my Baby's answer to "Are you excited to start Kindergarten?"...she answers yes, but I can see there's just a hint of uncertainty. To be expected, I suppose, but it certainly doesn't make it easier on me. I finally realized why I think it's so tough on me this year (but, if I'm being totally honest, I was all torn up when the Pal went to K, also)...having had Pal when I was just a kid myself, (for the record I was 19) I've never really known life without kids. What IS a day like without a kiddo around to "mom" this and "mom" that and snuggle with in the mornings and chitter chatter with during car rides and read books with and be silly with and...ug...

I'm struggling. Really, truly, having a hard time with my baby going to kindergarten. I knew it was coming soon, I knew it was going to be difficult, but tonight, when I walked in the door from work and saw her Kindergarten stuff from Open House? Well, the tears started. And the tightness in my heart is breaking me. At this moment, I'm sort of wishing I was one of those moms that looks forward to school starting. One that gets excited about kids going off to school and eager for changes like this. But I'm not. And I'm struggling. You'll probably hear a lot from me over the next couple of weeks about this subject...cuz I'm just not ready.  I just can't believe that my Baby Girl is starting school. That my nest in one step closer to being empty. That my first baby is a senior and I'm taking his senior pictures tomorrow. Where is the time going?????? Ugh. Please pass the tissues.

It's always this time of year that makes me realize how stinking fast our kids grow up. One day you're changing diapers and wiping boogers and the next you're sending them off to Kindergarten...(or paying for college application fees...gah.). You all know how I feel about about sending my kids to school and that I'd jump all over a half-day/part-time option...but something else has been nagging at me. I feel like I'm being cheated out of 6 months with my baby girl. The three middles have birthdays that allowed me to send them to school closer to (or just over, in Hambone's case, what with his August birthday) 6 years old. With Pal, I didn't yet have the experience I do now to realize the luxury of keeping a kiddo home until they're almost 6...the three middles gave me the opportunity to experience that extra time. And I'm not going to get that with my baby. It kind of breaks my heart a little...knowing that, when I send her out th...

A month or two ago, I noticed Baby Girl was squinting one eye when looking at close up objects, books, etc. I started watching her like a hawk, looking for the same eye turn that Belle has. When Belle was diagnosed with accommodative esotropia, we were told to watch our younger kids, as it tends to run in families. I watched Baby Girl so closely that I wasn't entirely sure if I actually was, indeed, seeing her eye turn in, or if I was just being that crazy, overprotective, "I'm seeing something that's not actually there" kind of mom, but nonetheless, I made an eye doctor appointment for her, convinced, if anything, that her squinting needed to be evaluated. Well, mere minutes into that eye exam, and it was confirmed that Baby Girl also had accommodative esotropia. You'd think that I'd be all knowing and full of the right questions to ask, being we've been down this road before, but yeah. No. Not until I got home did all the questions come. ...

Last Tuesday, at a baseball game, I noticed my baby girl's eye was awfully boogery. By the time I had wiped away said eye boogers for the gazillionth time in approximately 15.3 minutes, it dawned on me that, perhaps, something  was going on with her eye. As in, PINK EYE. Never had that before, round these parts.  I watched it, it didn't seem to bother her, so I decided to just wait it out. Then, Saturday afternoon, I received a text on my lunch break at work that said, "Hambone has the same thing in his eyes that Baby Girl had"...and I shrugged my shoulders and continued to snarf down my lunch. What I wasn't prepared for when I saw my baby boy was how bad his eyes looked. Already, on Day 1, his eyes were worse than baby's had EVER gotten. I, however, being of the "nurse mom" variety that refuses to visit the ER unless it's for a heart attack or missing limb (well, and for abdominal pain, too, I've learned) dug my heels in and knew w...

Yesterday, Baby Girl and I were sitting in the living room, hanging out when we heard a BANG against the window and saw a bird fall to the deck. We went to the window, where we saw the bird laying there, moving it's beak, and I said, "Sometimes the birds just need some time to get back up, then they'll fly away. They don't always die.". She and I watched while the beak moving became less and less...until it was nothing. I began to formulate lots of "well honey, everything dies" comments and imagined the bird funeral we'd hold later and waited for the horror and the tears and the sadness...turns out, I shouldn't have worried. Baby Girl took one last look, declared, "Yup. He's dead." and walked away. Well then. Okay. Carry on.

