Tuesday, February 25, 2014

My Latest Airbrush Tan Experience...

Hold onto your socks, friends...this one is riveting! :)

The Scandinavian in my DNA make up runs deep...I've got the pale, pasty skin to go along with the blonde hair and blue eyes. I always wished I was that rare breed of blondes that could get a deep, golden tan in the summer, but alas, it is not so.

I can tan...kind of. I mean, you know, FOR ME I can get tan...but my "tannest" will always be my husband's "palest". He's of the enviable genetic makeup that allows him to walk outside to get the mail and come back in with a deep, golden bronze hue to his skin.

Jerk.

;)

Anyway, long ago, I eschewed tanning beds. The risk of skin cancer just wasn't worth that "healthy" (or you know, not) glow of a tan. Instead, I discovered the marvel of airbrush tans. And I'm not talking the "get nekkid and stand in a capsule while an automated machine tans you"...oh no, I'm talking about "get nekkid and stand in front of a complete STRANGER while she sprays you with a gigantic airbrush gun".

Freaky, yes. But totes worth it, man.

So, several weeks prior to our Mexico departure, I called my salon to get my air brush tan appointment. Having done this several times before, I knew the ABSOLUTE earliest I could do it was Saturday evening, but I preferred Sunday afternoon.

"Are you open on Sunday?"

"Yes! By appointment only."

"Well...can I make an appointment for an airbrush tan?"

"Oh...it looks like both our girls that do that service are off that Sunday."

"How about Saturday?"

"Eeeesh, they're both off on Saturday too."

"Oh no."

"Friday?"

"Nope."

"Well...we do have one girl training in. Let me check and see if she'll be ready by then."

"Okay!!!"

Several weeks pass without hearing from the salon. I'm starting to get nervous, cuz I need this done. Like NEED! I mean...have you ever seen a dead of winter Scandinavian in the Mexican sun?! It's BLINDING!!!!! I needed some sort of color base!

So, I call the salon...and I'm told she's almost there, but not quite taking appointments yet.

I desperation I plead, "Can I be her guinea pig?!?!?!?"

After a bit of phone tag the salon decides, yes, they will allow the "trainee" to do my tan with the understanding that there will be no refund or "fix" if something goes wrong.

Well, SIGN ME UP!! I was desperate and really...how can you mess it up?

The Saturday before our trip rolls around, I head down to the salon, meet the adorable girl I'm about to bare it all in front of and she starts the process.

Because I'm super worried about offending her, I don't ask what color she put in for me, I just let her do her thing...maybe it was some sort of psychological test...me seeing if she'd ask? Meh. No. It was me just not advocating for myself. Ugh.

Anyway...she's doing her thing. I'm thinking "something feels a smidge different" but can't really put my finger on it, then she asks..."can you feel the mist?" and I say, "no...not really". She shakes the gun thing, resprays and yeah, it's there...just not like it usually feels.

I'm paying closer attention and so I start to tell her, "Nope, can't feel it. Okay, I can now." and am essentially giving her a play by play when she offers up, "they were having a hard time with it earlier...when they held the gun up, it didn't spray" and sure enough, THAT'S it! When she raised the gun above my shoulder level, I couldn't really feel a darn thing (other than air)...so, when she got to my face, I offered to squat.

Yes.

Squat.

So there I was. Nekkid as a jay bird (except for the disposable "panties"), doing squats in front of a complete stranger. Spray up to shoulders, squat for a face spray, stand. And repeat.

And repeat.

I may have snorted with embarrassed laughter...but there was only one other person in that room to prove it, and I'm not telling you her name!!! ;)

I get dressed, see a barely visible tan line where the panty string was and go about the day, every so often saying, "I don't feel very tan.".

I wake up the next morning, and guess what?

NOT TAN.

Like, at all.

Not a bit.

So, those poor people in Mexico got a glimpse of what Scandinavian blinding white skin looks like in the Mexican sun. 

Pretty sure their eyeballs will never be the same...

(Oh, and they didn't charge me for the tan...they considered it training. Phew. And also, let this story NOT discourage you from airbrush tans! They really are amazing...I'm blaming the malfunctioning machine on this one, not the girl!)



Monday, February 24, 2014

Real Time...

Sitting here, listening to the whir of my Young Living diffuser and breathing in the lovely aroma of my "Lavermint" (yeah, yeah...that's my made up word for "peppermint" and "lavender". Catchy, huh?). Still totally sold on these oils.

For real.

Anyway...crazy how now that I have a job with "real" hours, 10 o'clock seems "late"! This would've been early for me before...now I'm rushing to be able to lay my head down and get to sleep! 6 am comes so fast.

Boo.

I hate my alarm.  

Amazed that it was 2 weeks ago, already, that we left for Mexico. CRAZY. Seems like we just got back...and yet, like we never really left! ;) Such is life for a busy family...jump right back in like you never missed a beat!

My night was made when Kate mentioned this might be the year that Blogapalooza comes to fruition. So. EXCITED!!!!! 

Gel manicures? LOVE them. This is one perk to an office job that I didn't have before...I couldn't wear fun polish at the hospital...now? Bring it on!! Except, the gel. When it starts chipping. Ugh. I can't just LET IT BE and so I pick. And pickandpickandpick and then my nails get all peely.

Fer dumb.

Okay. I've gotta hit the hay.

Just wait until you read my story about spray tans tomorrow.

Riveting, I tell you. COMPLETELY gripping.

Or, you know, maybe not. ;)

G'night!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Ten Things I Learned on Vacation.

Been back to the daily grind now for a week. A WEEK!! 

Coming back from vacation is such a rude awakening, isn't it? Days upon days of relaxation, maid service, no responsibility...then WHAM!!! as soon as the plane touches down, it's back to reality!

Super glad to be home with my babies...missing the heat, the sound of the crashing waves, the aforementioned maid service...but so thankful to hold my kiddos in my arms and sleep in my own bed!

Anyway, I learned a few things on vacation, thought I'd share them with you. Ready? Okay...in no particular order, here's what I learned:

1. SPF 15 is no match for the Mexican sun. (At least for my Scandinavian skin.)


2. A sunburned tummy is so incredibly itchy it just might make you go crazy.


3. Plane delays on both ends of your trip are the pits.

4. Pina Coladas are delicious...but only the first 8 or so. Then? Ugh. The sweet. The coconut. The blech.



5. Spas are amazing. (Especially the Fiesta Americana Grand Coral Beach spa...not to be specific or anything.)

6. Speaking of spas, when your massage therapist tells you, in broken English, "You sweat a lot today. Drink water." She ain't lyin'. (Holy MOLY...why did that massage make me sweat like a professional wrestler?!)

7. Flying with a bad cold is akin to shoving burning hot knives into your ear drums.

8. Speaking of flying...just when you think you might be able to do without your dose of Valium for your flight, the pilot will announce, "Just a heads up, we will be experiencing some rough air."...and suddenly the only thing that matters in the whole world is ingesting that dose of Valium as quickly as you possibly can. (Oh how I envy those of you who can fly without fear.)

9. One on one time with your hubby is priceless.

10. No one at home, not one single person, feels sorry for you when you tell them about your sunburn, your ear drums, your plane delays, your flying fears, or how you're so sick of pina coladas. ;)


Excuse me now, while I itch my belly.


Monday, February 17, 2014

He's Legal...

My baby.

My first born.


That boy who first made me a mama.



He's 18 today and I think I may need to spend the day in bed with a box of tissues, crying over how quickly the time went.

I mean...SERIOUSLY. He's nearly as old as I was when I had him. HOW CAN THIS BE PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?


How can that little boy who used to reach his pudgy little arms up to me and say, "I wanna hold you me" (sounded more like, "Ina hoed choo me", though...) be a legal adult?

Old enough to vote.


To gamble.

To rent rated R movies.

To buy cigarettes (he better not).

To get married (see above).

People. I need you to do something for me. 

Right now...go find your babies, study their faces, smell their sweet breath, hold them in your arms and squeeze them extra tight, because tomorrow? Tomorrow you'll wake up and find that they, too, have suddenly grown up and become adults right before your very eyes.

I hope and pray that I've done right by him. That we've given him a strong foundation and set an example of love and family values. As much as I miss the days when he was little, I am excited to see the places he goes in life.

He's an amazing kid and I am BEYOND proud of him.

Happy Birthday, Pal. I love you to the moon and back!



Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Real Time...Mexican Version!

Ahhhhh...this is the life. 


Mid 80's. Sunshine galore. Crashing waves at my back.

Still a puddle of relaxation from my trip to the spa this morning. Indulged in a one hour massage followed by a hydrotherapy session. Whoa...have any of y'all ever done a hydrotherapy session? It was awesome! In a weird way.

First, a steam room. Like, bordering on uncomfortable "I can't breathe" steam...just when I was about to wave my white towel they came and got me and put me in...

A cold shower!!!! Oddly refreshing and invigorating...and the 10 seconds I spent in there was plenty!! It kind of went back and forth like that, hot treatment, cold treatment, and ended with swim in the biggest jacuzzi I'd ever seen.

Currently waiting for the Mr. to return from his deep sea fishing adventure. (I was supposed to join him but bailed and did the spa treatment instead...so glad I did now!!

Signing off and leaving you with a glimpse of our view...


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

6 Years...

Crazy how 6 years can pass in the blink of an eye!!

Sunday, we celebrated my sweet baby's 6th birthday. SIX?!?! How is she six????? Seriously.



She is amazing. At times cranky and cantankerous, she is also just as sweet and loving and smooshy and wonderful. For example: I was lounging on the couch yesterday and she came up behind me to give me a massage for my birthday (yup, we share the same birthday!).

She was SO. EXCITED!!! for this birthday...so flippin' cute. We got home from my parents on Saturday night, she let out an excited little "eeeeek!!" and promptly declared, "I'm going to bed RIGHT NOW so my birthday will be here sooner!!"...and sure enough, a few minutes later, I found her, still in her clothes, tucked into our bed and sound asleep!

Gosh dang, do I ever love that girl. 


She can be frustratingly stubborn, unwilling to give, and downright bullheaded, but you know...I think it'll serve her well in life. (This girl won't take ANYONE'S crap!!)


She truly is the perfect ending to our family. The spark of our clan. The one that everyone looks out for. The true "baby" of the family. Her biggest brother dotes on her. Her youngest brother is her best friend. Her middle brother has the least patience for her, and her sister loves to pamper her and be girly with her!

When I was pregnant with this little spark, we thought she was going to be a gigantic boy...when she came out a little pipsqueak girl, we were so surprised!! I should've known then, that she was full of spunk!!


She makes me smile from the inside out.

This babe of mine, this icing on our family cake, this little firecracker, is a true blessing from God. 

And I am so incredibly grateful that he chose me to be her mama.

I hope I do her proud.

Happy birthday to our sweet little stubborn spunk! We love you!!!


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