The other night, my baby girl was supposed to be laying down in bed...and then I walked in, and found this: I'm not sure what it is, but I'm in love with these photos! Concentrating so hard on the game she was playing...her face light by the light of the computer screen...I just love it! Mostly, I just love her.

I'm working in my In the Kitchen with Gram post, and while I do, I thought I'd share a little something with you. As you know, my baby just turned 5 *sob*...you may not know this though: she loathes getting her pictures taken. Well, actually, that's not entirely true. She just loathes anything that anyone wants her to do...it's all gotta be on her time. So, I totally bribed her. TO. TA. LLY. I was all about asking nicely at first. Then pleading. Then I resorted to the bribes. First, a treat. And her eyes lit up...then, I threw in going out for lunch and she was putty in my hands. I'm quite pleased with what I got! Take a look:

Way back in December, in the midst of Christmas shopping and baking and wrapping and DIY bathroom remodels, I had many intentions of posting some cookies Gram and I made (I still will...someday). While I never got around to posting those recipes, I did realize how many warm, fuzzy, cookie-scented memories I have of my Gram. I remember Saturdays spent at their old house, Smurfs on the television, snow on the ground, and love in my heart. Advent calendars just for me, graham crackers dipped in coffee with Gramp, many hours spent on all fours scouting out which presents under the tree were mine...ahhhh, those were the days. The days when I showed up to Christmas and ate and unwrapped and enjoyed Christmas without the stress of being a grown-up. Anyway, being back in Gram's kitchen, in her warm, cozy kitchen with snow covering the ground outside and she and I inside chatting and baking...it brought back a flood of Christmas memories and made me yearn for the Christmas season to b...

Way back in November, when Belle and I (and my mom and dad) came home from Disney World, my babe had seen this "It's so FLUFFY!!!!" photo of Belle, that I had sent to my hubby: So, when she opened her Edith hat souvenir: She was, well, somewhat pleased, but apparently had been hopeful for the fluffy unicorn. Months later, she was still talking about it..."Mama, when you go back to that place with Dubya, will you plllllleeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee get me that 'Spicable Me unicorn?". Good golly. It tugged at my heart! I was >thisclose< to getting it for her when we were there, but the whole carrying it around all day/getting it to fit in luggage deterred me. And I regretted it ever since. Then EUREKA!! Or, more appropriately, "Lightbulb." (name that very obvious  movie)...her birthday was approaching! So, one night, while in the comfort of my bed, I googled Universal Studios store and LOW AND BEHOLD there it was. That fluffy little u...

So, the story goes that, once upon a time, there was a young girl. She kinda really liked her birthday and hence, began celebrating it for weeks (read: a month). That young girl became a young woman and gave birth to some children. One day, on her birthday, her surprise 5th child came into the world and forever stole that (not as) young woman's birthday. And her heart. This girl: This spunky, stubborn, sometimes sensitive, girl is the one who is the birthday/heart stealer. Never before in my (the "not so young woman" mentioned above) life have I ever received a birthday present that is as perfect as the one I received that February morning 5 years ago. A tiny bundle of spunk, wrapped in pink and nestled into my arms stole my birthday right out from under me...and became the gift that no one, ever, will be able to top. She is amazing. Full of "piss and vinegar" as they say, but also full of hugs and love and laughs and sunshine. She is a mighty...

I just finally  downloaded the Christmas photos from my camera...and it made me miss Christmas all over again. Have I ever told you how much I love Christmas? Oh. I have? Well, carry on then. Anyway, my babe was in rare form on Christmas Eve morn, asking to be photographed: Posing: "And mom, one like this?": Then came the requests for photographing her baby doll...who also received a brand new Christmas nightgown. I obliged, of course: And apparently, I proceeded to get very busy while someone  began snapping photos of her surroundings. I was about to delete them all when I realized, wow...this is what her world looks like. This is Christmas through her eyes. Just look:  And my favorite:  Love seeing the view from a child's perspective!